I just ruined my friendship,and I want it back,what do I do?
In school I got sat next to this guy in one of my classes,normally I'm known as a greebo freak.and normally people don't like me.he seemed one of the popular sort,but he was real nice.ever since we have been good friends,until I started to have strong feelings for him... now I've just got annoying because I was always after his attention.then I found out he had feeling for some other girl.which really broke my heart.he even let me talk to her online,I was okay for a while but I lost it,I told 3 friends about him and this girl. (now I really wish I hadnt) I said I was sorry and he was all like.. he forgave me and everything.not long after I ended up hitting him in the face because he kept getting in my face and stuff,we've always been play fighting and stuff but this time I just lost it big time.so again he didn't talk to me again.then he forgave me again.and we were fine for ages.all of a sudden he turns around and says he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.so I wanted to know why,so I kept asking (like I'm sure most people would do)And he told me he hasnst liked me for awhile now.which ,means he didn't really forgive me... I thought I was doing so well too.I know I've had really bad temper and attitude problems in the past but.. now I just lost my friend and the one person I really care about.im lucky if I get a hi.and when the girl he likess talks to me about it ,it feels like I'm some sort of child.I just don't seem to understand what's actually going on.they say I feel sorry for myself.all I wanted was him. I just want us to be laughing again.but he doesn't even look at me.. and his best friend calls me a "dirty B*tch" or "dirty greebo" when he see's me... I have thought about doing stupid stuff.but I have friends who need me right now.so I won't go that extreame.he told me he wanted me to leave him alone.and he'll decide if he wants to talk to me... when he wants to talk to me. Could be 2 months.. could be next year.could be never.I did apologize like.. a thousand times.but its not enough.im staying away from him like he asked.but its killing me.I can't seem to have fun anymore.