I'm considering a separation from my wife of 11 years due to a variety of reasons. I'm likely going to take a job somewhere outside the metro area we live in.

What do I need to be concerned about?

We have two kids and a shared house for which we're both listed on the mortgage. She can have the house and I'm willing to do split custody for the kids.

What do you have to worry about, joint custody of the kids, she may go for full custody with you limited visits. You being stuck with paying for the house. Or if she takes the house, she can't pay and they come after you anyway, the divorce agreement does not stop collection.

So large alimony paymnets, large child support payments and limited visits, would be my worries.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

what do you have to worry about, joint custody of the kids, she may go for full custody with you limited visits. You being stuck with paying for the house. Or if she takes the house, she can't pay and they come after you anyway, the divorce agreement does not stop collection.

So large alimony paymnets, large child support payments and limited visits, would be my worries.

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The house is what worries me the most.

The reason I'm getting away from her is her financial mismanagement. She's been secretly squandering money for the past few years... to the tune of racking up a huge unpaid credit card balance. I can't be tied to this kind of thing... and, thankfully, I'm not tied to the balance she owes.

The biggest issue for me is that I can't trust her to pay her own bills.

She won't contest the kids... and she claims she needs only what amounts to 40% of my salary to live on. I can handle that... my costs drop dramatically when she's out of the picture.

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Originally Posted by STG

...she claims she needs only what amounts to 40% of my salary to live on. I can handle that...my costs drop dramatically when she's out of the picture.

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Sounds like alimony and child support. Want to read up on it? Spousal Support - Spousal Maintenance - Alimony

Most divorces that I have heard of where the wife was getting the house the Judge ordered that the house be switched to their name (only) within a specific amount of time and they be responsible for the payments. Seems like there should be some way you can legally get piece of mind that she will not leave the house payments go. Maybe something like telling the Judge your concern and requesting that a mandatory electronic withdraw from her checking account be made to the mortgage company. Maybe requesting that a responsible family member of hers be made power of attorney? There should be some solution for the best interest of the children. Other than seeing if the Judge is willing or able to do something like that, she is free to do whatever with the money. I see many women wasting away the child support. Then crying to everybody they can't afford anything for their kids. There really isn't anything that can be done about that.