Girlfriend left me after five years because I have been horrible for the last year.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years last year I have been a nightmare to live with I have realized now she has gone I have been nasty in the sense of verbal abuse. We have spoken and I have written her a six page letter saying sorry I know this cannot be forgiven I not expecting that just one last shot at this relationship with me now realizing that I cannot do what I have done in the past. I have spoke to her a few times and one min she says its over in her head then she says she does not know. I then asked to meet in a casual place to talk like adults to discuss this and she says maybe. We talk OK on the phone but what's going on in today today things but I tell her she is very special to me and I love her very much eating and sleeping for me is hard getting sent home from work on sleeping tabs. I have asked for on last chance but she says last time was the last chance she says she does not feel that way about me anymore but I say how about meeting she says maybe. I am trying so hard to be back with her I love her and I am sorry.
Yesterday we spoke nice conversation I was telling her she is very special I love her she said she did not feel the same way asked to meet up she said maybe. I text her last night a couple times during the day could not help myself. I then went round this morning she had ago at me telling me that when she is nice to me I bug her I told her sorry tried to give her a cuddle my heart sank. I said can we meet she said does not know. This is doing my head in I got sent home from work because I cannot cope with that went to the doctors they signed me off for a week the other thing is she was a virgin before we met and it makes me feel sick someone else going there I feel useless and horrible inside threw my tea in the bin last night could not stomach it I really love her she is busy starting own buisnnes so she is busy but I am trying very hard. Everything reminds me of her even TV and radio drive to work in silence.
I will say I am not looking for fogiveness I understand what I have done I am stuck I really have made a terrible mistake and I wish she could find it in her heart to give us another shot. I said this to her by taking us in small blocks no rush does not have to move back in until she is ready and she says I don't know what to do.