I just broke up with my boyfriend... and I want him back... I just want to know how I can get him back... I've read so many things about getting your man back and it's been very helpful... so far I know that I shouldn't make myself look available or needy of him and that I shouldn't wait so long... but to give him time and space... I've been told to play hard to get, but will it work? Will that make him want me back as much as I want him back?

So what else can I do?

Dear,

Do u rellay want him back??

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Originally Posted by goelpunit

Dear,

Do u rellay want him back ????

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Yea I do he tells me that maybe he might come back that maybe this was one of his biggest mistakes... but I do want him back I know that I need to give him time and space plus make myself better for me and live my life but I just want him back in my life again

You know I know exactually how you feel. It's kindof the other way around though. My boyfriend and I were dating for 2 1/2 years and talking about getting married and the whole tid bit. Now he 'wants space' just out of the blue. I tried contacting him the first couple of days then he finally told me I was disturbing him and all he wants is some space. So that's what I'm going to do is give him space and time. I think you need to slowly start talking to him. Just as friends, then once you two have got that rock solid then start talking about getting back together. It'll make you both stronger and your relationship that much stronger. In the meantime go out with your friends. Have the time of your life enjoying their friendship and loving life. Yes you're going to miss him and not see how you can get through every minute but just give it time and work on it slowly, just don't try to rush him back into it.

I think you got to slow down a bit. Don't get too caught up in "how to play it". I mean playing hard to get or this and that is not a formula you use to win someone back, its something you do when you don't have the courage to just ask ( not meant in a bad way, hell I can't ask:() So really if you want him back thantell him, nothing you are going to do is going to make him come back if he has made his final decision.

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Originally Posted by shinobikun

I just broke up with my boyfriend... and i want him back... i just want to know how i can get him back... i've read so many things about getting your man back and it's been very helpful... so far i know that i shouldn't make myself look available or needy of him and that i shouldn't wait so long... but to give him time and space... i've been told to play hard to get, but will it work? will that make him want me back as much as i want him back?

so what else can i do?

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Good question... and what has been asked whether you really want him back is good too.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif Did you read the very first stickys on this page?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/

They help for starters.. to help you remember how it feels to break up, no matter who was the breaker or breakee.

Get your 'individuality' back first, don't make any idividual the center of your universe and learn how to gain your self-respect back. Once strong and self-sufficient, you'll get mosty anyone you want, including him.. but you might find someone more worthy of your time and energy. There is no guarantee in life, so just ensure that no matter what you do, it's for your happiness and not just a need to be with someone.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

I really do want him back and I know I have to make me better for me and to let time takes it's place but I was told never to ask him back until I know I'm ready to be back with him... but I'm afraid to approach him... I can't even ask him to come and just hang out without getting all nervous and teary eyed... but I know that I can't rush these things and I know that the best thing to do is wait... thank you for all your answers and I hope that all of you can still help me with this... I'll keep you all up to date and I thank you for you supprot

We will be here for you dear... don't worry, and you need no tears here.

The first questions then is why you are still so nervous... you need to get your emotions stabilized first before you take any next steps.

What have you learned about yourself during this relationship? Do you recognize your weakneses? Make yourself a list of pros and cons and we will help you work on them step by step if need be.

Look in the mirror and start liking what you see - that is very imporant.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif P.S. Not what you think others would like to see, but what you would like to see... OK? Keep us posted.

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I just broke up with my boyfriend

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Why and how??

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Why and how??????????????

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I guess he wanted to findout if what we had was really love... and not just attachment... I know it was love... because I couldn't do what I did with him with any other guy and I know that for a fact... I respect that he wants to take a break because I don't want him to be with me if he isn't happy with me... but he said that there is hope he may comeback and I'll believe him

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Originally Posted by Chery

We will be here for you dear... don't worry, and you need no tears here.

The first questions then is why you are still so nervous... you need to get your emotions stabilized first before you take any next steps.

What have you learned about yourself during this relationship? Do you recognize your weakneses? Make yourself a list of pros and cons and we will help you work on them step by step if need be.

Look in the mirror and start liking what you see - that is very imporant.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif P.S. Not what you think others would like to see, but what you would like to see... OK? Keep us posted.

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I learned that I'm not so weak... and I'm more understanding than most of my friends... I know that some of my weaknesses are not being able to stand up for myself when I know that something is wrong.. and that I compare myself to others... and I get jealous easily...

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Originally Posted by crippledsoul225

Yes play hard to get! He needs time to miss you. Don't contact him at all for at least 3 months and see what effect that has on him. If he really cares then he will call you eventually. If not then you'll be getting a head start on healing from this breakup at the end of 3 months. If he calls don't answer his calls. Let them go to voicemail. This gives you a much better idea as to why he is calling. If he called for something important (such as wanting you back) then he will leave a voicemail.

Take your time replying to voicemails such as 3-4 days. Don't overstay your welcome when you are in contact. That means don't talk for more than 5 minutes on the phone and make sure you end the conversations first.

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OK I'll give it a try I'm starting to do that now... but is that really effective?? Will it make him come back? I'v been told that it can also push him away... if done wrong... so are there wrong and right ways to play hard to get? And I was also told that if I wait to long he can lose interest in me... so should I give it a couple of weeks and if nothing then go into months??

From your other post, I take it your in high school. Such a good age to be. There is no way to make someone comeback to you and waiting until they feel like giving you time is futile, and unhealthy. Taking his word for he may be back, is just his way of saying, when he is through exploring, and keeps you waiting for him. Not healthy at all. Be yourself and enjoy yourself, his loss, but don't be put on hold. Trust me I understand the intense feelings you have for him, but don't let those feelings over rule your common sense, and put you in the unhealthy position of waiting for someone who may not have your interest at heart, despite what he says. If you have to play games to get, or keep someone, it ain't love.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

From your other post, I take it your in high school. Such a good age to be. There is no way to make someone comeback to you and waiting until they feel like giving you time is futile, and unhealthy. Taking his word for he may be back, is just his way of saying, when he is thru exploring, and keeps you waiting for him. Not healthy at all. Be yourself and enjoy yourself, his loss, but don't be put on hold. Trust me I understand the intense feelings you have for him, but don't let those feelings over rule your common sense, and put you in the unhealthy position of waiting for someone who may not have your interest at heart, despite what he says. If you have to play games to get, or keep someone, it ain't love.

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But I do love him I mean I really do... I know I do... sure I know I'm young and all but I'm going to take his word for it and wait until he comes back and if he doesn't then that just makes me a bigger fool than I am now... I have faith that he'll come back maybe not tomorrow or the next day.. or even the couple of weeks or months... I'm religious and I just hope that if I keep praying to God then maybe he'll bring him back one day if his heart desires so... that's how much of a fool I am... so thank you for your advice and trying to help but I'll continue to wait until all hope dies

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Originally Posted by shinobikun

ok i'll give it a try i'm starting to do that now... but is that really effective???

Who knows.. we all have that question in our minds several times in our lives, but we don't let it control everything else we do.

will it make him come back?

again, no guarantees here...

i'v been told

you have been told a lot... by whom?.. what agegroup are we talking about here? do you trust and/or believe everything you are told?

that it can also push him away.... if done wrong... so are there wrong and right ways to play hard to get?

Don't you think that if someone knew exactly what the right or wrong things to do in life - that he/she would have written a book by now? There are a lot of books, but they are not foolproof.

and i was also told that if i wait to long he can lose interest in me.... so should i give it a couple of weeks and if nothing then go into months???

Again, this depends on your character, his character and maturity levels, plus the experiences you both have had in your lives. A kid looses interest in a toy after seeing something new... adults view things differently - and at what point you become an adult is up to each individual.

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This just might be the right time for you to spend alone and reflect on what interests and goals you set for yourself. Without being told what to be interested in or do at this point - how about letting your gut feelings tell you some things - not just 'outside influence'.

You say you are sure you want him back.. How about the other things in life that you want, i.e. career, music, literature, future goals with or without a man or woman to divert you from concentrating on these other things that are important?

What other wants and needs do you have in your life - let us know some of them.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gifHow about you doing the 'telling' for a change - start here.

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Originally Posted by Chery

This just might be the right time for you to spend alone and reflect on what interests and goals you set for yourself. Without being told what to be interested in or do at this point - how about letting your gut feelings tell you some things - not just 'outside influence'.

You say you are sure you want him back.. How about the other things in life that you want, i.e. career, music, literature, future goals with or without a man or woman to divert you from concentrating on these other things that are important?

What other wants and needs do you have in your life - let us know some of them.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gifHow about you doing the 'telling' for a change - start here.

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To be honest I don't really have anything I really want except to be close to him... I have a job... I'm passing school I'm on the right track to graduate... I've already planned that I'm not going to college right away so I wouldn't have to worry about it... I'm working out staying healthy... there's really nothing else I need... I just really want to be with him... I am happy with my life it's just hard to stay happy when I know that were not together right now... sorry if I'm making this hard for everyone...

Your making it hard on yourself, since there is something wrong with holding on to unrealistic dreams. You prevent yourself from seeing all that life has for you. Let it go and be healthy and happy.

You are not making this hard on us. We would not be here if we could not handle it. We have had our been there, done that experiences and are happy to help where we can.

I just think you are too focused on this one guy. Is he your first real love? Did he treat you right and was he proud to appear in public with you? What in the world is so special about him that no other man could ever take his place? Do you love him enough to let him have his space so that he can have time to miss what he had when you were together. Sometimes that's the best way to show you care, is by letting go, no matter how long it takes.

Time will tell if you are meant for each other.

Please don't place any other person in the center of your universe, that's the worst thing you can do, you will lose your individuality, and that might be just what attracted him to you in the first place. Some guys don't like girls that cling, so be careful.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
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Originally Posted by Chery

You are not making this hard on us. We would not be here if we could not handle it. We have had our been there, done that experiences and are happy to help where we can.

I just think you are too focused on this one guy. Is he your first real love? Did he treat you right and was he proud to appear in public with you? What in the world is so special about him that no other man could ever take his place?. Do you love him enough to let him have his space so that he can have time to miss what he had when you were together. Sometimes that's the best way to show you care, is by letting go, no matter how long it takes.

Time will tell if you are meant for each other.

Please don't place any other person in the center of your universe, that's the worst thing you can do, you will lose your individuality, and that might be just what attracted him to you in the first place. Some guys don't like girls that cling, so be careful.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
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Yea he was my first real love... he saw me when no one else would and he understands me completely inside and out... and you I love him enough to give him space and take time to miss me... and I won't let go I just went let him know that I'm holding on... I'm not trying to cling because I know it won't bring him back

So he broke up with you because he was not sure if you're "the one"
If he wants to come back to you, is a decision he has to make, and yours would be, do you want to wait around for him to decide and do you want to take another chance with him?
That's just My opinion.
How long have you two been together?