G/F Ex causing me troubles
Hi,
My girlfriend of 8 months keeps getting emails from this Australian guy she was with for 3 months (She lives in Canada), from what I can tell they had a great time together. But since he was younger and had to go back to OZ they just kept it a casual sex thing although he lived with her for 1 month.
Anyway I gave up my life in NZ to move over here on a 1 year working visa to be with her (and her 3 kids) and about a month into it I saw an email from this guy. He started pretty innocent with casual conversation except for signing off xxx which I didn't like. I told my g/f how it makes me feel having an ex keep in contact, especially since I know they never really broke up. Anyway she told me he is just a friend and they have causal conversations. So I accepted it at the time, but was hoping she would show me the emails he writes just so I'd feel more comfortable that he is geniune about being friends only. Actually I hoped she would sense I was uncomfortable and just end their internet friendship.
About a week ago curosity got the better of me and I checked her email to see if they were still keeping in touch. And I see that she had been replying to his emails always when I'm asleep, either 1am or before I wake up. The last email had stuff in there I didn't like. He said he wished he never gave her their tape back (sex tape). My G/F wrote back saying why would he want it. And he wrote back saying that they always made sweet sweet love and had a good time and he thought it would be funny to look back on the tape in ten years. In the same email he talks about how hot his new g/f is that he is in a long distance relationship with.
Anyway I couldn't hold this in, so I told her that I saw this email and that it hurt me for the following reasons
1. They are keeping in touch
2. He is writing about their past sex life and how good it was. I don't think friends should do this.
3. He wished he had the tape so he could still watch it.
4. My G/F never mentions me in their conversations. If I write to a girl that is a friend I'm always talking about me and my g/f.
5. She is writing to him secretly. When I asked her about this she said she did it because she knew I wouldn't like it.
6. She never wrote to him saying I don't think this is appropriate or fair on your g/f or my boyfriend. Instead she wanted to know why he wanted it and said it may have still be around if he didn't piss her off (hehe).
7. She told him she hasn't been back to this lake since they were there together. This is where they made the video.
Anyway after her getting upset with me for reading the email, she never told me she would tell him to piss off or that she was sorry for any of this. I said her own friends have told me he is a player and she stuck up for him and tried to tell me he is actually a really nice guy.
I'm emotionally drained talking about him. I don't want to bring this up again with her, but it is effecting my trust / sex life and making me feel pretty crap.
She has tons of other guy friends, that I have no problem with. I just feel there is a connection here between them and I don't know what to do.
I want to write him an email and let him know that he sucks. But don't think that will achieve anything.
Am I being silly? I doubt she would like it if my EX was writing to me and saying this sort of thing.