Totally lost of what to do with son 16
HI
This is my first post, apart from my introduction, so here goes, ith a bit of back ground history.
My ex husband and I divorced 13 years ago and our son, aged 6 at the time decided he wanted to live with his dad, after much soul searching I let him go,(son was diagnosed being of high iq at this stage) so he understood the implications of him moving out.
He came to visit me and his sister monthly and over the next 8 years he behaved very badly, was rude to people, unable to take him anywhere as he would run off. I spent many nights crying when he went back to his fathers as he told me constantly he hated me and his sister. But I still tried on his weekends with us. (I couldn't leave the kids in a room on their own as I feared he would hurt her again)
Tried to persuade ex to get him tested as I thought, and still do think he has a strain of austisim but he refused.
So, 2 years a go son asks to come live with me,after being away 8 years, my hubby and sister stating that he wants to be part of a family again. We all spoke about it and decided that yes he could.
Well, its been the bigest mistake of out entire life!!
All he wants to do is sit in front of a computer, he never washes unless we actually tell him get in the shower, we have taken the PC away as he spent 20hours a day on it, but this has not improved him socially at all he never comes out of his room unless to eat or go to school! He is 16 and half years old and has o hobbies, no friends zilch! And he doesn't care. He will not go get a Saturday job as dosen;t think he should work and he says he doesn't need any money. We have tried so hard to get him interested in all sorts of hobbies but lasts 20 seconds and he just walks off.
So, basically I have a son who sits upstairs nearly 24 hours aday, unless he is at school, doing nothing and its been nearly 2 years and we are at the end of our tethers, to the point we want him back to his dads as soon as he has finished his exams, but daddy doesn't eant him either.
He has systamatically broken every applicance in the house in the time he has been here, cost us a small fortune, is now working on braking our neighbours property.
He thinks he is okay, and too be honest we just don't know what the heck to do as NOTHING is getting through to him what do we do??