I met my *tristan, my ex, this past February at a party through mutual friends. We went on our first date on valentine's day. I wasn't attracted to him too much in the beginning, but after the first month he began growing on me. I began falling for him in a big way. We have many mutual friends, so when we hung out we would always spend time with our big circle of mutual friends. My semester was amazing and fun. At the beginning of may he asked me if I wanted to be "exclusive" - no dating or hooking up with others. I said yes. Toward the end of may, during finals, I noticed him texting *sarah often. I was a little jealous, but turned a blind eye because things between us were good. We always had a lot of fun together and enjoyed each others' company. He was always calling. Once finals were over, I left for home (two hours away). *tristan remained in our college town to work and attend summer classes. The first few weeks away from each other were okay between us, we still talked often and had good conversations. Two and a half weeks into summer, I went to visit him at school. There was drama that night - he looked through my cell phone and got jealous of a few guys I was talking to (as FRIENDS, although he assumed otherwise). I was furious *tristan would look through my phone. So I looked through his (without his knowledge) and saw text messages from *sarah. Some were similar to things he would text me, and my heart dropped. I turned a blind eye once again, and did not bring *sarah up. Went to visit him again two weeks later. Things were OK at first but at night we fought again - he still believed I was going behind his back and dating others, and I made it worse by trying to make him jealous by telling him I HAD gone out with other guys (which was a lie). The next time I visited, I told him I had lied, however, all he focused on was the fact that I lied and not the reason WHY (reason being I wanted to see if he still cared considering he hadn't been calling me and wasn't affectionate after I drove 2 hours to see him). I wrote him a letter explaining everything - he eventually accepted my apology.
I thought things were OK but after that calls became rarer and whenever I called he was too busy to talk. My birthday passed in between and I didn't get a present (after 4 months of dating), just a text message even though his birthday was a week before and I got him a present. I was one of the last to be invited to his 4th of July party a few weeks ago, although he swears he thought I had gotten an invite, and that was the last straw for me. Over the phone, a few days after the 4th, I told him that someone had privately told me at his party that they thought he was talking to someone else - that person being *sarah. We had an hour long talk. He told me that he had gone to dinner and had hung out with *sarah a couple times this summer. He said he wasn't sure if he had feelings for her or not. I accused him of cheating, but he said he didn't try to hide *sarah from me and that he didn't think she was a big deal to me until I mentioned it. He said that he liked the way things were when he and I first started dating. He told me he cares for me and still wants to be with me, but wants to have the freedom to date others and told me I could date others too. I then suggested breaking up for the remainder of the summer and then starting things back up in the fall. He said if we started things between us again this fall, we'd have to start from the beginning. He said he doesn't know what things will be like in the fall, so he's not sure. I also asked him if he honestly still believes that I cheated on him sometime during our relationship and he said yes (and I have no clue why because I would NEVER.. it really hurts me that he believes I would do something like that).
I used to be the girl who thought she could never get hurt, never get attached, yet here I am... heartbroken (the first time I've ever felt like this) and sprung. I miss the good guy who cared... the one I was dating during the school year. The one who didn't want me to be with other people. I don't know what happened... was it the distance? Me? *sarah? All summer ALL I've wanted was for it to be fall so we could see each other regularly again at school and continue our relationship. I don't know what to do. We broke up a week ago and he hasn't called even though he said he would. I know I should leave him be, but I'm scared that if I don't contact him at all that he will forget about me and completely move onto *sarah. I want to win him back so badly... what do I do? How can I make him interested in me again?
