New member, extremely confused!
Hello all, I have read many threads but felt I need to make my own post. Here is a background on the situation I am in. I have had a girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, I am 25 and she is 26. We attended college together and basically lived with one another for the first year and a half of our relationship. Everything was perfect then, always doing new things together, going to rock concerts (which we both love), going to tons of hockey games, going to movies, talking for hours on the phone, always making love, etc. Every time we passed a jewelry store she would always point out her favorite type of ring so I knew what to get when the time was right. In addition, we signed an apartment lease 1 month ago, started moving her stuff in, and I even did some repairs on it! Every time we talked on the phone she would always call me her soul mate, her best friend, and her lover... all of which I could say about her.
Things began to drastically change about 4-5 months ago when she graduated from college and moved back home (about 1 hour away from my college) while I had one more semester to finish up. Things started to get rough because she works 5 days a week, and I could rarely see her due to my classes. On top of this, every time I went out to visit her we did the same things and stopped doing new things. Being so far from each other also caused us to fight a lot about little things both on the phone and when we were together. This also caused our affection towards one another to diminish. When I tried to kiss her she would turn her head or start talking, she would try to put her arm around me and I would stick my hand in my pockets, etc.
About 3 weeks after our 2-1/2 year anniversary, I went to meet her for lunch and she started going off on me, saying that we don't communicate anymore, we fight too much, we don't make love any more, I don't try to be friends with her friends, etc. I tried to go through and explain each problem she had, but she was having none of it. We sat in silence for about one hour and I told her I had to go and we hugged while she cried in my arms.
She called me the next day and I asked when I could come see her, and she proceeded to tell me that I couldn't because she hadn't moved her bed into the new apartment and there wasn't enough room on the couch. I told her I would sleep on the floor if it meant saving the relationship and she told me she wouldn't let me do that. We talked for the next 6-7 days consecutively, where she tells me I am not working hard enough to find a job (which I had been doing since the beginning of the semester), we still don't talk enough (I try to talk to her, but she always says she has nothing to talk about), I need to show her I care other ways than buying her things (referring to the dozen of roses I bought her for our anniversary), etc. This hurt me deeply. The very next day, one week before my final exams started, we talked for about 4 hours and both agreed on a breakup (although I was really strongly against it) due to lack of communication, her not being happy, and her more or less being confused with everything going on. We both cried over the phone and she said all she wanted to do was come out and hold me, but I said that probably isn't the best idea.
Since the break, she has been calling me way more than she did when we were dating and feels the need to tell me why we broke up every time we talk. She says that we need to work on building back our friendship before we can rebuild a relationship, yet says she does not know whether she wants to date again.
I'm sorry for the long message, but I have no idea what is going on here. First I think we are at a very confusing time being that I graduate in one week and we were going to get a place. Then I think that she really has lost interest in me, but why would she be calling me 3-4 times a day seeing how I am and what I am doing that day. I have read about the NC thing, but does that apply in this situation? We still say we love each other, we agree we are one another's best friends, and we agree we do not want to lose each other.
All in all... HELP!!