NC WORKED! Were back together!
UPDATE!! 2 hours later after cutting her out of my life so I could heal, she calls and starts sending text messages about how I really don't seem like I lost the love of my life and how my ex was more important because I chased after her and she thought I was just letting go of what we had. I was visiting my grandpa at the time in the nursing home so I just ignored it, I called her back when I left and she was crying and telling me that she broke with me because of me and that I was being immature for cutting her out of my life, I calmed her down, assured her that I was just trying to respect her and give her what she wanted and she continued to call me manipulative and the like. So basically in the end of it I kept a cool composure and ensured her I loved her very much and if she wanted me back that I was ready for her and I would not be a jerk like I have been. She had to go but said we need to talk about this later. With this said I quickly questioned what later meant, a week, a day, whatever she needed... I got told text me later if you want, and I told her ill be busy watching a movie and for her to text me when she has the time. I come home to messages (sent before she called me) about how now she knows the real me now and that I better enjoy going out and screwing whoever.. and if I loved her so much how could I give up on her so easily this was Friday...
Saturday we talked about she was still hesitant and didn't want to see me or anything of that nature. We had an awesome conversation for like 2 hours but I kept telling myself that it was awesome only because it was what I wanted. I didn't talk to her the rest of the night, because I was drinking and I didn't want to say anything I didn't mean or anything to pressure her or piss her off. I wrote her a letter and told her I cannot be in her life as only a friend because it I told her everything I felt and that if she still felt that she didn't want to be with me or se me that is the case. I didn't message her in the morning or anything and we just got back together!!
Basically, The minute she felt how it was without me in her life, and feeling that I wasn't there anymore and I had cut her out of my life when all she wanted was a break.
We just got back together and she still wants me to go see her for her graduation and explained to me how hard it was telling me she didn't want me there. Im posting this because I never gave up hope, and it worked because I went about it the right way, and thanks to everyone for being cool and helping me through one of the hardest times cause I know that everyone if not all are going through the same thing right now. You never know what the future entails and never lose hope.
Feeling awesome right now :)