To keep it short.. I am going threw alcoholism and have quit been dry 6 months, but my emotions were going up and down... Have stabled them by not thinking so far into things that can't have anything done... We are just to writing emails that's how bad it has gotten.. So what, besides the obvious that I am just writing twice a day just to say mourning and to say good night. Do I have any other options? She has wrote in the emails that, She loves me, That she would do it all over again to feel the happiness, that she cries for us everyday, that if I look at reality and the diseas and fix them so we can be together, and that'll she'll talk to me soon (that was on the 5th of july). What does this all mean, I hurt everyday because of it and don't want to jump to conclusions or assume cause that's what I use to do. Not sure what to think.. Very confused?:confused:

How badly have you hurt those around you?

It sounds like she is willing to "try again", so take it slow - Ask her to meet you for tea for 20 minutes as a start.

First off, Good for you that you have quit drinking.

You have been sober for 6 months. You need to work on you right now. You can not trade one dependency (alcohol) for another (your girl). You have to learn to stand on your own. Each day you will get stronger.

When she sees that - she will give you that second chance.

Thank you now what.. It was the dependency on her.. been being just me looking out for # 1 me, But don't want her to think that I have forgotten and that she isn't my #2 in my life.

You can always just check in with her. With the emails or a short phone call. Take it slow. She may know that you need to find your strength within yourself. And she is giving you that time. When you get sober, as you know, YOU have to want to do it - not to do it for someone else but for yourself. If you got sober only to please her, it could be a short lived sobriety. I hope not.
Once you have this behind you, you can start to rebuild your life. If that is with her, great. If not, you need to know that you can do it alone. Once you have that strength - take baby steps. Like I said, emails,then build your way up to phone calls, then maybe ask her out for coffee.
Good Luck.