It has been awhile since my last post and needless to say things have not changed much. I am little bit concerned because I love my husband but am unsure about the outcome of our marriage, we are still no closer to being on the same page and new things have come to my attention that I am really not that happy about. How do I get through to someone who thinks the only thing people want to do to him is hurt or leave him? And when is enough really enough? He asked me to be honest and when I did he was hurt and I felt guilty for being honest. What do I do?

You have nothing to lose by being honest, really, you don't. I trust you weren't mean or vindictive when you opened up to him, so if he can't handle it, well... you two were already not doing well, so now at least he has more insight as to why.

You really need to be working on setting up your life for success. Once you know you're secure in your own situation, you two are free to pursue whatever your next step will be... either counseling or official divorce.

Thanks, no I was not mean. I just answered his questions. I asked him about seeing a professional and that was a no go.

When you get your answer... maybe I'll get mine... it's so hard to be completely honest with each other... someone will get hurt... but not letting it out is not fair to you... we only have one life on earth... and being unhappy should Not fit into our destiny... so... take a good look at yourself. And ponder.. what you can do to make your life better... and maybe, then you'll know whether to love or leave

This is way beyond the point of being honest, its time to go. You will not succeed with him in your life. Making the effort is commendable, but futile, as you have proven to yourself, so the time for talk is long past. Time to go, and rebuild yourself without him. Can't get worse can it?