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-   -   He want to move in together and I want to be engaged first (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=308944)

  • Jan 26, 2009, 01:56 PM
    rogers5874
    He want to move in together and I want to be engaged first
    My boyfriend has been unofficially living with me for the last 7 months- his clothes are here and he stays every night. Recently he keeps bringing up officially living together. I have been blowing it off and changing the subject. When we first met I said I did not want to live with someone and share a home with them unless I was engaged or married. This was when we first met, now I feel awkward repeating myself. I don’t want to appear like I am giving him an ultimatum. How can I discuss this without it being intense and hopeully being positive?
  • Jan 26, 2009, 02:09 PM
    starfirefly

    Just tell him next time it comes up that you are not ready for that full of a commitment yet
  • Jan 26, 2009, 02:20 PM
    HistorianChick

    But you already are. He's been living with you for seven months.

    He sees that you already went back on your own wishes by letting him stay with you for seven months... and he thinks that he can have his cake and eat it, too.

    Why wouldn't he? You are giving him everything he wants, why should he propose?
  • Jan 26, 2009, 08:57 PM
    Jasmin88

    Hi, you are having two minds, you want to tay with him but then you are thinkign about your principles too. Anyway as you two are in love, you should be able to discu this honeslty. Tell him how you feel about thing. I think we feel a bit insecure about livign together without being engagged. Best thing is to tell him the truth but be soft and nice. Then liten to what he says. When you take a decision consider all facts
  • Jan 26, 2009, 10:14 PM
    Dare81

    Sit him down and talk to him.Tell him how you feel about him living with you. Communication is the key to a good relationship
  • Jan 26, 2009, 10:35 PM
    Wondergirl

    What's the difference between "unofficially living together" and "officially living together"?
  • Jan 26, 2009, 10:38 PM
    Dare81
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    What's the difference between "unofficially living together" and "officially living together"?

    I don't think she is comfortable with either, but she probably does not want to upset her boyfriend, hence the problem
  • Jan 27, 2009, 06:41 AM
    rogers5874
    The difference is in my own mind. UNofficially is he spends every night here and has most of his clothes here, but has his own place. Officially is his name on the mailbox, all of his stuff here and sharing of finanical responsibilities.
  • Jan 27, 2009, 06:43 AM
    neverme

    Have you said all of your last post to HIM?
  • Jan 27, 2009, 06:50 AM
    talaniman

    Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

    With all the problems your having and resolved none of them, I am surprised your still together.

    No communications, no relationship.
  • Jan 28, 2009, 07:06 PM
    shan09
    You should definitely tell him how you feel. Stick to your principles of not living together until engagement or marriage. Sounds like he's too comfortable. If he doesn't respect your answer and still wants to live together, I would make myself less available (without playing games). Therefore he won't be able to stay over every night... maybe he'll appreciate you more. What is it with guys and marriage? They act like its death.. hehe. Yet men live longer when they are in committed relationships (proven studies)
  • Jan 29, 2009, 06:37 AM
    Romefalls19

    And Tal comes in with the ever unpresent REAL details of the relationship. I agree, I'm surprised you two are still together but you need to start communicating or it's a ticking time bomb

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