My daughter is 14 almost 15. She has a boyfriend that is 18 yrs old. Despite my protests I haven't been able to keep her from seen him. She went to live with her dad for 6 months at the beginning of the year. She was not happy living with her dad and came back to live with me. I spoke with her boyfriend and told him that I was against their relationship and since I can't be with her 24 hours they would have to go by my terms. If Ihe has sex with her with her consent it was still a crime. I told her the same. Today I found out theyare having sex. I confronted her and she didn't deny it. I told her that it has emotional and health risks not to mention pregnancy. She is so mad at me and wants to go back to live with her dad. I hate to see her leave but I don't know what to do. If she stays she will find ways to see her boyfriend behind my back. What should I do?

You're her mother. It's not up to her where she lives. What is this 18 year old think he's doing with your little girl? Sounds like you've been all talk and no action. Get a restraining order against him. No 18 year old boy has any business messing around with a 14 year old.

Since you can't realistically confine her to the house indefinitely,I would be certain that she is on the pill ,or some form of contraception that she can remember to take and using a condom as well.
I would also look into getting her inoculated against HPV.

Living with Dad may make her stop having sex with the 18 yr.old but it is no guarantee she will not be sexually active with someone else.

I am not trying to encourage or in any way condone her behavior but I think she is going to find a way to do it and it is better to be safe than sorry.

I would also have a long discussion about self respect and self esteem and help her to understand the complicated nature of intimacy and what kind of a message is she putting out there about herself.

I do not envy you your position.

I would put some serious fear in this boy(make sure his parents know what he is doing),and the only reason I'm not saying turn him in for stautory <sp.check> rape is that I don't know more about him and what he may do to you in retaliation if your not afraid of that turn him in

Give her the my house my rules treatment
Along with what artlady's advise was
Stand by it if she gets mad and goes to Daddy you can't stop that she will proubably find several issues in the future where she threatens that all you can do is show her you have her best interest in mind weather she sees it that way or not

In Australia it is against the law for an 18 year old to have sex with a 14-15 year old.

You are the parent. Put your foot down and tell him that you'll report him to the police. Tell her as well.

Tell her father what is going on and ask for his assistance in dealing with her (and the BF if needs be).

She is a minor. You have a duty of care. Tell her while she's in your house she sticks by your rules and that she will live where you decide, not her.

Explain that you are doing it because you love her - she won't believe you but she needs to know.

No matter how many times my mother told me not to have sex I still did it.

If I were you I would:
-Take her to planned parenthood or a clinic. Help her get sex educated. Let the nurse talk to her about, diseases, AIDS, pregnancy and contraception.
-Get her contraception.
-Have her get a part time job to pay for the contraception. If she wants to make and adult decision to have sex then she has to work as adults do. Have her even pay a portion of your monthly bills.
-Invite the 18 year old boy over, have a talk with him with your daughter's father present if possible. Let him know that having sex with her can put him in jail for statutory rape. Let him know that if he is dating your daughter he needs to respect her.
-If they go out on dates let them go on group dates, not alone.
-Give her a curfew. Anything past 10 is asking for it.
-Make house dates, let the boyfriend come over, let them watch movies, but do not allow them to go in her room.

I know it's hard to think, why would I approve of this 18 year old kid? But the truth is she thinks she loves him, once she thinks you approve she'll eventually get tired of him. Really. Try it. Of course always keep an eye out and if there is bad behavior such as:
-coming late from curfew
-finding out she had sex with the boy
-bad grades

Then you should take away her privileges-- and also call the police if he did have sex with her.

If you keep nagging her to not have sex and threaten her with different things she will just sneak off with the boy and do it. Trust me, teens invented the saying "when there's a will there's a way".

Go to the clinic, get her informed, push her to get a part time job, get her contraception, and get to know the boy a little more.

... after all aren't you supposed to keep your enemies close;)

Good luck mom!

Sarah

^ Sarah pretty much just summed it up.

Your daughter by law is your responsibility and has to listen to her guardian until she turns 16. Unfortunately with teenagers, the more you go against them the more they go against you.

She is going to be sexually active either way with this man, so either get her on the pill or make sure they have condoms (make them pay for them).

Of course there is no guarantee that the condoms will be used so I would stick with using the pill.

If you haven't already, take her to a doctor and a clinic and make sure she is well educated. That is the first thing you need to do.

Yes well put sarah!

I re-cant my advise on putting fear in the boy

That was the father coming out again!

And it does not work anything you do to break

Them up only makes them stronger

I agree with all the above posts.

This is going to be a tough one,an 18 year old is going to get fed up with a 14 year old when there are shaprones present and rules attached... he will go of his own accord.

Your daughter will be heart broken,she's going to need you.

If she sees you as the one who broke them up,she won't talk to you,and you won't know what's going on...

Thread carefully,your involvement is going to require some devious thinking,whatever you decide to do.. at the end of the day,you can balance the books by saying you did your job,and protected your daughter.

I disagree with the others to some extent. Since you have already told the boyfriend that having sex with your daughter is a crime, then back it up. Go to the police or local prosecutor and report it. If you want to give him one more chance, go to his parents and tell them if you find out he's come near your daughter again, you WILL swear out a warrant against him. But frankly I wouldn't wait. You already warned them once. This is too serious to be wishy washy.

I'm also not sure I would provide her with contraception. It's a very hard call to make, but I really think she is too young to be engaging in sexaul actvity at all.

Why is the boy not in jail at this point, have you talked to the boys parents and told them

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I disagree with the others to some extent. Since you have already told the boyfriend that having sex with your daughter is a crime, then back it up. Go to the police or local prosecutor and report it. If you want to give him one more chance, go to his parents and tell them if you find out he's come near your daughter again, you WILL swear out a warrant against him. But frankly I wouldn't wait. You already warned them once. This is too serious to be wishy washy.

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Thanks for the new perspective. I agree with this!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I'm also not sure I would provide her with contraception. Its a very hard call to make, but I really think she is too young to be engaging in sexaul actvity at all.

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Well I don't think she should be having sex either. Heck when my daughter is that age I know I'm going to pee myself if she were to be in this situation. Having a daughter, just thinking of getting her contraception will be hard. However, I would rather have her be protected then end up with a disease or an unwanted pregnancy.

I would also suggest going to counseling with her. There may be some sort of hurt behind all of this mess.

Sarah

Counseling is a great idea. At the very least it will hopefully help to improve the communication. She needs to learn to work things out, she can't just run away from something every time she doesn't like it.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

why is the boy not in jail at this point, , have you talked to the boys parents and told them

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I think that is a little harsh. You don't know this young man, he could easily be a kid with a good head on his shoulders. He is dating a younger girl which obviously means to be more aware of rules and what is and not right. They are dating, if he raped her / beat her or made her have sex with him.. that is a different story.

Yes, the law allows certain age differences to get involved in sexual activity. But throwing your daughters boyfriend in jail? Your daughter is not going to talk or have respect for you for a long time.

I think there's a reason it's called statutory RAPE. It's not like she's just a few months or a year younger than him. He's 18. She's 14. He knows better. He should know better at least, then to be getting in bed with a little girl. Because that's exactly what she is right now. She's still a little girl. He has no business being with her. What 18 year old (legally an adult) with a good head on their shoulders gets into bed with a little girl? This mother already said NO SEX. She told them what the rules are. At the very least this guy is a bad influence. He's helping the daughter break the rules.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CanadianCrook

I think that is a little harsh. You don't know this young man, he could easily be a kid with a good head on his shoulders. He is dating a younger girl which obviously means to be more aware of rules and what is and not right. They are dating, if he raped her / beat her or made her have sex with him.. that is a different story.

Yes, the law allows certain age differences to get involved in sexual activity. But throwing your daughters boyfriend in jail? Your daughter is not going to talk or have respect for you for a long time.

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There is a reason its called Age of CONSENT. Generally a 14 yr old girl is not mature enough to have a sexual relationship. So the law protects such a minor by not allowing them to be legally able to conset to sex.

The fact is this 18 yr old broke the law by having sex with a minor. Especially since he was warned that it was against the law. So, no, I do not feel it is harsh at all. An 18 yr old having any relationship with a 14 yr old is highly questionable. To be having sex with a minor is even more questionable, and its illegal!

This mother needs to protect her daughter. Yes it might cause a rift between them, but that's preferable to the alternatives. I do agree we know little about this boy. But we know that he ignored the mother's warnings and the legal consequences and engaged in sexual activity with a minor. That's enough for me!

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Originally Posted by zippit

I would put some serious fear in this boy(make sure his parents know what he is doing),and the only reason im not saying turn him in for stautory <sp.check> rape is that i dont know more about him and what he may do to you in retaliation if your not afraid of that turn him in

give her the my house my rules treatment
along with what artlady's advise was
stand by it if she gets mad and goes to Daddy you can't stop that she will proubably find several issues in the future where she threatens that all you can do is show her you have her best interest in mind weather she sees it that way or not

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I would not be intimidated by an 18 year old boy nor would I allow a 14 year old daughter to call the shots. If you can't control her behavior at 14, what are you going to do when she's 16?

He is breaking the Law. Your daughter could get pregnant or could end up with any number of sexually transmitted diseases. Pregnancy might very well be the least of your/her problems.

I say you have to take a stand - I would report this to the Police. I would care little if my daughter were angry with me. It is your responsibility to protect your daughter in every way, whether it makes her angry or not. There are actually cases where a parent lost custody for allowing underage sex.

As was said above - with apologies to the person who said it - I don't envy you your position here.

He is an adult, or of adult age. He can enter the service and go defend our country. He can make his own decisions. He can do whatever any of us(of age) can do .

He is also old enough to know that it's AGAINST THE LAW to be having sex with your daughter. Tell his parents that their son is about to be arrested for stautory rape, and put on the sex offender list. I know that's harsh, but she is NOT of age.

She's 14? No way would I allow her to carry on like this.

She also should live wherever YOU tell her to live.

She has tasted the forbidden fruit.

Do you really think that she's going to stop having sex?

Mudweiser made some good points about birth control, counseling, and her getting a job.

But for now, I would separate these two before you have a grandchild on your hands.

I wish for you peace and patience.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

There is a reason its called Age of CONSENT. Generally a 14 yr old girl is not mature enough to have a sexual relationship. So the law protects such a minor by not allowing them to be legally able to conset to sex.

The fact is this 18 yr old broke the law by having sex with a minor. Especially since he was warned that it was against the law. So, no, I do not feel it is harsh at all. An 18 yr old having any relationship with a 14 yr old is highly questionable. To be having sex with a minor is even more questionable, and its illegal!!

This mother needs to protect her daughter. Yes it might cause a rift between them, but that's preferable to the alternatives. I do agree we know little about this boy. But we know that he ignored the mother's warnings and the legal consequences and engaged in sexual activity with a minor. That's enough for me!

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This girl is choosing to be sexually active.

Fourteen year old boys are sexually active.

If not this eighteen year old then possibly another boy of the same age.

Getting this boy in trouble and placing a rape charge on him that will follow him for the rest of his life is punishing him unfairly and it is no guarantee that she will not continue being active with another.

She needs to understand the dynamics of her sexuality and act accordingly.

Many young girls are sexually active for the wrong reasons and that is where Mom comes into the picture to help her understand her blossoming sexuality.

If you understand that males lag in maturity by a few years to females,you can't say conclusively that this boy was the one who initiated the sex.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by artlady

This girl is choosing to be sexually active.

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We don't know how much choice she had. As the product of a divorce, she may have been very vulnerable to an older by offering her affection.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by artlady

Fourteen year old boys are sexually active.

If not this eighteen year old then possibly another boy of the same age.

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That's certainly a possibility, but not a probability.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by artlady

Getting this boy in trouble and placing a rape charge on him that will follow him for the rest of his life is punishing him unfairly and it is no guarantee that she will not continue being active with another.

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No its not. In fact, now that this boy has indoctrnated her, there is certainly a greater possibility that she will seek out other partners. And that is another reason this boy should be punished. I would tend to agree with you if the boy hadn't been warned. But he was and ignored those warnings and flouted the law.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by artlady

She needs to understand the dynamics of her sexuality and act accordingly.

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Definitely!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by artlady

Many young girls are sexually active for the wrong reasons and that is where Mom comes into the picture to help her understand her blossoming sexuality.

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And this may be such a case. As I said earlier this girl may have been more vulnerable because of her family situation. And there is a good chance this boy took advantage of that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by artlady

If you understand that males lag in maturity by a few years to females,you can't say conclusively that this boy was the one who initiated the sex.

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That doesn't matter one iota. He is old enough to know better and was warned about the law.

As the mother of sons,I have seen young girls throw themselves at my sons in such a overtly sexual way that I was taken aback.

Just the pictures they would send over a web cam were so erotic they would be considered porn.

Thankfully,they know not to touch jail bait but I think some boys may not be so inclined and will let their hormones get the best of them.

There has to be some accountability on both ends.

Young girls today(not all) are very promiscuous and they need to be taken to task for their behavior as well.

I agree with Scott but I had to spread the rep.

This boy was warned and he doesn't care, now it's time to back up
The warning and follow through.

The girl is 14, she doesn't have the sense God gave a goat at that
Age. The boy is legally and adult, he made his choice now he's going to have to live with it.

If it were my child I'd give the warning too, then I'd follow through if the warning was dismissed.

Thank you very much for all your great responses. It has helped me tremendously. I will do everything that I can to protect my daughter whether she feels she needs my protection or not. I know that its going to be difficult but "this too shall pass"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mudweiser

No matter how many times my mother told me not to have sex I still did it.

If I were you I would:
-Take her to planned parenthood or a clinic. Help her get sex educated. Let the nurse talk to her about, diseases, AIDS, pregnancy and contraception.
-Get her contraception.
-Have her get a part time job to pay for the contraception. If she wants to make and adult decision to have sex then she has to work as adults do. Have her even pay a portion of your monthly bills.
-Invite the 18 year old boy over, have a talk with him with your daughter's father present if possible. Let him know that having sex with her can put him in jail for statutory rape. Let him know that if he is dating your daughter he needs to respect her.
-If they go out on dates let them go on group dates, not alone.
-Give her a curfew. Anything past 10 is asking for it.
-Make house dates, let the boyfriend come over, let them watch movies, but do not allow them to go in her room.

I know it's hard to think, why would I approve of this 18 year old kid? But the truth is she thinks she loves him, once she thinks you approve she'll eventually get tired of him. Really. Try it. Of course always keep an eye out and if there is bad behavior such as:
-coming late from curfew
-finding out she had sex with the boy
-bad grades

Then you should take away her privileges-- and also call the police if he did have sex with her.

If you keep nagging her to not have sex and threaten her with different things she will just sneak off with the boy and do it. Trust me, teens invented the saying "when there's a will there's a way".

Go to the clinic, get her informed, push her to get a part time job, get her contraception, and get to know the boy a little more.

...after all aren't you supposed to keep your enemies close;)

Good luck mom!

Sarah

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Well It wouldn't let me greanie you, but This is almost exactly what I was going to say.
Especially the part I put in blue, Unfortunately, the fear Of god and parents will not work, and She will come to resent her parents if they completely try to eliminate this


"MOM"
Unfortunately, I see her getting her heart broken, I really don't see a way around that. You are a good mother trying to protect your daughter from this, but she is not willing to listen to reason, at least not from a parent. I wish there was a way for me to talk to her. If you want her to get some first hand education on having your heart broken, I know almost all there is to know from that age. I'm 19. I wish I could talk to her, really, because I still know exactly what it feels like, and I've learned to be pretty convincing when it comes to young ladies,since I am one, although 5 years more grown up. I posted a comment on a thread called "How to hang out with a guy" You can find what I said on there, see if what I said to that young lady can help you talkj to your daughter. Good luck. Your daughter is really going to need you.

Here's the link to the post I had mentioned earlier. I hope it helps.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...uy-397063.html

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

wish there was a way for me to talk to her. If you want her to get some first hand education on having your heart broken, I know almost all there is to know from that age. I'm 19. I wish I could talk to her, really, because I still know exactly what it feels like, and I've learned to be pretty convincing when it comes to young ladies,since I am one, although 5 years more grown up. I posted a comment on a thread called "How to hang out with a guy" You can find what I said on there, see if what I said to that young lady can help you talkj to your daughter. Good luck. Your daughter is really going to need you.

Here's the link to the post I had mentioned earlier. I hope it helps.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...uy-397063.html

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Getting her heart broken is not the problem as I see it - pregnancy and the possibility of disease are far more serious and also possibilities.

You do understand that the boyfriend is raping the daughter, right?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Getting her heart broken is not the problem as I see it - pregnancy and the possibility of disease are far more serious and also possibilities.

You do understand that the boyfriend is raping the daughter, right?

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Yes, I understand all of that. Unfortunately. I also Know that this girl will not listen to her mother, and is not being careful with this at all. I know that if the mother tries to force a break-up, she will fight harder to be with this boy. I was stressing that point because; should she try to forct the break-up, these could be the potential Immediate results.

This 18 year old guy, needs to get his a$$ kicked for taking advantage of an under age girl.

Unfortunately this is a very difficult and touchy situation. And I really thin that this boy needs to be invited over to a sit-down with both of the young ladie's parents and explain to HIM what will happen if it continues. The daughter will rebel if they threaten her, I can see the boyfriend breaking up with her daughter if he's scared enough of going to jail.

He mother has already told this creep she didn't approve of the relationship and that it was a crime for him to have sex with her daughter. Should she keep doing this until her daughter comes home saying "mom, i'm pregnant."? Or maybe she should wait until her daughter comes home with herpes or aids or some other std. would that be enough warnings? Or how about this, the mother protects her daughter, gets a restraining order against this perv and the next time he wants to come around he gets arrested for violating it. If he doesn't get arrested before that for sleeping with a little girl...

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Originally Posted by justcurious55

he mother has already told this creep she didn't approve of the relationship and that it was a crime for him to have sex with her daughter. should she keep doing this until her daughter comes home saying "mom, i'm pregnant."? or maybe she should wait until her daughter comes home with herpes or aids or some other std. would that be enough warnings? or how about this, the mother protects her daughter, gets a restraining order against this perv and the next time he wants to come around he gets arrested for violating it. if he doesn't get arrested before that for sleeping with a little girl...

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I'm not saying this isn't important, I was just throwing out the other aspects of it too. I'm not saying everything else is invalid, just other possibilities. Trying to think from different angles. It helps to get other insight. If she's that worrie, she should call the cops on the guy. She can work on repairing her relationship with her daughter after he is in Jail. But the relationship between the mother and the daughter is important too. She shouldn't just give in to her daughter's wishes, but proceeding with caution could help preserve some of the relationship, even though that isn't the main issue right now, it could lead to other issues down the road. I was just throwing it out there.

Here's the bottom line everyone.

He's 18, an adult. She's 14, a child. It is illegal for them to have sex.

Will she be upset? Of course she will. Will she try to sneak out to do what she wants to do? Probably, didn't we all rebel? Will she get into trouble? Probably, she's a kid, they all do, we all did, that's life.

Here's the thing. It's her parents responsibility to do whatever they can to protect her, even from herself.

There's the fools way and the wise way of learning. If you learn from others mistakes then you're wise. If you learn from your own mistakes, because you refuse to listen to those that have been there, then you're a fool.

This girl is a fool, and she needs someone else to take control until she decides to be wise.

You know, when I was just a little older than this girl my aunt said there were guys I couldn't hang out with too. And I was angry. And I did my fair share of sneaking around. I was lucky, nothing terrible happened. But now that I'm older and, at least slightly wiser, I know why my aunt wouldn't let me go out with certain people. I'm glad for all the times she was strict and I couldn't get around her rules. There were plenty of times that I sat in my room angry and thinking I hated her. But those times aren't what stand out in my memory. It's all the positive things. I think of how much I've learned from her. How much she loves me. The fun things we would do instead of her letting me go hang out with some guy she knew was bad news. So yeah, this girl probably is going to be furious if her bother has her boyfriend arrested. So what. Her mother will be doing her job, protecting and loving her daughter the best that she can. And maybe this girl will never grow up, maybe she'll never move on, maybe she'll stay angry forever. I know a few people that are like that. But I know a whole lot more that get to a point where they can look back and realize how lucky they were to have someone there who cared enough and loved them enough to help them even when they couldn't see that they needed help.

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

I know that if the mother tries to force a break-up, she will fight harder to be with this boy.

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She will have a hard time fighting to be with this boy if he's behind bars!!

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

Unfortunately this is a very difficult and touchy situation. And I really thin that this boy needs to be invited over to a sit-down with both of the young ladie's parents and explain to HIM what will happen if it continues. The daughter will rebel if they threaten her, I can see the boyfriend breaking up with her daughter if he's scared enough of going to jail.

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Your answers seem to shift back and forth - at any rate, the mother has already talked to the boy. I see no point in continuing to explain the facts of life to him. He's also 18 - I don't see much point in explaining things to his parents.

He is breaking the law and this is considered rape. Break up with her? Put him in jail and then everybody's daughter is safe.

I would assume that at one time in her life the daughter thought playing in traffic was a good idea and her mother told her not to - this is the same situation. Different age, different rules, same philosophy.

And it's an entirely different subject (and I know the daughter would swear she's a "very mature 14 year old") but what the heck is an 18 year old, presumably out of high school, doing dating (let alone have sex with) a 14 year old?

Let's all see if we can figure out what he's getting from a 14-year old that he can't get from someone his own age.

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Originally Posted by miamor10192007

My daughter is 14 almost 15. She has a boyfriend that is 18 yrs old. Despite my protests i havent been able to keep her from seen him. She went to live with her dad for 6 months at the beggining of the year. She was not happy living with her dad and came back to live with me. I spoke with her boyfriend and told him that i was against their relationship and since i can't be with her 24 hours they would have to go by my terms. If Ihe has sex with her with her consent it was still a crime. I told her the same. Today I found out theyare having sex. I confronted her and she didnt deny it. I told her that it has emotional and health risks not to mention pregnancy. She is so mad at me and wants to go back to live with her dad. I hate to see her leave but i dont know what to do. If she stays she will find ways to see her boyfriend behind my back. What should I do?

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:o
your her mum she should not have a say at this age were she lives if somthing is occering like this , your her mum you brought her up u looked after her. if shes under your roof then its your rules, you need to take control tell her whats wthat and whos boss, dont give up let her no how if she is not careful then i can reck her life and that you will not be there to pick up the pices every time somthing goes wrong.
good luck with every thing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:)xxxxxxxxxxxxx xx:Dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Originally Posted by star2

:o
your her mum she should not have a say at this age were she lives if somthing is occering like this , your her mum you brought her up u looked after her. if shes under your roof then its your rules, you need to take control tell her whats wthat and whos boss, dont give up let her no how if she is not careful then i can reck her life and that you will not be there to pick up the pices every time somthing goes wrong.
good luck with every thing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:)xxxxxxxxxxxxx xx:Dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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This is very difficult for me to read due to the color. I agree in theory but question the age of this person in light of the "xxx." Not a chat board.


{Mod Note: original post edited as this color is ridiculous. -<>}

No matter what you can't keep her under lock and key and you are not going to be able to stop them. At least she is being open with you and not lying and doing it behind your back.

At least now you are going to have to accept it and maybe help her with things like contraception to avoid pregnancy and STI's.

At that age I don't think its right but they are going to do it whether its now or 10 years time!

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Originally Posted by carlee611

no matter what you can't keep her under lock and key and you are not going to be able to stop them. atleast she is being open with you and not lying and doing it behind your back.

atleast now you are going to have to accept it and maybe help her with things like contraception to avoid pregnancy and STI's.

At that age i dont think its right but they are going to do it whether its now or 10 years time!!

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In 10 years time she will be old enough.

I do not agree that the mother should just 'accept it'

Have you read the other replies, ScottGem has made some good points (!! )

In 10 years it won't be a crime.

So your opinion is that this mother should let the daughter do anything the daughter wants to do on the grounds that "she'll do it anyway"?

Does that include street drugs, drinking and driving?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by carlee611

no matter what you can't keep her under lock and key and you are not going to be able to stop them. atleast she is being open with you and not lying and doing it behind your back.

atleast now you are going to have to accept it and maybe help her with things like contraception to avoid pregnancy and STI's.

At that age i dont think its right but they are going to do it whether its now or 10 years time!!

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Before responding to a thread, especially one with several pages of response, you should review those previous responses.

I'm not sure where you get that the daughter is being open. The OP said only that she found out they were having sex, not HOW she found out.

And, while its true she can't keep the daughter under lock and key she has a good chance of getting the boyfriend under lock and key. Or did you miss the many posts stating that he is committing statutory rape?

I'm sorry but you are not correct that the OP is going "to have to accept it". The OP has some options to prevent the "man" who is taking advantage of her daughter from continuing to do so. Those options have been detailed in previous posts to this thread. So your answer here should never have been posted.

zippit

Quote:

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Originally Posted by zippit

this is a casr when an expert reply everyone jumps on board regardless..
people stick with what you know

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What are you trying to say?

What are we supposed to know?