I love him, but I am confused and I think he's manipulating me
Fifteen years ago, I dated my present boyfriend but nothing serious happened during that time. It was a platonic relationship! After I separated from my husband, I saw him and it was a click right away. We starting going out and I fell in love really bad. He use to sing song to me, take me to nice places etc. Well, I felt great , but I start observed he was really jealous. I was working for a company as a Production Planner, which take me a lot of my time watching the production constantly. He get really mad if I didn't answer his call or I talk to him for the period he wish. In various occasion I explained him the importance for me to be in the production floor and in management meeting, but he always was upset and he didn't undestand. Well, I get fired for my job and one of the reason it was because of him... I get depressed and he "supposetly"support me, but deep of me I knew he was one of the reason because his constantly pushing caused me more stress in my work area. Also, he always was asking me if someone was hitting on me in the plant or if I was dating before someone... which not.
I can't deny he help me to paid some rent bills, because I didn't have the money for it after I was fired. Also, when it was a disagreenment, I felt he never let me express my point and I stayed quite to not make the situation worse, but in the end I felt frustrated because he couldn't understand my point and how I was feeling. He always used the quote "I am talking with examples and evidence..you dont" or didn't take seriously my feelings. Not only that, when I was trying to express myself he used to told me if I didn't like what he was telling me to hang out and never call him back, or just simple he hang out. Because I love him I called him over and over and cried loud for him.
Then one day I get so mad that I told him I am tired of his stuff and I leave him, but then few days I started missing him and I called him. He used that to make my life miserable, remind me that I left him... In this point, he told me that everything will change... he put me in the situation to accept or not his conditions, which was "no visit his family or friends, to take everything easy". I saw a point in this because he didn't want to keep saying that we came back and next day that we stop see each other. But in that point of our relationship I was ready to no allow anybody interfere with us, so I didn't take it this "condition"seriously until a weekend I stayed in his house. He didn't want me to go with him to see his mother (which I love her a lot), it shocked me but I stayed in his house until he return. Then , it was a boxer fight that night (PPV) and all his friend was planning to get together to watch this fight. I was expecting to go with him and he didn't want me to go with him. THEN, I was really hurt. I told him "why u dont want me to go with you...they are your friends!!??? How many couple fights and get together? Well, he went alone and I did stayed in his house. I felt really bad and when he came back he acted like nothing happened and he asked to have intimacy, but I wasnt in mood. He get mad with me becuase "he told me what was his conditions and I did accept them and now I was getting upset" I did cry that night ! Why he was doing it to me?. Next morning, while we intimated I started crying remember the day before and he knew why I was upset and he didn't asked me or tried to resolve the problem. During the week , I broke up with him , we stayed split for almost 2 months... but again I missed him and I want him be in my life. So I returned to him and he put a lot of conditions because he can't continue dealing with the broke up - return situation. His condicitions is simply like ÿou have to do what I want to and you can't give me crap of nothing, so that if I don't agree with him I must to keep quite. And I can't do that! I told him that in the same way he don't want his family knows about us been together I will NOT put my kids in the spot. He get mad and start fight. Is easy for him put conditions but when I did use the same conditions with my kids he didn't like it. So, when I told him how I am feeling he get angry and kept me for a 1 1/2 hrs telling me without give me change to talk, his point and why I am ungrateful after he take me back... like he is doing a favor to me! He keep saying that he is been humillated it by me, that I did a show each time I cried and told him that I love him, that he is giving me so much and I don't, blah blah, blah. I think I am been manipulated from him and he was using emotional sabotage to make me do wherever he wants to. I did love him but I must to love me more!
