How to support mom with new husband who has been cheating since before the wedding?
I’m going to try to keep this short. My main question is: how do you support someone if you totally disagree with their decisions?
Here’s the context:
My mom remarried someone she had been dating for a while. 5 weeks after their wedding we find out that not only has her new husband been cheating on her, but that he was cheating on her for a couple months before they got engaged all the way up until a month before the wedding(from what we can prove with phone records.)
Being the oldest child and very protective of my family, I confronted him and he lied to me about it. He then proceeded to lie to my mom about it. It was only when we could show him proof that we knew, that he finally admitted to her what happened.
I thought my mom should try for an annulment but she decided that she wanted to work on her marriage and get help. I totally 100% did not agree with her trying to work on her marriage but I did not tell her what to do, just that she should be careful and to make sure she gets help for herself before trying to fix her marriage.
We are now 8 months later and I have not spoken to this guy since I confronted him, nor do I have any desire to. From what she’s told me, he has not changed. I don’t need people like that in my life and have zero interest in communicating with him…why should I? I’m not angry and I’m not afraid, I just don’t have a spot for him in my life.
This guy has a long history of cheating – he cheated on his first wife and, according to his daughter who has witnessed many of his relationships go sour, he’s cheated on most of his girlfriends.
How do I support my mom while she’s going through this if I don’t agree with her decision? She seems to think that support involves acceptance and love and me just going along with her decision because I support and respect her. I can’t just pretend I agree with her. How do I show her that I support her even though I don’t agree and will not have anything to do with him?
Any advice will be appreciated!