I was with my ex for only 4 months and this was my first time in any relationship in 29 years of my life; I fall in love and build my life around her. I'm omitting the detail how she was good to me, she really shown me some very good time in those 4 months and make me feel very very special.

Its been 2 months we separated and I contacted her few times in mean and every time I was in pain in wait for her reply which was never there.

I gone through a lot of post here and I'm finding myself in NC state, I always open my email/sms, type it and then delete it without sending across but still it hurts a lot and always keep doing this more than few times a day.

I always convince myself that I don't want her back but heart is not with me which always looks for her and she is my mind all the time.

I have few questions -

1. Why I feel this pain is like a real physical pain, when I'm don't have any physically
Wound?

2. I want to forget her but how; when I'm can't change my house, go though same road, same supermarket everyday in my life and have some common friends.

3. In last 2 months I haven't have a single night of sleep for more than 2 hr in continue, what should I do to have a sleep and feel relax in morning to have better thoughts?

4. I know she is not coming back then whom I am waiting and crying for?

Many Thanks.

It is going to be hard with her being your first love, but you can do it.

1. Your heart is broken. Your gut is wrenching. You are feeling alone, confused, and probably scared. It does hurt physically.

2. It will take time. You won't forget her entirely, but you will learn to deal with it and move on. Make the changes you can. Try to stay busy to keep your mind off her, but you do need time to think about what has happened and to process the information.

3. Exercise is one way to deal with your stress. Find ways to relax before you go to bed - read a little, maybe take a hot bath or shower.

4. It takes time to get over a loss. It will get better. I find that reading the threads in here help. There is so much good info. One especially good thread - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...rs-359578.html

Good luck.

Im sorry for your pain-a broken heart does hurt it will become easier as time goes by.
To improve your sleep maybe you could try some relaxing herbal teas and listening to some soothing music before switching the lights
Off?
Take care and look after yourself.

Im posting on your tread as this is a reply to you.
Trust that it will get better and that you ll find new friends and a new life where you re moving to.
Breaking NC is not a good idea.
Take one day at the time and take care of yourself.

A quick question, whenever I think about her I come here and read some responses to similar question what I'm going through to get some confidence and sympathy. I'm not sure its helping me or not in long run but immediately remind me all that good time again which is very painful.

Should I take a break and don't read this forum?

That's up to you many people find this forum helpful as they realise they are not alone in feeling heartbroken.

Couple things about this forum.

1) It is like therapy to me. About a month after my break up I was constantly searching for things to make sense. I did the searching via the internet as I knew my friends were probably tired of hearing about it and also I don't think even they knew what to say to comfort me. So I came here and just read. I would read on my days off, on breaks, whenever I had a free minute.

This forum reminded me that I am not alone. All too often when going through heart break we feel alone and that is never a good sign. Being here reminded me that my situation wasn't unique nor was I abnormal.

2) The best thing about this forum is helping others out. Whether you know it or not, helping others is one of the best ways to mend your own heart. I don't know if there is a more noble thing to do in the world than to take time out of your day to help complete strangers. This forum made me a better person and I am not ashamed to admit it.

You can leave this place alone for awhile, it is up to you. But I know for me, it was one of the saving graces for my heart ache.

Finally last day in this town and so urge to break NC, I want to see that smiling face again for the very last time, I know its not healthy but just hurting too much...

Try reading this sticky to help you fight the urge to break no contact: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

However, I think you've lost sight as to why you're in no contact. No contact is a healing tool. The pain can get worse at first, but once it's reached it's pinacle, it will get better. But you have to be patient with yourself. When the going gets tough, you can't give in to the urges.

Every time you break the no contact rules, you're going to reset all the progress you've made. So that's why you feel like it's taking forever to recover. That's because you keep restarting. Stick with the rules and fight all the urges to break it. Once you can do that, you will see some progress and it will get easier.

Only you can end the pain. You must resolve within yourself that you will move forward and your life will go on.

I agree with others this forum can be helpful. You are not alone. You will find support here. You will learn ways to deal with your emotions.

I disagree that it's good to constantly hang out here though. So often I see that the broken hearted, like yourself, come here looking for some magic potion to get their significant other back. Or a wonder cure to immediately stop the hurt. You end up scouring the posts for any clue, hint, or tactic that put it all back together for you. Unfortunately it never bears fruit and you continue a self-defeating cycle of never moving on.

Again, only you can end the pain. You must resolve within yourself that you will move forward and your life will go on. Grab it by the reins and ride it!