I've been with the same guy for almost 9 yrs now I work full time and he is home all the time,but he tells me I'm lazy I do nothing around the house he locks me out of the computer one time he didn't let me use the phone he said he pays the bill and I have no right touse it. But see that is the only thing he pays beside car insurance he thinks I should pay it all. This has been going on for a while now this to me sounds like verbal abuse what do you think?

He sounds like a very bored individual and you happen to be the only one around to pick on. I wouldn't call it verbal abuse per se. He needs something to do outside the house and you would probably find his attitude will change.

Tick

Do you want to sit through another 9 years of this? I wouldn't...

Overall you need to decide if you can accept this behaviour. A difficult situation seen as you love him. But you don't sound happy, and everyone deserves happiness.

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this has been going on for a while now this to me sounds like verbal abuse what do you think?

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I think you should have been long gone 8 years ago, but its not to late NOW!

Why is he staying home while you support him? And he treats you poorly? Get out now. Don't waste another minute on this guy.

When you start a question with "I love him but...." you already know the answer.

This is uncalled for.I wouldn't put up with it...

It seems like your scare to move on and would rather stay with someone that is no good for you and settling with someone just because this person is familiar to you. But guess what sometimes change is good. This guy is going continue to be this and sooner or later your going get sick of it and blow up due to his bs. Leave for your own piece of mind and let him continue on with his lazy life.

If he complains, (movie title)
He's Just Not That Into You

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Originally Posted by tickle

he sounds like a very bored individual and you happen to be the only one around to pick on. I wouldnt call it verbal abuse per se. He needs something to do outside the house and you would probably find his attitude will change.

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Amen to that.

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Originally Posted by jenny128

i've been with the same guy for almost 9 yrs now i work full time and he is home all the time,but he tells me i'm lazy i do nothing around the house he locks me out of the computer one time he didn't let me use the phone he said he pays the bill and i have no right touse it. but see that is the only thing he pays beside car insurance he thinks i should pay it all. this has been going on for a while now this to me sounds like verbal abuse what do you think?

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I can't give u an advice.I myself needs one but I may tell you that a year ago I would certainly blame you a lot for what you're doing to yourself,but now I know it isnot that easy.

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Originally Posted by jenny128

i've been with the same guy for almost 9 yrs now i work full time and he is home all the time,but he tells me i'm lazy i do nothing around the house he locks me out of the computer one time he didn't let me use the phone he said he pays the bill and i have no right touse it. but see that is the only thing he pays beside car insurance he thinks i should pay it all. this has been going on for a while now this to me sounds like verbal abuse what do you think?

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I think you already know what you need to do. Maybe you're here hoping someone here will validate your decision to stay with this clown. Sure, relationships can be tough and require a lot of work to keep them going but if the negatives outweigh the positives, move on. Sometimes it's hard to leave someone because you're in a comfort zone but why should you be comfortable being mistreated? Love should feel good. Move on and find someone that will appreciate you.

Warn him that you'll leave if he keeps going and see where it goes from there

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Originally Posted by iona hunter

warn him that youll leave if he keeps going and see where it goes from there

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I disagree with this because threats don't usually work in situtations this severe. She is being verbally and emotionally abused. He obviously feels secure in the relationship because otherwise he wouldn't mistreat her. So she gives him an ultimatum and he still doesn't change?- takes us back to square one.

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Originally Posted by nikosmom

I think you already know what you need to do. Maybe you're here hoping someone here will validate your decision to stay with this clown. Sure, relationships can be tough and require a lot of work to keep them going but if the negatives outweigh the positives, move on. Sometimes it's hard to leave someone because you're in a comfort zone but why should you be comfortable being mistreated? Love should feel good. Move on and find someone that will appreciate you.

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I find your answer great would you help me with my question.it's under the title of I don't know what to do
Thank you