Why do people take emotional abuse so lightly? Thank you for your concern and advice, I thank God mostly because without him I would not seek help, and for the times no one was there. I am in the process of recovery. I had gone to a hospital for crisis advice three times in this relationship. Recently they referred me to Women in Transition. The therapist there gave me almost two hours of therapy the first time I saw her without charging me one cent. I was amazed at how I had recovered just by seeing her, she gave me a different point of view about things and I felt better about myself, also she saw me again the next day, looking forward to goals, and papers for me to read about abuse related topics. Also I will return to talk to her for more therapy and group therapy as well. (at no charge) I have not talked to the abuser or seeing him for almost two weeks and I feel like I am in a cloud, like I was on a roller coaster ride of emotions and I am not anymore. Like a great weight was lifted from me.

Hello don:

Two weeks? Try NEVER.

excon

The question is why you think there are no laws against it. The problem is that its hard to prove and therefore prosecute, but there are laws to protect people.

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Originally Posted by donotrun

Why do people take emotional abuse so lightly? Thank you for your concern and advice, I thank God mostly because without him I would not seek help, and for the times no one was there. I am in the process of recovery. I had gone to a hospital for crisis advice three times in this relationship. Recently they referred me to Women in Transition. The therapist there gave me almost two hours of therapy the first time I saw her without charging me one cent. I was amazed at how I had recovered just by seeing her, she gave me a different point of view about things and I felt better about myself, also she saw me again the next day, looking forward to goals, and papers for me to read about abuse related topics. Also I will return to talk to her for more therapy and group therapy as well. (at no charge) I have not talked to the abuser or seing him for almost two weeks and I feel like I am in a cloud, like I was on a roller coaster ride of emotions and I am not anymore. Like a great weight was lifted from me.

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I believe you are one of the courageous few who have seen the abuse in your relationship and got professional help.
Some do not even realise they are being mentally abused until years later and then it is too hard to get out of the relationship.
I agree with Scottgem,it is hard to prove as the scars are not visibile to the eyes and camera which proves an abuse occurred or not.
But I believe sometimes mental abuse is worse than the physical abuse as it takes that much longer to realise it is abuse and other people to notice the abuse,and try to help those being abused.
Here is an excerpt from an interesting article.
Please click link to read the rest of the article
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http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/...amily_law.html
There are three pieces of legislation that govern custody, access and related matters in family court. The Divorce Act (federal legislation) makes no reference to violence even in those sections dealing with custody and access. The Children's Law Reform Act (provincial legislation), the principal statute used in custody and access proceedings, likewise does not use the word "violence." It states that custody decisions are to be made based on the "best interests of the child". A parent who has been proven to be physically abusive to the children is not likely to get custody of the children. Increasingly, physical violence by an abusive partner against the other may be considered, but this is not yet the case with emotional abuse. The only legislation that makes overt reference to violence is the provincial Family Law Act, which lists violence as one of the considerations in determining which spouse should remain in the matrimonial home.

Presenting a case in family court that relies strictly or primarily on emotional abuse is a difficult task -- in part because of the lack of definition in the legislation, but also because of the attitudes of most players in the legal arena. The environment of the courtroom also does not provide an atmosphere that is conducive to understanding what any form of abuse does to a woman. [The cumulative effects of repeated and ongoing emotional abuse tactics may be reduced to a series of individual acts that, on their own, are not seen as abuse]. For example, an abusive partner isolates a woman from her friends and family, keeps track of her every move, calls her every hour, goes through her purse, listens to her phone calls, makes all the decisions, and convinces the children that she is not to be respected or listened to.
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Originally Posted by ScottGem

The question is why you think there are no laws against it. The problem is that its hard to prove and therefore prosecute, but there are laws to protect people.

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The thing is that the (crime) is already done, because of his (crime) I suffered great consequences and this could have been worse. This has and will happen to others. I know a victim. There should be laws to prosecute, this person. At least if I can take him to court, he will be (I know) very scared of just being accused and going to trial, because he knows that he is guilty.

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Originally Posted by donotrun

The thing is that the (crime) is already done, because of his (crime) I suffered great consequences and this could have been worse. This has and will happen to others. I know a victim. There should be laws to prosecute, this person. At least if I can take him to court, he will be (I know) very scared of just being acused and going to trial, because he knows that he is guilty.

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And again I ask why you think there aren't any laws? Have you talked to a prosecutor? Have you gone to the police?

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Originally Posted by excon

Hello don:

Two weeks?? Try NEVER.

excon

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I find that guy in the cell so funny, when he says he did not drink the kool-aid.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

And again I ask why you think there aren't any laws? Have you talked to a prosecutor? Have you gone to the police?

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I know what a lawyer will say and at the moment I'm not ready to pay a lawyer for prosecution. The police around here are corrupt (true) most of them will probably mis- inform me or get me in trouble for the least of reasons and believe me they will argue and get you in trouble for the least of reasons.

Though I have a relative whom I hardly see who is a Judge in another state, usually he is too busy to do much for me because of these corny laws and because of his location.

You really don't seem to have an understanding of our legal system. Personal lawyers don't prosecute in criminal cases. If a criminal act has been committed the District Attorney's office prosecutes, so it doesn't cost you anything. If you feel a crime has been committed against you, you go to a prosecutor or the police to report it. If you think the police are corrupt, then go to the district attorney's office.

But don't say there aren't laws when you have done nothing about filing charges.

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Originally Posted by donotrun

I find that guy in the cell so funny, when he says he did not drink the kool-aid.

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We all know he did!

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

You really don't seem to have an understanding of our legal system. Personal lawyers don't prosecute in criminal cases. If a criminal act has been committed the District Attorney's office prosecutes, so it doesn't cost you anything. If you feel a crime has been committed against you, you go to a prosecutor or the police to report it. If you think the police are corrupt, then go to the district attorney's office.

But don't say there aren't laws when you have done nothing about filing charges.

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I did not know I could prosecute someone that way or were to go. I did not know really know what prosecute meant. This information is useful and I will try to do something soon.
Thank you.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

You really don't seem to have an understanding of our legal system. Personal lawyers don't prosecute in criminal cases. If a criminal act has been committed the District Attorney's office prosecutes, so it doesn't cost you anything. If you feel a crime has been committed against you, you go to a prosecutor or the police to report it. If you think the police are corrupt, then go to the district attorney's office.

But don't say there aren't laws when you have done nothing about filing charges.

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I will probably get in trouble if I did something now, since he has a protection order against me that I allowed him to violate by seeing me. He had promised to take it back but never did.

I'm confused, he has a protection order against you? But he visited you? That actually can help bolster your case.

Not sure I understand how that would get you in trouble, if he visited you.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I'm confused, he has a protection order against you?, But he visited you? That actually can help bolster your case.

Not sure I understnad how that would get you in trouble, if he visited you.

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I think she was the one who placed the protection order against him but allowed him to visit...

But I could be wrong.

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Originally Posted by firmbeliever

I think she was the one who placed the protection order against him but allowed him to visit.....

But I could be wrong.

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That's not what she said. What she said was very clear.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

That's not what she said. What she said was very clear.

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He placed the protection order, visited and I allowed. I talked to a lawyer and he said that I can actually get in trouble for that, to leave it as is, and I think I will, I don't want to take the risk of going to jail.

No