Originally Posted by
dontknownuthin
I see now that you must have had two threads that were merged? I only responded to part of your story.
Please know that you and your future girlfriends really need to own your own moods, behaviors and decisions. For example, if a woman is old enough to be in college, have a live-in boyfriend and be sexual, she's old enough to make her own birth control decisions. I am concerned that the mother was determining the birth control for you and your girlfriend. When there are bad side effects, the right thing to do is to go back to the doctor and talk about other options. In your next relationship, if you decide to make it sexual (which I would advise againsst until you are at least engaged), please insist that this decision is made between you and your girlfriend - the only other person who should weigh in would be her doctor and, if they have one to offer on the subject, your doctor.
I'm concerned, too, that you blame your bad behavior toward your girlfriend on your mother being on your case about work and school. I'm pretty confident that if you were getting good grades and reliably going to work, being responsible about your income - well, your mother probably would not be nagging you about it. I am a mother and I do at times nag - about things which my child is not taking care of adequately. I love when he fires me from the job by taking charge of his own responsibilities fully. For some reason your mother felt she needed to push you to do what you should, and perhaps was not in favor of you living with your girlfriend. If that was a concern to her, I agree with her.
Please also know most of us love more than one time in our lives. I have fallen in love several times. Some people are meant to be in our lives for just a moment, some for years, some for life. There is nothing to be gained by being angry at someone who does not end up being your life partner. She was what she could be. She can't be with you now - clearly she wanted to but she was not getting what she needed from the relationship and she has moved on. It's hard finding the right people to be with, and like you probably will do, too, she may date some of the wrong people in the process of finding the right one. Then again, you will think anyone other than you is the wrong person.
It would be far less honest and far more hurtful to you in the long run were she to stay with you under false pretenses. Is that what you want? A girl who stays with you to avoid hurting your feelings? She knows it's wrong to be with you if she's not feeling the relationship, and you need to appreciate the fact she had the backbone to move forward.