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-   -   How to deal with the confusion of a "break" (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=248719)

  • Aug 13, 2008, 09:03 PM
    everlastingman
    How to deal with the confusion of a "break"
    Hi everyone,

    I'm a newb here and I have a question concerning a relationship/friendship I'm in. I recently broke off a long term relationship (5 yrs) and found myself extremely attracted to one of my close friends. It wasn't really intentional on either party's side that this attraction/relationship was going to develop between me and the new girl (not my ex). However, we had an incredible friendship that developed into a romantic relationship. This occurred about a month after my long term relationship had ended.

    Over the past few months we both decided that we shouldn't speak to each other over the summer, it's been a while now with no contact and I've done what the forums here have said (changed for the better, rediscovered who I am etc... which has included becoming sharp spiritually, mentally and physically). However, with the start of school coming up I'm going to be seeing this girl again and I'm not sure if I should contact her before she comes back for school or if I should just "run" into her. I would love to be with her but I know just because I want to be with her does not mean the inverse.

    Am I rushing things?

    Should I just wait for the day I see her?

    Sincerely,
    Everlasting Man
  • Aug 14, 2008, 09:41 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Am I rushing things?
    Yes. How long have you been broken up? If she knows your history, what makes you think she wants to be a rebound after a long relationship, just because all of a sudden YOUR attracted????

    If she has any common sense, she will let you down gently, or be insulted. Give her the benefit of the common sense and takes some more time for yourself, if you value her friendship.
  • Aug 14, 2008, 10:08 AM
    HighandDryinnNy
    She was your rebound
    They never work out
    You needed someone to remind you that you still got it, close friends usually fill that gap
    You kind of messed up your friendship by hooking up, she probably feels the same
    My advice is to enjoy school, if you bump into her say hi and keep it moving
    She will let you know where she stands by contacting you

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