Grandmother needs legal options regarding grandchild
I live in TN. I have a 3 yr. old grandson whom I've taken care of since he was 4 weeks old. His parent(s) lived with me also until the mother died a year and a half ago from a drug overdose, upstairs in the bathtub with the child in the tub with her and was not found for 3 hrs. My son is the father, more like a sperm donor, he's not Dad material.
Five months after the mother died, my son, whom is 23 now moved in with a 19 yr. old girl that has also has a child. She then got pregnant, my son found out by DNA test that the baby is NOT his, but continues to live with her. This girl doesn't want to be around my 3 yr. old grandson, so he's not allowed to go to "their" place, yet she wants my son to be around "her" kids. He has been coming to "VISIT" his 3 yr. old son here at my house for the last year since he moved out. Now because the girlfriend can't handle taking care of 2 kids (she is 19) she wants him there at "their" house to help her. I suggested birth control.
So now my Son says he's only going to come VISIT his 3 yr. old son every other day and only 1 day on weekends. He didn't ASK, he TOLD me. He has NEVER provided any money, clothes or food for this child. Even when the Mom was alive, he was left with me 90% of the time. I told my son he needs to take responsibility for his child and step up to the plate. I told him his little boy needs him now more than ever since his Mom is dead. So basically the little boy lost his Mom 2/07 and his dad moved out and left him 7/07. He was only 23 months old at the time. This has to affect him emotionally. Now he's going to be only coming 2 hrs. 2 days a week and once on weekend. I told him no, that he was to come everyday, he said NO, I'll be back in a couple of days......and every other day from here on out. THIS ISN'T RIGHT.
I told him to either be a responsible parent or sign custody of him over to me. As it is, I have no legal rights to this child, but yet I'm taking care of him 24/7 (with the exception of his 2 hr. visits), providing all his food, clothes, and everything else he needs. He won't give me any money or come watch his child for a couple of hours. If this was a daycare, they would call child services on him. I told him I wanted custody if he refuses to take responsibility for his child and he threatened to kill me (blow my brains out), but yet he won't take care of him. My husband tried talking to him when he was leaving one night and my husband told him to stop using vulgar language in front of the child and he turned around and threw a can and hit my husband in the face, blood went everywhere and he had to go to the emergency room and get 10 stitches above and below his eye. He didn't call the police because it was my son.
I have one problem and my son blackmails me with it. I have a warrant out on me in another state for assault on my brother (he attacked me and I hit back in self defense), I was back home before I found out he called the police and took out a warrant and was shocked since he hit me several times first. I don't have the money to go to court, but make too much for court appointed attorney... so I just stay out of that state. WILL THAT PREVENT ME FROM GETTING CUSTODY here in my home state if he tells the court I have a warrant out on me in another state? To make it go away without spending $20,000 attorney fees to fight it (which I don't have), I would have to plead guilty and spend $5,000. Attorney fees plus fines and end up with a criminal record. After that, I have no faith in the judicial system. That's why it hasn't been dealt with. I've never even so much as had a traffic ticket... always been an upstanding law biding citizen, what happened was a family argument after my dad died, my brother's way of keeping me out of state so I can't challenge him in court over my dad's estate. Will it affect my chances of getting custody of my grandchild if he tells the court, which I'm sure he will?
If I can't get custody, what am I suppose to do? How can someone just leave their child and expect someone else to raise it, take on all the financial responsibilities and go about their merry life. I love this little boy, he's been through way more than he should ever have had to already in his short life of 3 yrs. My son is a pathological liar, irresponsible, selfish, neglectful person. Thank God my other 2 children are great parents and turned out great. Isn't there a law that can make him provide for this child's care? Or make him come take care of his child a couple of hours everyday? If not... what are my legal options? HELP!