TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS REVISED 2008 SCHEDULE


January
15 vs. Bloomington Jr. High School Girls
22 vs. Cub Scout Troop #101
29 vs. CNIB Senior Team

February
5 vs. Spanish-American War Vets
12 vs. Crippled Children's Hospital
19 vs. St. Cloud Home for Wayward Girls
26 vs. Girl Scout Troop #69

March
5 vs. Ontario VD Clinic Post #3
12 vs. Church Street Boy's Choir
19 vs. Korean War Amputees
26 vs. VA Hospital Polio Patients

Special Monday Night Game:
March 3 vs. Utopia Gay Boys

Name Change:
The Toronto Maple Leafs will be changed to the Toronto Tampons' as they are only good for one period, and they don't have a second string.

Coaching Change:
Paul Maurice will be replaced by Pamela Anderson. No doubt she will blow a few, but she won't choke up on the BIG ONE.

Rule Changes:
1. When playing the Girl Scouts, the Leafs must not eat their cookies.
2. The Leafs will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time during the game.
3. When playing the Polio Patients, the Leafs must not disconnect any of the leg braces.
4. There will be no more dancing with opposing teams, like the last time they played the Utopia Gay Boys.
5. The Leafs MUST PROMISE to remember that when the referee drops the puck, this signals the beginning of play. This is to ensure that no more time will be wasted while the Leafs try to figure out what just happened.
6. The Leafs must also stop tangling the crippled children in the net mesh.

LOL! clever!