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-   -   Potty Training Misery (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=152010)

  • Nov 14, 2007, 11:17 AM
    Mindy Rodque
    Potty Training Misery
    My 3 year old son is very smart and almost TOO smart for his own good. I have been potty training him for 6 months, it has been getting worse for the past 2 months. He has no problem making a pee on the potty but lately he's been still making bowel movements in his pullups. I make him sit in it for as long as he can stand it as I was hoping he would become uncomfortable. He has gone twice but that just doesn't seem to merit much for praise when he has MESSED 100 other times. The first time he went on the potty we made him a cake with candles and a wee present. The next day he wanted the cake but I GOT THE PRESENT. Lol Package a la stink. I need suggestions as I am at my end with trying to get him to understand. I think it may be a control issue, not sure. ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!!
  • Nov 14, 2007, 11:24 AM
    charlotte234s
    I don't know if this will work for you, but my parents took the diaper off me and let me run round basically naked (in the house haha, not in public) when I was little, they knew I wouldn't just go to the bathroom all over and I'd seek out the potty, and that worked for them.
  • Nov 14, 2007, 11:25 AM
    charlotte234s
    Also, rewarding him for doing something he is supposed to do may just lead to him using that as a control thing, yes, and he will try to get what he wants if he knows he can. I'm not saying don't praise him or maybe even reward him a little, but a cake and a present may be going a little overboard I think. Just my opinion though.
  • Nov 14, 2007, 11:29 AM
    NeedKarma
    Patience. No need to force the issue. He already pees so that's a start. Make the potty available to him and remind that it's for everything (pee and poop). When he feels he is ready then he'll do it. Coercing by letting him sit in his poop will not help, continue being the caring, loving parent and he'll come around on his own schedule.
  • Nov 14, 2007, 12:10 PM
    danielnoahsmommy
    He is just not ready. Sooner or later he will notice older children don't wear pullups and want to be like them. It took my son almost till he was 41/2. be patient, he just is not ready yet
  • Nov 14, 2007, 12:12 PM
    charlotte234s
    True, patience is important too, as some children just take longer than others, but don't let him play you for rewards if you think that's what he's doing.
  • Nov 14, 2007, 01:03 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mindy Rodque
    I make him sit in it for as long as he can stand it as I was hoping he would become uncomfortable.

    This is a very bad thing to do. You are shaming him and this can lead to self-esteem problems down the road. You should never shame or guilt your child for any reason. Not to mention you are putting him at risk for infection and skin breakdown due to sitting in his own feces for a while.

    Now, you have to understand that bowel movements are the last phase of learning to use the potty. It is much easier for a child to learn and understand the feeling of a full bladder than it is a full bowel. They also have to learn sphincter control that comes along with bowel movements, and this isn't easy.

    Now, with that said, why does he have to use the toilet? He still has diapers on, yes, pull-ups are diapers without the tape on the sides. When I trained all 4 of my children we made it a big day to go out and buy big boy/girl underwear. They got to pick out their favorite characters and the whole 9 yards. When we got home we talked about what they were for and that we were going to get rid of the baby diapers and start wearing the big boy/girl underwear. I then explained to them what was expected. Voilą!! Problem solved. Sure there were still accidents here and there, but it was much easier.

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