I am currently living in a 2br/2ba apartment that I will be moving out of at the end of July. Two of my friends (who live 4 hours away) are possibly moving to my town for college, and I am planning to live with either one or both of them. A girl I met about 6 months ago wants to move in with us so we can have a 4 bedroom apartment. She caught me off guard when she asked about it and I don't remember what I said, but I feel like it is not my place to decide to take in a 4th roommate, especially since the other 2 girls have never met her. After spending more time with her, I really don't think I can live with her! However, now the other two girls may not be moving here after all. I am perfectly fine with the idea of living by myself.

My question is: How do I tell this other girl I don't want to live with her? I think it would ruin the friendship, but I am afraid telling her would too. She is extremely sensitive and I know whatever I say will make her angry- I am just looking for the best option.

Please help!

Be blunt about it, but don't be insensitive. Say something like, "Hey, I'm sorry, but I decided to live alone for a bit." Leave it at that. If she pursues it, tell her the benefits of you living alone. Responsibility, forming a routine, becoming stable, etc. They're all good reasons.

I've always found with delicate situations like this you a far better making the other person think its something wrong with you and not them.

Ie: You could tell her you have some issue's with (you pick whatever you think is appropriate) and you don't think it's fair for you to subject her to theses as your afraid to lose her friendship.

Just an option.

Hey Nikki I was in the same situation when I went to college to. First off it's good that you found this out now then later when it would be to late. Now my question to you is are these things that she can't change? Can you sit her down and tell her what's bothering you, so then maybe you can give her an opportunity to change? If she can't change then I would be honest, nice about it but honest. The last thing you want to do is hurt her feelings or loose your friendship. Ya know what I mean?

I'd definitely keep it short. The more excuses you make, the more transparent you'll be. Just tell her you've decided to stay solo. Beyond being honest, you don't owe her an explanation for your reasoning. Just tell her soon enough so that she can have time to make other arrangements.

Thank you all! I have been worrying over this for such a long time. It is good to hear advice from other people!

arnimal7: I don't really know if she could change the things that bother me. It is just kind of who she is, which is great in small doses, just not every day!

I've been having some problems with my current roommate, because she has lived here for 3 years and I kind of feel like a guest. I was thinking maybe telling her I don't want to go through it again? I'm not sure if that will be offensive or not- like I was accusing her of being the same way?

Nah. Just tell her you want to live alone. Short, simple, sweet, and the truth. No excuses, remember!

You could tell her that you've tried the roommate thing and now you want to try the alone thing. Hopefully she will understand

Well, I just sent her a text to tell her we needed to talk about it soon, and she wrote me back telling me she is probably going to live at home because of money issues. I guess my problem is solved- yay!

Thank you all so much!

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Originally Posted by nikki217

Well, I just sent her a text to tell her we needed to talk about it soon, and she wrote me back telling me she is probably going to live at home because of money issues. I guess my problem is solved- yay!

Thank you all so much!

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Well great, sounds like it worked out for you. Just be honest with people and even if they're a little hurt at the time, they'll respect your for being upfront with them.

Glad it all worked out for you :)