I think that you should start dating only when you feel ready. There is a time to grieve, but we must also move on at some time. Also if you have kids, you should make sure that they are doing all right

Im so very sorry for your loss.
I don't think your friends mean anything but good by giving you such advice but if you aren't ready to date yet, don't!

I think they just want to see you in a place of love and happiness with someone again and that's what a good friend would want but you control the pace of this healing process and if you aren't ready to share yourself that's perfectly OK.
I hope that you do find some joy and comfort in other things so that you aren't consumed by the grief... I don't know how you feel but I hope you can hold on to these words:

"... joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed."

*Best Wishes*