So here's my story.. I met a boy named brandon, we fell in love and it was perfection at its finest. Its weird, when your with someone, you knows its right.. you feel it, you see it, and you live it. We had the perfect love, late nights and laughs. We dated for over a year, we were eachothers first true love, first too meet eacothers parents.. and all those little things you can't wait to do with someone some day.. We had a long distance relationship, it worked.. And we had hard, hard times.. and we lasted.. hes here now and has been all summer and is now.. But this past month... things changed. I don't get what or where.. or even when! We were eachothers night and day. We never went out, all we needed was each other. We had plans for our life.. and soon to be kids.. (well not so soon more like 5/6 years from now) But anyway.. When we had hard times, they were really hard.. but we always grew more valiant because of them.. And last week.. He out of nowhere goes "Lets go out and have fun, you go with your girls and i go with my gus.." I was like okay.. It was weird at first since he always sheltered me.. Anyway, later that night I called him, he didn't asnwer then picked up and hungup on me.. . I didn't talk to him till the next morning.. He called me and was like hey baby what's up and so on.. And told me he loved me repeadtly. I knew in my heart I had to let go.. So I go "im not happy" we started fighting and hehung up. I didn't hear from him the rest of the day.. I called he didn't asnwer, called his friends, and everything. I technically didn't break up with him.. Anyway, its now Thursday, and I just talked to him yesterday.. I didn't call him for a few days.. and he never answered.. And he did yesterday.. We talked, he told me that.. he almost cheated on me Friday and went to the club and he was so happy.. That wasn't the person I knew.. It broke my heart.. And stupid me, trying to win him back (sad as it seems I had him so whipped.. well I did.) And nothing worked, for a bit there, he was like yeah do you want to get back with me and talking about it.. Then it went to.. "Just move on" and "i love you but im having fun single and i dont know what the future holds now, i just wanna party" and "i dont wanna be tied down"... ect. Now here, I am... losing. I am trying so hard to stay strong, but I want to give in so bad.. I miss the thought of who he used to be.. That's what I'm holding onto.. I do not know how to let go.. Seriously, I've been out eeverynight.. I haven't really thought about him until yesterday.. I just want him to miss me and then when he comes back to me, I can shove it in his face. That's mean, but I want him to feel what I felt.. I want the ball in my court. How do I win? I want to make him feel bad.. and miss me.. and everything. I don't know what went wrong and where it changed. If you only knew what we had... Maybe it was time.. to let go. But honestly, how?
