My marriage is falling apart & I am not sure what to do anymore- I am so confused. We have been together (on & off) for 15 years- married for 4 years and have a beautiful wonderful son. I think our son is the only bond that is left in our marriage. We are both unhappy- he claims that he loves me deeply but his actions say something completely different. He goes out alot- stays out late. He spends money which makes it difficult to pay bills. In fact- we are delinquent on lots of things. When it was his responsibility to pay our bills - he didn't. I don't know what happened to our money but I am now in collection with my cc. We were behind in house payments & medical bills/daycare didn't even get paid. I finally had to take it over again but then he just spends, spends, spends. He took part of our house apart 9 months ago- its still in shambles despite the effort of his friends to pull it together. And the money my mother gave us to fix it up- don't know where that went either. Its not drugs- he is just very social. Likes to drink and has champagne taste. He doesn't listen to me - he doesn't even hear me - he doesn't even involve me in social activities that he does. Its almost as if I don't even exist. I really need to know if this is worth it- am I reading his actions correctly that there is no love?? This is a bad role model for my son, isn't it? I think I am just afraid to go- that I am dragging my feet but I am not sure if my hesitation is based on faith that it could work. Meanwhile- I am so exhausted from working 3 jobs & trying to balance all of this that I don't even have the energy to really make an effort- and I feel like he should be the one making the effort to start with?
Help. I've never been so tired and at a loss.