How do I tell a child they have to leave with their father and not break their heart.
I have posted once before about my nice living with me. It has been almost two months since she moved in and things are really going pretty good. We have been working on her ability to play with others and not throw fits. She's never played games before, of any type. It is coming along really well, she gets along with the kids and she plays sports which is all helping her at school. She didn't get in trouble at all this week, which is a humongous improvement from the prior weeks. The only real problem that I have is that her dad never calls her. Never talks to her unless he's paying me, he does do that. He goes weeks without picking her up at all. Then when he does he'll just show up and say "Are you ready to go?". She never wants to go. Cries and throws fits. Holds on to me and my daughter not wanting to leave. She told me that if she got in trouble she wouldn't be allowed to come back. These are not fake tears, she is six years old. It breaks my heart to tell her she has to go. I have only minimal rights at best to put her in school and take her to the doctor. I do consider her mine, we've been there for her her whole life, she knows we are the Aunt and Uncle but she calls us her Mom and Dad when talking to anyone else. I also have an issue with her dads wife. She told her the last time that she went to stay the weekend that she doesn't live with us. She only stays there so she can go to school. I can not see the point in telling her this as she is constantly at our house. She has her own bed, own stuff. She sleeps there, goes to school there, does her homework there, we do all of the daily routine for her with NO help at all from them. When she comes back from her dads she has a horrible attitude and it takes days to work out the 'kinks'. My real question is how do parents look into their children's tear filled eyes and tell them that they have to leave with their other parent(s)? This is truly breaking my heart because I can not prove that he is unfit. By technicalities, he has a house, job, sufficient pay, a wife, he doesn't beat either of them. But when it comes to her they do not provide the mental and emotional support that she needs. She plays by herself constantly and only gets attention when reprimanded. Even when she does something good (like a week at school without getting in trouble) all he says it well that's good. No emotion is shown at all. He doesn't tell her bye when he leaves or give her a hug, nothing. The worst part about it is that she is used to it. She knows that he doesn't love her, she will tell you that. :confused: