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    lovingmonkey14's Avatar
    lovingmonkey14 Posts: 39, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Sep 16, 2009, 05:32 PM
    How to hang with this guy?
    My parents won't let me date this guy because he's 16 and I'm 14. But I want to hang with him just as friends, cause we are. So how can I try to convince by parents to let him come over?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 16, 2009, 05:41 PM

    Obey your parents and let this go. You're too young to "hang out" with a 16 y/o. Dig into your schoolwork and get A's and B's.

    P.S. And don't sneak around with him behind their backs.
    lovingmonkey14's Avatar
    lovingmonkey14 Posts: 39, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 19, 2009, 06:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Obey your parents and let this go. You're too young to "hang out" with a 16 y/o. Dig into your schoolwork and get A's and B's.

    P.S. And don't sneak around with him behind their backs.
    But I like him and I just want to hang with him once to see how it goes, I never did before. If I at least did once then I can actually see if I like him, cause it's hard to just judge someone over texting. And maybe I won't even like him but because I never am able to give it a chance I won't ever know.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Sep 19, 2009, 08:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovingmonkey14 View Post
    but I like him and I just want to hang with him once
    It won't stop at "once." He is the flame and you are the moth. OBEY YOUR PARENTS!
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #5

    Sep 19, 2009, 08:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovingmonkey14 View Post
    but I like him and I just want to hang with him once to see how it goes, I never did before. if I atleast did once then I can actually see if I like him, cause it's hard to just judge someone over texting. and maybe I won't even like him but because I never am able to give it a chance I won't ever kno.
    If your parents say no, there is a reason for it. Believe me when I tell you that a 16 year old boy is not going to like you for you. If anything, he will flirt and take advantage of you, however that may be.
    What if he wants to kiss you? Will you let him?
    If you do let him, are you going to make out with him next?
    After you make out with him then what? "other stuff" Sex?
    If you let that happen, he won't respect you. If you don't let it get that far, he will dump you. Believe me, I've seen it happen numerous times. I'm 19, only 5 years older than you. I still remember what it was like to be 14.

    Chances are that this boy will be no different then what I have just described to you. Are you willing to go through that hurt just to see if he likes you? Trust me, you will regret it if you choose to learn this one the hard way. I'm sure you've heard the line that guys will tell you anything. It is absolutely 100% TRUE.

    You're going to go through school seeing all of these girls with boyfriends, and that they're "cool" but in reality, that's not what life is, that's what middle school and high school are.

    You really should do what has been advised of you and leave this boy alone. Please don't pester your parents into allowing it. They love you, and they can see all the hurt that this can bring you from miles and miles away.

    See the thing is, is that you don't want to just hang out as friends with this guy, you already think you like him, you just want more reason to. You have a hidden agenda that you screen behind the "I just want to hang out as friends" thing. But that's just the first step for you, you're planning on liking him more, you're planning on having your parents accept just this one time, so that you can ease it in to a gradual thing, and then a regular thing.


    Let this go sweetheart, you really don't have anything to gain from pursuing it.
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #6

    Sep 19, 2009, 08:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Obey your parents and let this go. You're too young to "hang out" with a 16 y/o. Dig into your schoolwork and get A's and B's.

    P.S. And don't sneak around with him behind their backs.
    I agree with you, but kids don't go on just "listen to your parents" They need more of a break down of things. It would be nice if the "lay down the law" thing would make this girl listen, but I know this situation, and she requires a little more persuading than "because I said so"
    sGt HarDKorE's Avatar
    sGt HarDKorE Posts: 656, Reputation: 98
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    #7

    Sep 19, 2009, 10:05 PM

    Ask your mom if you can hang out with him, at your house while she is home? That way nothing sexual will happen and she will be right there. Who knows, he may actually not want to have sex with you, though unlikely it's possible.
    lovingmonkey14's Avatar
    lovingmonkey14 Posts: 39, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Sep 20, 2009, 09:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE View Post
    ask your mom if you can hang out with him, at your house while she is home? That way nothing sexual will happen and she will be right there. Who knows, he may actually not want to have sex with you, though unlikely it's possible.
    Well yeah that's was my plan, my mom can be right there, I don't want to have sex so it would be fine with me if she was there. And then they can get to know him, but I don't know how to like bring it up.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #9

    Sep 20, 2009, 10:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovingmonkey14 View Post
    well yeah that's was my plan, my mom can be right there, I don't wanna have sex so it would be fine with me if she was there. and then they can get to know him, but I don't know how to like bring it up.?
    As others have said (which you conveniently ignored)
    You don't.

    If your mom agrees to him coming over when she is there and you end up developing this great friendhip... or even relationship then what?

    Are you going to be boyfriend and girlfriend only in front of your mother?

    Of coarse not.

    You are going to want to go out on dates, or just hang out and go to the movies as friends...

    When your mom says no, the whole saga will begin again and it is only going to hurt YOU.
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #10

    Sep 20, 2009, 10:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovingmonkey14 View Post
    well yeah that's was my plan, my mom can be right there, I don't wanna have sex so it would be fine with me if she was there. and then they can get to know him, but I don't know how to like bring it up.?
    Did any bit of what I said even go into your head?
    lovingmonkey14's Avatar
    lovingmonkey14 Posts: 39, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Sep 20, 2009, 04:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ohsohappy View Post
    Did any bit of what I said even go into your head?
    I'm sorry but I like him.
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #12

    Sep 20, 2009, 05:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovingmonkey14 View Post
    I'm sorry but I like him.
    That was the stupidest way to use an apologie. Seriously though, If you want to go get STD's or something later on down the road, or if you want to be used, Be my guest, but you can't say that nobody told you so.
    lovingmonkey14's Avatar
    lovingmonkey14 Posts: 39, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Sep 20, 2009, 07:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ohsohappy View Post
    That was the stupidest way to use an apologie. Seriously though, If you wanna go get STD's or something later on down the road, or if you want to be used, Be my guest, but you can't say that nobody told you so.
    Ohh. Well I'm sorry just in general. I have to let you know that I hve a hard time with guy situations so every time something happened I just like to be like I like him so let's try and make it work. But no I apologize for that.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #14

    Sep 20, 2009, 08:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovingmonkey14 View Post
    ohh. well I'm sorry just in general. I have to let you know that I hve a hard time with guy situations so everytime something happened I just like to be like I like him so let's try and make it work. but no I apologize for that.
    If you have been having a hard time with guys then REMOVE guys from the situation.

    Sheesh, I never went out on a date with a guy until I was 18 years old!
    Before that I hung out with people my OWN age because we generally had more in common and it was easier due to socialising at school or hanging out with both guys and girls in a GROUP situation outside of school.
    lovingmonkey14's Avatar
    lovingmonkey14 Posts: 39, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Sep 20, 2009, 08:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    If you have been having a hard time with guys then REMOVE guys from the situation.

    Sheesh, I never went out on a date with a guy until I was 18 years old!
    Before that I hung out with people my OWN age because we generally had more in common and it was easier due to socialising at school or hanging out with both guys and girls in a GROUP situation outside of school.
    Ohhh I see. But it's like in my school and hometown everyone hangs with everyone, like especially if you have older sibilings then it just makes your friend list longer. So it's hard not being friends with older or younger people. And yes removing guys from the situation would probably be the best, but so hard!
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #16

    Sep 20, 2009, 08:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovingmonkey14 View Post
    ohhh I see. but it's like in my school and hometown everyone hangs with everyone, like especially if you have older sibilings then it just makes ur friend list longer. so it's hard not being friends with older or younger people. and yes removing guys from the situation would probably be the best, but so hard!
    I understand that it's hard but perhaps you could come to some sort of compromise with your mother.

    You can hang out with this boy, or other boys as long as it is in a GROUP situation, meaning you can go to the movies with him but you must have other friends going with you as well.
    That way your mother would feel more comfortable as you are not going to be alone with him.

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