I feel out of control overwhelming emotions
I am 16 I have issues with my mother that are apparent to everyone . I feel that my relationship with her the way we act and feel towards each other ruins all of my other relationships and that makes me resent her even more . A few years after her divorce she told me she wished I would find someone I cared for or even loved and that they would break my heart and I could feel the way that she had felt... I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for quite sometime I have the utmost love and respect for him. He is a large part of my life he is a friend and a positive influence on me and my decisions. I have seen many therapists since I was 12 many who have said I was fine and many determined nothing was abnormal about me until recently when my mom and I got into a fight and she pressed charges on me they didn't necessarily say I has anger management just said I needed to choose a better time and places when saying certain things because I tend to lash out when I feel lashed out against... since then problems have been persisting between her and myself.. my boyfriend being someone that I talk to all the time realizes how things go and think that I shoulnt be trying to ingage in a serious relationship until things between her and myself are straightend out . I know my problem is standing up for myself to just about anyone and not letting anyone talk down to me or raise their voice . I know that later in life I will have bosses and other people in authority that will be like that I know I need to calm down but I don't think I should be threatened to be sent away every time something doesn't go her way . I refuse to let the relationship my boyfriend and I are in be ruined because of the relationship between her and myself . I feel as though my life would be better if she moved and just left me with my grandparents who I have lived with for the majority or my life . I can't stand to be in her presence anymore that fact that she may ruin what I have now kills me . I don't know what to do he gets so tired of hearing us arguing constantly If I say nothing she thinks I'm not listening if I do I'm being disrespectful if I walk away whick happened today all hell breaks lose . He has tried to help and support me for the longest but he's about to go to college and he wonders how I will act after he's gone he doesn't believe I'll do my best and how can he when there isn't a day that my mom and I aren't arguing... Please someone tell me what to do I've tried I've prayed and feel that if I lose him because of things at home that I have no real reason to live... Please help