What is unconditional love?
I am asking this not as a parent, but as a child.
When I was much younger (5-11 years old), I used to get not-so-good grades, I was a bit chubby too. My mother treated me OK but my father tended to ignore me, or sometimes he'll lecture me to make me improve myself, sometimes he'll even yell at me (he even broke a glass plate once on the dinner table while yelling at me out of anger, or to show me how angry he is with me).
For the recent years (12-18), I been getting good grades (straight A and skipped several years) and no longer fat (actually I'm anorexic and working part time as a model) and the way my parents treat me (especially my father) is all too noticeable. They seem to love me so much more. My father even cleans my room, and seems like the only thing he ever talks about is me, how I'm "perfect", etc.
My question is: if you love you child a lot more when he/she is being "good", is that considered "placing a condition" on your love for the child? Does a parent who feel this way still "unconditionally love" a child?
Despite only being 18 now, I'm depressed and tired of working this hard (I do like school and working but not 14 hours a day), I'm physically and psychologically ill from being anorexic. Yet, I'm afraid to "relax" a bit because I fear that my parents won't love me anymore, or at least not as much as they do now. My father constantly compliments me on how "good" I look, despite the fact that he knows I'm anorexic. Faced with this kind of pressure, why would I dare recovery? I want my parents to continue loving me.
Thanks.