Ask Me Help Desk - How can my fiance' adopt my daughter by the time we are married?

My fiance' and I just got engaged and he asked me if it was possible for him to adopt my daughter by the time we are married (Spring of 2010). Her father is not on the birth certificate because I am not 100% sure who her father is(please don't judge). The two possibilities took off when I got pregnant and so now I do not know even the first step to take for my fiance' to adopt her. Please help!

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Originally Posted by heathererin88

My fiance' and I just got engaged and he asked me if it was possible for him to adopt my daughter by the time we are married (Spring of 2010). Her father is not on the birth certificate because i am not 100% sure who her father is(please don't judge). The two possibilities took off when I got pregnant and so now I do not know even the first step to take for my fiance' to adopt her. Please help!

You would have to go to Court and provide the two names. The Court will make every attempt to contact them both so they can sign their permission for the child to be adopted. If they can't be located, the Court will order that they be served by publication - in a legally recognized newspaper. You can't just run an ad.

Hopefully they don't respond, then the adoption just goes through.

If they do respond, they would have to be tested and paternity would be established and then they either would or would not sign for the adoption.

Also in the US in most places you will have to be married for one year before you can adopt.

And a attempt to locate the father determine who he is and get him to sign over his rights have to be made.

YOu need to talk to a lawyer in your area.

While it is POSSIBLE that he can sign adoption papers on the same day that you are married (my sister's husband adopted her son as part of their "family making ceremony" erm.. their wedding), it's not PROBABLE.

The biological father still needs to sign over rights, though, and that usually has to be done through the courts.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Also in the US in most places you will have to be married for one year before you can adopt.

And a attempt to locate the father determine who he is and get him to sign over his rights have to be made.

Found out yesterday through our lawyer that in Florida (Brevard County) we can file for step parent adoption the day we get married if we so choose.

She also told us that at least here, it was possible to do without a lawyer. Seems that I am not in Kansas (or Boston) anymore, Toto.

While you can do anything without an attorney heck a murder trial, most times it is foolish on very seroius matters not to use one. Since one paper filed wrong one skip in the process can make it void latter.

And do it yoursef normally only works if the bio father will agree to sign, if they don't, it is hard to do it, with an attorney without would be almost impossibe.

Just a child custody case within a divorce, ( not the actua divorce) in GA requires a stack of papers over 2 inches tall. The filing took over 1/2 hour for the girl just to stamp the original and one copy that had t be provided

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Originally Posted by stevetcg

Found out yesterday through our lawyer that in Florida (Brevard County) we can file for step parent adoption the day we get married if we so choose.

She also told us that at least here, it was possible to do without a lawyer. Seems that I am not in Kansas (or Boston) anymore, Toto.

Steve, I know you research before you post so I'm sure you can answer this. A potential step parent can pretty much file any time. I guess Florida no longer has the "one year in a solid marriage rule?" I can't find it but I'm not doubting you.

But what about a release/Affidavit/permission/waiver (whatever it's called in your area) by the natural father? I realize the Court - under special circumstances - can waive the need for the release.

I won't give you my "would you do brain surgery on yourself" speech because I would be patronizing you - :D (You can also adopt without an Attorney in NY - and possibly every other State. The question is whether the average person has a clue and if all the "i's" are dotted and the "t's" are crossed if the natural parent shows up at some time in the future."

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Steve, I know you research before you post so I'm sure you can answer this. A potential step parent can pretty much file any time. I guess Florida no longer has the "one year in a solid marriage rule?" I can't find it but I'm not doubting you.

But what about a release/Affidavit/permission/waiver (whatever it's called in your area) by the natural father? I realize the Court - under special circumstances - can waive the need for the release.

I won't give you my "would you do brain surgery on yourself" speech because I would be patronizing you - :D (You can also adopt without an Attorney in NY - and possibly every other State. The question is whether the average person has a clue and if all the "i's" are dotted and the "t's" are crossed if the natural parent shows up at some time in the future."

We still need the release signed and notorized by the bio-donor, but he as agreed to this already. We could get it forced since his contact was severed for over 2 years now, but that is not necessary in our case. He was just thrilled to find out he wasn't going to get dinged for back support. Of course what he doesn't realize is that we know where he is now... and as soon as our part with him is done, so will his other exwife, who has been searching for him for 2 years to collect HER back support. :)

I was unable to find anywhere that spoke of the 1 year rule but our lawyer, a family law specialist with 20 years experience in this county and a woman that has adopted 2 young ones herself, assures us that there is no wait. We could get married and adopt on the same day if we so chose. Apparently the court even does all the adoptions on one day and make it nice for the families.

I wouldn't try this without a lawyer, but it was she that told us that we really don't need her help on this. She would, of course, love the business, but she says that they have simplified the process to the point of making her obsolete. She is charging us 1 1/2 hours for the whole thing.

Personally I wouldn't do it without a lawyer either. You like the brain surgery analogy. I prefer something more realistic... wiring electrical equipment. Its not that hard... mostly. You can read about it anywhere. BUt if you do it wrong, there are possibly tragic consequences.

At the end of the day though, I am sure I *could* do it myself. But this is my son we're talking about... I don't care if it costs 10 grand... its my kid. It's a small price tag!

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Originally Posted by div2wice

It should be really simple for your fiance' to adopt your daughter, however, you would need to look into your state laws when it comes to their policy on if you should be married before adopting. My sister adopted her husbands son and they needed to wait till they were married. She was able to do it online which saved lots of time and money. You can do a Missing Parent Adoption which is what she had to do as her situation was much like yours. Good Luck!

What State is your sister in? Curious where on line adoption is available.

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Originally Posted by div2wice

My sister is in Ohio. She was able to get her adoption handled without any trouble through the online service I used. (see my siggy) I do agree, every state is different. When I called them, I was skeptical to say the least, lol. But they have info on all different states and will tell you if they can help you in your state. You have to meet the state requirements and that's it.

You have posted that you also used the on line service - also in Ohio?

I have spoken with an Attorney friend in Ohio who has advised me that on line adoptions are not legal. The parties MUST appear in Court.

I think your information is incorrect.