Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Dating (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=374)
-   -   How to tell him STOP! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=175098)

  • Jan 21, 2008, 07:41 PM
    Blue Eyed Girl
    How to tell him STOP!
    If u really like a guy and they try to make move on u
    And u may lik eit but it startes getting out of hand and
    U tell him to stop and he gets mad how do u make him feel
    Better
  • Jan 21, 2008, 07:51 PM
    Saraah
    If you really like Him and He goes to far then you are doing the right thing. But If he's getting Angry at you Maybe you should try talking to him. Just say Hey I like you a lot I just don't feel comfortable with what your doing and I need time. If he gets more angry at you then Hunni Hes not worth it. Because then he sounds like the kind of person who's going to force you into doing something you don't want to do. I don't know if you're a virgin Because you haven't said anything But its your body. So Its your choice not his. Hope this kind of helps. I not the greatest at this. I just read it and thought id put my two cents in. Cya and Good luck :D Just remember its your body.
  • Jan 21, 2008, 08:02 PM
    KalFour
    In cases like these, it's best not to worry about making him feel better. Just tell him that you're not ready, or that it's going too fast. If he can't deal with that (especially if he gets angry or abusive) he's not worth the effort and you should just stay away from him.
    You should always be able to tell people to stop. If he doesn't, threaten him with the police.
    Your body is yours, nobody has the right to do anyhting to you that you odn't want.

    Kal
  • Jan 21, 2008, 08:42 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    You don't worry if he gets mad, if he does, that means he is not mature and it also really means he did not actually like you, but only wanted you so that he can go "too far"

    If he really cares for you, he will not be mad and will understand and he will be sorry.

    If he does not want to take no as an asnwer, make it take it, and don't see him again.
  • Jan 22, 2008, 12:21 PM
    HistorianChick
    Honey, you DON'T worry if he "feels bad." If you don't want it, you tell him to stop. Case closed.

    (Sadly, and I'm not saying this guy is like this, but sadly, some guys pretend that they are hurt simply to make you feel bad for them and make you do something that you don't want to do. Guys like this are not worth your time or your affections.)

    So, "how do you say STOP?" Simple. "Stop."
  • Jan 27, 2008, 10:54 AM
    PrttyBrownEyez21
    Don't worry if he gets mad,like everybody before me has said its your body and its your decision.so tell him how you feel and if he gets mad then he's probably not worth your time.
  • Jan 27, 2008, 02:22 PM
    kiki1314
    Say sorry but u do need to stop. It is getting to out of hand
  • Jan 27, 2008, 02:28 PM
    wolfcandy2
    If the guy can't take stop for an answer then he's too immature to be with youand he's insecure
  • Jan 27, 2008, 02:31 PM
    ScottGem
    I just want to reinfroce what some others have said. YOU should not be trying to make HIM feel better. HE should be trying to make YOU feel better about going to far forcing you to say stop. Any boy worth going out with knows that when a girl says stop you stop. He should then apologize for rushing you.
  • Jan 27, 2008, 03:32 PM
    friend4u178
    I agree with ScottGem , he is the one who should be apologising. If you say STOP he needs to know that's what you mean , and if he doesn't that constitutes rape , don't let it get that far.
  • Jan 27, 2008, 03:34 PM
    wolfcandy2
    No is No not No means Yes,anything else is rape
  • Jan 27, 2008, 05:58 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Reconsider the situations you allow yourself to get into with him at all. Sometime when you are in a public place, talk to him about this stuff. Tell him you want a firm agreed upon boundary about how far you will go with him while dating and request him to agree and acknowledge that he understands the boundaries.

    In general, guys desire for sexual interaction comes from a different place than it does for girls. He wants it a lot sooner "just because" and that's natural, but you want it because it is an intimacy step. So if/when it happens you are each at that point for very different reasons. Keeping intimacy in check longer is actually a good thing for establishing a real lasting relationship. Guys that really aren't serious won't stick around long with it, and that's good for you in the long run.

    Intimacy is so often treated as a natural "next step" in dating and that ends badly 95% of the time. That's too bad. If a relationship isn't going to last for whatever reason, wouldn't it be awesome if all the embarrassing intimate stuff weren't there, too, as extra baggage?

    Make sure the dates and situations you are in with him MATCH the boundaries you set. If the boundary is holding hands and kissing (no petting), then don't walk around the back of the bleachers with him... alone on the couch at 2am is a terrible idea, etc. Your behavior should match your boundaries. This makes it easier on him, too, because when you allow overly intimate scenarios to develop it confuses the boundaries, even if you agreed on them.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:59 AM.