Ask Me Help Desk - A lesson about Canada

A lesson about Canada

Forget Rednecks, Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada.

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada.

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada.

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada.

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada.

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada.

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada.

If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada.

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada.

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada.

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
And road construction,
You may live in Canada.

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada.

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada.

If you actually understand these jokes,
You definitely live in Canada.

Lol, I defiantly live in Canada. (;

I KNEW the stories were true! :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

I KNEW the stories were true! :rolleyes:

Sadly NM, they are, that's why they're so funny. :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Sadly NM, they are, that's why they're so funny. :p

Or SAD... :eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Or SAD............:eek:

You learn to live with it.

Actually, why do I live here? :confused:

How's the weather down under M?

This is what happens to us Canadians when the weather is always bad. Look at my avatar...

EDIT: Okay changing it now. Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You learn to live with it.

Actually, why do I live here? :confused:

How's the weather down under M?

It's actually been very mild lately in Sydney , today its about 18C and sunny. Only 3 weeks of winter left :)

Joe
That's scary :eek:

Joe, I haven't done that in years! ;)

M, 18 degrees celsius? In winter? Really?

Can I stay with you for a while?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

M, 18 degrees celsius? In winter? Really?

Can I stay with you for a while?

Of course Alty , when I take you to the Pub people will laugh at me though for bringing a Bunny wiggling it's tushy with a carrott stuck up it's A55 :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Of course Alty , when I take you to the Pub people will laugh at me though for bringing a Bunny wiggling it's tushy with a carrott stuck up it's A55 :rolleyes:

That's not a carrot, that's my tail!

OMG, does it look like a carrot?

They'll laugh more when they hear my accent. ;)

Looks like a carrot to me ;)

OK got to go , cya guys :)

Shouldn't this thread be titled: "A Lesson Abote Canada"? :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Shouldn't this thread be titled: "A Lesson Abote Canada"? :p

Only if I was a Newfie NM.

I'm not.

We say about here in Alberta. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Looks like a carrot to me ;)

ok gotta go , cya guys :)

It's a cute little powder puff tail that just so happens to be orange. :(

Silly M.

Have a beer for me at the pub, K? :)

Aww... I want to go to Canada now... :(

It is too hot here!

Canada jokes eh?

Quote:

Originally Posted by HelpinHere

Aww... I wanna go to Canada now... :(

It is too hot here!

You wouldn't survive HH. You have to be born here if you want to live here.

Wait... I wasn't born here.

Now I understand! :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

Canada jokes eh?

Another misconception.

Eh is mainly used in Newfoundland, not Alberta. Very few Albertans say eh, no one says aboot, we actually talk like normal humans beings. :)

I say Eh all the time. Does that mean when I move to Alberta everybody will think I am newfie?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I say Eh all the time. Does that mean when i move to Alberta everybody will think i am newfie?

No, you'll blend Joe, no worries. ;)

If you move to Sherwood Park then you'll really blend.

One tip, if you do move to SP, if you get pulled over don't mention that you know me
I hate to see friends in jail. ;)

JH Your new avi is distubing! :eek:

Nah, I still think you all say Aboot, Eh and live in igloos ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

JH Your new avi is distubing! :eek:

Nah, I still think you all say Aboot, Eh and live in igloos ;)

And drink Molsen

No one drinks Molson anymore. Jeez, most of us drink canadian versions of american beer... or great local microbrewery beers.

Great list Alten, they're all true!

Joe, are you giving up being a maritimer?? Et tu, Brute? I'll be the only one!

Molson is for sissy's. ;)

Real Canadians drink Kokanee! :)

Not an east coast vs west coast battle! LOL!

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

No one drinks Molson anymore. Jeez, most of us drink canadian versions of american beer... or great local microbrewery beers.

Great list Alten, they're all true!

Joe, are you giving up being a maritimer??? et tu, Brute? I'll be the only one!

People have convinced me to go to the dark side of the moon lol

There is no going back now. Although I guess Labatt blue is not that bad, although I do enjoy my Moosehead Dry. Might have to stock up. (;

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

People have convinced me to go to the dark side of the moon lol

There is no going back now. Although I guess Labatt blue is not that bad, although I do enjoy my Moosehead Dry. Might have to stock up. (;

We have all that and more in Alberta Joe, you won't have to go without. ;)

Joe, did you post something?

It's blank. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

It's actually been very mild lately in Sydney , today its about 18C and sunny. Only 3 weeks of winter left :)

Joe
Thats scary :eek:

You call 18C "winter?" Lol!

This pretty much sums it all up. Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by s_cianci

You call 18C "winter?" Lol!

Exactly! That's summer! :D

I'm Canadian and I totally get nearly all of these jokes. Well said! I find 2 degrees warm when my American friends are freezing, but I find 30 degrees is like an oven when they find it pleasant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by earl237

I'm Canadian and I totally get nearly all of these jokes. Well said! I find 2 degrees warm when my American friends are freezing, but I find 30 degrees is like an oven when they find it pleasant.

30 degrees is not fit for man nor beast. Air conditioning is the only option when it gets that hot! ;)

3 degrees, it's a bit chilly, probably wouldn't wear shorts, but I don't need a jacket, or a long sleeve shirt.

Yes, I am Canadian! :D

Ha! It got to 39 Celsius here today, you wimps.

Hmmm,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

Ha! It got to 39 Celsius here today, you wimps.

OMG! That's hot enough to cook meat! How do you survive?

Are you melting?

You must be melting.

Wimps? Wait a minute.

How are you in -30 degrees celsius? You want to try it? We'll see who's a wimp. :D

I know how to wear a parka, and shorts, and long johns. So there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

I know how to wear a parka, and shorts, and long johns. So there.

See now, that's what makes you a wimp.

Canadians don't wear long johns, or a parka, until it gets to -40.

But long johns make such GREAT sleepwear