Divorced - he's dating why do I care?
Hi,
I was in a very unhealthy marriage for 15 years. MY ex was very controlling, what I wore, who I saw, etc. He was not physically abusive. Finally after 15 years and one huge argument where he shoved me - I filed for divorce. THe kids and I went to therapy to work things out - I have three kids under 12. To make a very long story short, he was ordered to attend anger management classes and he continues to do this 18 months later.
He didn't see the children for awhile, but has recently started to see them, which is wonderful for everyone. He is much calmer now, and is really trying to be a father to them - although he is not at the point that he can attend any baseball/soccer games or school functions. The kids are very well adjusted with things, the house is much calmer without him living here. About 8 months ago, I met a wonderful, gentle kind man and recently introduced the kids to him and it was pretty seemless which is a great thing. I don't have him around the kids all the time, but about once a month we all go and do something fun together. I am taking my time to adjust to who I am and how my life is going and the kids seem to really like him.
Anyway, my ex met a woman 4 weeks ago and she is around the kids all the time. Why do I care? I don't know, but I am jealous for some reason. I even asked him if he wanted to have coffee with me to see if perhaps we can talk. This is a man I feared and hated, and yet here I am thinking maybe life would be better now. It would be financially, but in my heart I know that I don't love him. Why then do I feel this urge to have him back? I wanted him to meet a great lady for so long and now that he has one, I feel lost. ANd I am dating a wonderful man so all of this makes no sense at all. Lol!
Can you perhaps shed some insight into what is going on inside this crazy brain of mine?
Thank you.
Marie