I think we are both cheating on each other.
I am in my first ever real gay relationship, and we have been happily together now for around 6 months or so. We have been very happy together, the sex is great, and we love each other very much - often talking about spending the rest of our lives together etc.
When we first started the relationship it was made clear that it would be a challenge for both of us to be monogamous, as neither of us were used to it, but we were going to do it, no matter what. My partner was more adamant about this than me, as when I suggested trying an open relationship, he did not see it as an option.
Unfortunately, we only get to see each other at weekends, and I strayed and have had a number of encounters with other men without him knowing during the week. I then had my suspicions recently that my partner had been doing the same thing, just through a few little changes in behaviour and some things that were brought up in conversation. I then did something which I now really regret (and plead with anyone out there never to do if they are considering it), and I logged into his email account (I guessed his password), and saw that he is and has been meeting up with men for casual encounters, much like myself. I have tried to bring up in conversation little hints to see if he will mention anything, but he always denies anything saying that I am the only person he wants to be with, which I now know is a lie.
Through my own fault, I have now gotten myself into an awful situation. Do I confront him about him cheating by telling him I betrayed his trust and read his emails, and keep quiet that I had been doing the same thing? Do I just sit him down and have a chat telling him that I had been cheating and asking him if he has been doing the same thing? Do I talk it through with him and talk about the possibility of an open relationship as we are obviously not very good at monogamy, no matter how hard we try? Or do I just keep quiet about everything? I hate to think of him being with another man, but I know that I have absolutely no right to be angry at him for doing so, as I am just as bad as he is, probably worse.
Before I get any responses, I know how awful I have been by cheating, reading his emails etc, so just saying how terrible I've been won't help - as I say, this is my first gay relationship and I am still learning a hell of a lot about relationships, what I want from one, and now I know exactly what not to do when I suspect someone is cheating on me!
Thanks for any help in advance - I am really struggling here :(