Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend says she loves me but she likes somebody else.

My Girlfriend of 5 months says she loves me and she text me today saying "we need to talk", I said "about wat baby wats wrong", "i like sombody else", I was asking why what did I do wrong and she said "nothing i'm just 16 idk what i want", I am really hurt by this because on our 1st date I broke my arm and had to have surgery, And now in a few weeks I have to have another not because of my arm though, but I do everything for her I and always try to help her, I put her before myself I love with all my heart no matter what people say about my young age I know its love because I can't stop thinking about her. I have had my heart broken twice before and having this done to me tops those because this was my worst fear was her finding someone else,but she said she's not breaking up with me (yet) because we haven't went out or hung out in maybe 3weeks maybe more because she had driving school. I want to be with her so bad and she has said she doesn't know what she wants numerous times but this one envolves her liking someone else, I'm tired of begging for her to stay I love her with everything and just want her happy,I just don't know what to do. So its wednsday now and I told her to make up her mind by Friday or I'M leaving and that's very rare because I'm the clingy type. I feel like kiling myself but I can't take the easy way out, I just don't know what ill do without her I need help.=(

Don kill yourself over a female, and I already know how they take over our minds.

But for real, if you relax, and let up a little, you'll find out that there is another female out there, to blow your mind.

It's a never ending story, so get use to dealing with your own feelings, so you can deal with them.

Just between me, and you, don't be a slave to love, my man, and don't depend on them to have a happy life, so drop the clingy and enjoy other things you like, not just the females.

I so agree with talaniman! Do not kill yourself over her. She is not worth your life!

And yes I know we women have our ways, but still... there are other females out there that will love and appreciate you as you love and appreciate them

Even though it might seem like it now... you will get over her and you will find other people who like and enjoy your company! Keep in there!

Kill yourself? Really? Do you honestly think she is worth YOUR life? Put it in that respect man! You know you are good enough to get her, and the two other girls that broke your heart (I doubt that to be the case, as that you are extremely young to have your heart broken that much already). If you know you are good enough to get those girls, you should know you are good enough WITHOUT them.

It sucks right now because your emotions are running your life. Don't let that be the case. The stable people think things through, and don't act on emotions. We know it is hard, but you are very young and have SO much to live for. You seem like you need to have some girl in your life to validate your goodness and make you feel self confident. Quit dating, quit talking to girls, and start working on your own self confidence issues. Until you learn to love yourself, you will continue to have your heart broken.

My previous question led to this, I love her with all my heart and always will and I know she is the one, well was at least, because I accidentally broke up with her and I broke my heart right there. I have tried to talk to her and I told her ill give her all the time she needs, but this whole thing was my fault because I smotherd her I didn't want to or realized I was doing it. This happened at school and right after I couldn't help buy cry my eyes out but I spent 2bells talking with the dean and the conseler and they herd my whole story and said it seemed like the right thing. Why is the right thing always the wrong thing in your heart. Why do girls say they want a nice guy and then they date heads, I was raised to treat women properly and do everything for them and it gets called smothering. I thought that we would last forever because I found someone to date me because of me, and I fell in love with her. Why can't someone just do what they say they would do, my heart is very hurt and I caused it because of me and not thinking. I knew this was going to happen because everything that goes good for me leaves, why am I so gullible why can't someone love me the same way I love them:.(

Because she was not the one for you, that's why she didn't love you like you loved her. You will know when the right person comes along.

It nots good to think of the decisions you made in a failed relationship, because even if you did things different, chances are the same thing would have happen eventually. The best thing is to move forward, accept that it's over, and meet new women.

Use the knowledge you gained about yourself and women in your new, possibly better relationship.

You're not gullible, you just cared a lot more about her and she didn't feel the same way. You will find someone who cares about you like you do about them. Trust Me.

Trust me, I was raised like you were, to treat a woman with respect and take care of her, but these days, there are a lot of women out there who don't want that. They want to do things on their own and take care of themselves, which is fine, but that just means they are not the type of women for us.

Eventually, over time, if God permits, we will meet the woman we were made to be with, the woman who loves us as we are and who were brought up the way we were, and they won't see our actions as smothering, but as love. We do things for our woman because we love them and one day, you will find a woman who sees that.

I've been where you are and I know it is hard, but this pain will pass and you will be happy when you find the real woman you were meant to be with. Don't believe what you think in your head, but trust in what God tells your heart.

Take care and all the best. Peace

There will be others just give yourself time to heal, dude.

We have all been there, so your not the only one to know misery and pain.

Hey Bengals there was a Post about where all the nice guys have gone and I posted this. Maybe reading it will put a smile on your face or maybe not. But I was am a nice guy and I am engaged so we don't always finish last.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post1114859

Just tell her you love her. And tell her you will try to cool down. If not there's a lot offish in the sea. Girls like guys like you I know I would. :cool: :) :o :( :) :eek: haha your so sweet!!

I show her everyday that I love her by doing everything for her yet when I want my time she says I don't love her enough. I just want to know but it doesn't really matter I accidentally broke up with her and I just want to jump out of my body and beat the crap out of myself, because she said yesterday that she likes someone else, and I pushed her because I smothered her :.( I can't stand this I love her with all of my heart and I want to be with her but I know she won't take me back. I feel like dying it hurts so bad because she was the one person to ever say I love you back and I thought it meant something but obviously I'm to nice and to giving because every girl says they want a nice guy but who do they date jerks and I was raised to treat women with respect and I do everything to gain her love. Is there anybody that really loves me :.( I want to be loved back the same way I love them is that to mmuch to ask :.( I can't stop crying and thinking how all those times I spent with her are gone, and every time those thoughts that I lost her I just want to die. I guess I'm meant to die alone :.(

Hey there :)

First of all. No one loves each other the same way.. OK.. we all have different ways of showing LOVE. Simple fact

But you can find a real nice balance with your partner.
And most of the time if you are REALLY needy.. there is no way someone can give that back.. because it just push them away

Yeah everyone wants a nice guy.. but no one wants a needy guy.

That's what most of us get mixed up with.. when we are new to dating and relationships..
This is a good lesson for you.

You will find more girls that will say I love you back trust me on that one ;)

Right now you are hurting.. its normal but don't let effect your life..
Get out there and be strong!
Work on yourself.
And move on

Its over with you and that girl..

Now take the lessons you learnt from this relationship.

Stop being so needy and insecuer. We have all been there at one point in time.

And you are loved. I'm sure your family loves you so you have love..

And stop with the dramatic I'm meant to die alone CRAP!. pleaseeee. That is just the most moronic thing to say.. if you talked like that round you girl. No wonder she left you mate.
You have to be STRONG and self CONFIDANT.. this will come in time.
Get over your issues and you're the only one in the world hurting
Because that is just.. B.S big time.

If you fall down.. you don't lie on the ground do you?
No you get UP!
Pull yourself back up and get out there!

Well from what you said in the story u really care about her,and it also seems like she's just a tease.shes not the right one ,but the truth is that there is a 80% chance that you`ll find someone just right for you | if you look|

Dude you don't need to post this question like 80 million times. OK

Easy buddy, we all know how tough it is to lose some one. Give yourself some time, and when your through crying, heal, and regroup.

Stick with one post please bud, its less confusing.

Dude, I know losing a girl sucks but she's one person. She is not more important than your own life. I think part of your problem is you put her on a pedestal. She's not above you, she's a human being who bleeds just like anybody else. Damn it... I was going to answer this without a proper Chuffing... but you've earned it...

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

i show her everyday that i love her by doing everything for her

You don't do everything for a woman. They are grown adults and can do for themselves. Furthermore, when you do everything for her, then she is just going to use and never appreciate when you do just one thing for her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

yet when i want my time she says i dont love her enough.

So on top of using you for everything she can get from you, she gives you a guilt trip to control your emotions and behavior.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

i just want to know but it doesnt really matter i accidentaly broke up with her and i just want to jump out of my body and beat the crap out of myself,

Dude, punishing yourself and saying stuff like this to further bring yourself down is not helping you and is the exact opposite of what women want. What exactly would beating yourself even do for you? You are beating yourself up emotionally and now is when you should be building yourself up, not keeping yourself down. No matter what she thinks, you should think you deserve better then this... and quite honestly I think you deserve better then this. So why not give yourself some credit, and admit you deserve better then her, and better then how you are treating yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

bc she said yesterday that she likes someone else, and i pushed her bc i smothered her :.(

So she's lying. Before she said you didn't love her enough when you wanted time AWAY from her, then she says you smothered her. She's lying and she's controlling you through emotions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

i can't stand this i love her with all of my herat and i want to be with her but i know she wont take me back.

This woman is not who you've made her out to be. She's controlling, manipulative, and a liar. Start accepting some of the negative traits this woman has.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

i feel like dying it hurts so bad

Yes it hurts. But the pain and confusion will go away and soon emotional clearing comes back into the picture.

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Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

bc she was the one person to ever say i love you

I know I felt like after I got dumped by my first girl that I was saying the same nonsense to myself... and guess what a few more have said it to me since. The first to say it doesn't mean it will be the last. Furthermore, those words don't mean much if they aren't backed up with action, and I don't see much action behind those words from her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

back and i thought it meant something but obviously i'm to nice and to giving bc every girl says they want a nice guy but who do they date jerks and i was raised to treat women with respect and i do everything to gain her love.

Trust me, if you could know how I understand what your talking about, this is it. I'm a struggling nice guy myself and was even burned yet again earlier this year after thinking I had this thing fixed, but as long as I live, I'm not a quitter and neither are you. You got burned. Big deal, it happens to everybody, it's not the end of the world.

In the future, never, ever give a woman every thing... you should be giving only up to 50% anything more you need to back off. Also, you don't have to do a damn thing to gain a woman's love. When you go so far as to gain love you pulling from a reserve of your own self respect and self love that you give away and never get anything in return.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

is there anybody that really loves me :.(

You don't need anybody else. You need to start loving yourself, and when you start to appreciate that you are good enough for yourself, girls will know you are good enough for them. Think about it, a girl doesn't want a guy who hates himself to the point he asks if anybody loves him, because no woman wants to give her love for pity love in return. You have to start to appreciate yourself and other's will follow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

i want to be loved back the same way i love them is that to mmuch to ask :.(

It's not too much to ask, but you can never know what a woman is feeling. You only control yourself, so love that person before all others. Second, if a woman doesn't love you back like you do her, get rid of her. This woman didn't love you back like you did her. She used your time, then gave you guilt trips, you didn't love her the same way she loved you so don't give her the credit like she did.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bengalsguy10

i can't stop crying and thinking how all those times i spent with her are gone, and everytime those thoughts that i lost her i just want to die. i guess i'm meant to die alone :.(

There are 3 billion women out there, and with the exception of my exs they are better then you ex so don't give her the credit she doesn't deserve. Also, you have to change your attitude, no woman wants a guy that is a quitter or beats himself up and says he is meant to be alone. You get whatyou focus on, and if you keep telling yourself that, that's what your brain is going to give you. You have too much to offer to let one woman ruin your existence. The pain is temporary, but the change you can make for yourself can last a lifetime. Take this new found time to learn about yourself, and learn to be happy with who you are and what you have to offer.

Chuff!
Geez, every time I give you a greenie, I run across a masterpiece by you, and have to spread the rep.

This is one of your bests, and its dead on the money.

So let me get this straight, you and this girl broke up but she already likes someone else? Maybe the fact that you accidentally broke up with her is a good thing. I wouldn't want to be with someone that had feelings for someone else. How long were you two together?

Maybe you should try to get a plant or pet to take care of for a while. Being alone is quite therapeutic. Reconnect with your friends and enjoy life. Love needs balance, it's a two way street. If you always give, and get nothing in return, then you will be empty when that person leaves. Right now you sound like you lost everything and you need to fill a void... and like a vacuum, I sure don't want to be around to get sucked into that black hole.