Here's the story:

So I'm going about my usual life in my job, basically worrying about nothing, and this girl suddenly decides to tell me about her issues in life about her toxic ex-husband etc. etc. etc. While doing this, she opens up a totally different side of her, and I begin to see her in a new light. We texted and chatted everyday (sometimes just chatting via messenger for 6 hours straight). I found out that we had tons of stuff in common.

Now last week, she suddenly grows cold ( since I know her very well, I know when she doesn't want to talk; one word text replies, other signs etc); I confronted her the other day about it and she says "i need space to enjoy my baby etc." She also said that after we talked about her problems through text, we kind of evolved into texting one another about everything and nothing (what's on TV, have you eaten etc.) She then said she felt awkward about replying when we texted like that. I said that my intentions for doing so were good, (yeah I know the saying about it sigh) and don't be a stranger and I'd be there for you should you still need me.

Thing is, there MAY be another guy in the picture; someone who is exactly like her ex-husband. She said that she had some sort of crush on him before, but said that since he was exactly like her ex, she said "not another one of those"; and then lately we found out that the guy had a crush on her too. Me and my friends are thinking this is the reason for the whole "space" speech.

So, make what you will of this mashed up story that wasn't supposed to happen in the first place if I hadn't listened to her. Should I give her the space she needs? And then what? Or am I just a guy she happened to talk to and dispose of after she's done with me?

Thing is, I kind of fell for her along the way. :(

Thanks in advance. :)

I say you go back to the way you were by not worrying about it. When you start trying to justify someone else's actions for something you're not even sure about then you're caring too much.

You may have been friendzowned from all the talking. Did you ever physically escalate? If not, then she might be getting bored with you.

Regardless, the right thing to do is chill back. If you try to convince her not to go out with him and that he's a bad guy, you'll only make her want him more.

Thanks reckless. Planning on doing the space thing by not contacting her PERIOD.

Physically escalate? No, she's not that kind of person :)

Reading this was mistake after mistake.

First of all you don't listen to a woman's problems. They are her problems, not yours so let her deal with them.

Second, why do you have 6 hours a day that you can text someone? Honestly, I'm not trying to be jerk but that comes off like middle school girl stuff.

Third. You are not mysterious. She knew exactly what she was getting with you. Same old thing. She text you, you text back. She whines about her ex, you listen.

Fourth, she probably is into the other guy. There's a reason she married her ex. There's a reason she can shut up about him. There's a reason she tells you about this other guy she's into and compares him to her ex. She's attracted to that. That guy doesn't spend 6 valuable hours of his day texting her. He puts her in her place. Even if he didn't, he still doesn't waste hour after hour doing that.

Ultimately what she wanted was someone to dump her problems on. In the future when a woman is dumping her ex issues on to you, flat out tell her you have better things to do with your time. Tell her not to disrespect you like that. Stand up for yourself, like her ex did.

You unknowingly put yourself in this situation, but see it for a great learning tool and get out from this dependence on their problems and start depending on your own concerns.

It wasn't good that you fell for her, but I guess that happens.

She was pretty much venting on you and just wanted someone to listen. I think she got a little interested in you too, but when she found out this new guy had feelings for her, she dropped you, sorry to say.

Though she doesn't like her ex, she is still attracted to that type of guy I guess, so its possible she is into him and may make the same mistake again, but its hers to make. She is not a child.

The best thing to do is go back to how it was before, just go about doing your own thing and relax. You don't need this kind of headache when its not really going to benefit you in any way.

You can do the nice thing and be there for her as a friend if you want, but that's your choice. Weight up the pros and cons before you do anything

Thanks chuff and blackvy for the replies. :) Currently ruminating about those opinions now; and for possible other answers to other questions I may have in my mind as well.

Good to hear that... take all the time you need... in the end, you have to do what's best for yourself...

One of my best friends was male (he died a few years ago). From the time we were pre-teens, all the way to adulthood, we confided in each other. Mostly about relationships, but we too, had much in common, that kept our relationship going- as friends.

For the woman who confided in you, she felt safe enough to share her personal history with you, and while you discovered you had much in common with her, there was no friendship. There was nothing there that she thought was worth pursuing beyond you being a sounding board, and a support to her.

If she comes around again, which she probably will, it will be to help her through the next drama. Most likely it will always be about her, and her needs, without regard to yours.

It may have taken her a while to come to the realization that you had developed feelings for her, because she was so self-centered. When she realized you could no longer fill a need in her life, she dropped you like a hot potato.

You were in second place the minute you started listening to her.

When a relationship such as it was, is pretty much 100% her and 0% you, your needs are not being met. Try next time to find someone who is still not over her past relationship, and heading down the same road with a clone.

You deserve better.

The problem as I see it is when you became her trusted girlfriend, and listened to her. You made it worse when you became so available. Not to late to disappear and get back to what you were doing before you became distracted.

At least keep things in perspective, being a friend, without the romance.

Little something about the situation that I didn't type in earlier due to lack of sleep:

There was this party last Saturday at the guy's place (timeline of this would be the night before we had "the talk"); so as usual I texted her asking if I could swing by to pick her up since I was in the area. She said no thanks she'd meet me at the guy's place and she'd go there by herself. Lo and behold, the guy's car pulls up into the driveway and she's there with him inside. So I just play it cool and act normal. Towards the end of the party, one of my friends asked her if she would stay the night; she replied "I know myself in situations like these; it would be best if i would go home". So that's why I asked to take her home. Basically I meant to save her from herself. I didn't tell her that, but God knows what could have happened since everybody's had a few drinks in them; all bets are off.

Basically I don't want her to hand out her heart to someone who's just like her ex and would hurt her. God knows the deep hole that we cooperated to save her from. ANd I wouldn't want her to go through the mental and physical anguish all over again from having a potential BF that loves to fool around (I know the guy personally as well).

Guys thanks for taking the time out to answer these questions that have been bugging my mind. I owe you people mas beers. :)

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am I just a guy she happened to talk to and dispose of after she's done with me?

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I would say yes.She was looking for a sounding board and nothing more.You have served your purpose and she has moved on.
My take anyway!

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

One of my best friends was male (he died a few years ago). From the time we were pre-teens, all the way to adulthood, we confided in eachother. Mostly about relationships, but we too, had much in common, that kept our relationship going- as friends.

For the woman who confided in you, she felt safe enough to share her personal history with you, and while you discovered you had much in common with her, there was no friendship. There was nothing there that she thought was worth persuing beyond you being a sounding board, and a support to her.

If she comes around again, which she probably will, it will be to help her through the next drama. Most likely it will always be about her, and her needs, without regard to yours.

It may have taken her a while to come to the realization that you had developed feelings for her, because she was so self-centered. When she realized you could no longer fill a need in her life, she dropped you like a hot potato.

You were in second place the minute you started listening to her.

When a relationship such as it was, is pretty much 100% her and 0% you, your needs are not being met. Try next time to find someone who is still not over her past relationship, and heading down the same road with a clone.

You deserve better.

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Thanks for this jake2008; cheers :)

How long have you known her and how long have you been chatting with her?

Are you wanting a romantic relationship or a friendship?

Are you confusing wanting to be a 'knight-in-shining armor' with deeper feelings? Sometimes, the desire to 'help' and be needed can be mistakes for deeper emotions. 'Love' based on 'saving' someone usually isn't 'love' for the person or healthy for any relationship, romantic or platonic. There is rarely a smooth transition from giving your all in 'helping' to letting the person stand on his/her own two feet. It often can end with the person being 'saved' feeling overwhelmed or smothered by all the 'help'.

I think you need to find someone who doesn't trigger a need to 'save' her at the beginning of the relationship.

Thanks cat1864; I talked it over with a friend and he said that I was probably "pre-programmed" to act like this (to be attuned to the female psyche, me growing up with a lot of sisters and all, naturally being protective etc.); but sometimes there are things that I can't see clearly.

Your reply has helped shed some light on what I'm feeling right now. Many thanks once again. :)

Sorry I didn't post this in my earlier reply; cat1864, to answer your earlier question, BTW I've known her for 2 years; I usually go around the office talking to people; and then we started texting about her issues with her ex and her baby etc. It started 11/26/2009 ( because I kept telling her to get back with her ex; this was before I knew how much the wounds ran deep)

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Originally Posted by wreck

but sometimes there are things that i can't see clearly.

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That's why friends are good to have. They can help keep us from needing to 'saved' from ourselves. I am glad you are open to looking at the situation from different perspectives and not stuck looking at it from just your own.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

That's why friends are good to have. They can help keep us from needing to 'saved' from ourselves. I am glad you are open to looking at the situation from different perspectives and not stuck looking at it from just your own.

Good luck.

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Many thanks. Sometimes something's right in front of me and the only person who doesn't want to see it is me. :(

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Originally Posted by wreck

Basically i dont want her to hand out her heart to someone who's just like her ex and would hurt her. God knows the deep hole that we cooperated to save her from. ANd i wouldnt want her to go through the mental and physical anguish all over again from having a potential BF that loves to fool around (i know the guy personally as well).

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Wow.

Dude, you are an emotional whipping boy. This woman used you and now your worried about her handing her heart out to someone who will hurt her... the same girl who hurt you.

Let's review what this guy above wrote...

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Originally Posted by chuff

Reading this was mistake after mistake.

First of all you don't listen to a woman's problems. They are her problems, not yours so let her deal with them.

Second, why do you have 6 hours a day that you can text someone? Honestly, I'm not trying to be jerk but that comes off like middle school girl stuff.

Third. You are not mysterious. She knew exactly what she was getting with you. Same old thing. She text you, you text back. She whines about her ex, you listen.

Fourth, she probably is into the other guy. There's a reason she married her ex. There's a reason she can shut up about him. There's a reason she tells you about this other guy she's into and compares him to her ex. She's attracted to that. That guy doesn't spend 6 valuable hours of his day texting her. He puts her in her place. Even if he didn't, he still doesn't waste hour after hour doing that.

Ultimately what she wanted was someone to dump her problems on. In the future when a woman is dumping her ex issues on to you, flat out tell her you have better things to do with your time. Tell her not to disrespect you like that. Stand up for yourself, like her ex did.

You unknowingly put yourself in this situation, but see it for a great learning tool and get out from this dependence on their problems and start depending on your own concerns.

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Thanks for reinforcing that, chuff. Been doing some thinking lately and trying to come up for air. It's a slow process, but given time, I'll probably resurface from this. Like the previous posts say, she's not a child to be taken care of. It's my fault that I cared too much and built most of my waking moments around her problems and her baggage. I guess in time, I'll find the strength to write my own book and stop reading hers. :)

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Originally Posted by wreck

thanks for reinforcing that, chuff.

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No a problem. Sometimes we have the answers but we ignore them.

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Originally Posted by wreck

Been doing some thinking lately and trying to come up for air. It's a slow process, but given time, i'll probably resurface from this.

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Not probably. You will. Everybody goes through this. I've been through this, the guy sitting next to you at work has been through this, Brad Pitt has been through this. It feels like you are alone in the feelings but you are not.

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Originally Posted by wreck

Like the previous posts say, she's not a child to be taken care of. It's my fault that I cared too much and built most of my waking moments around her problems and her baggage.

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Yes and No. Yes it's your fault you built most of your waking moments around her, and yes it is your fault... to a degree. You didn't know the rules or dynamics of this type of relationship. That is not your fault. You logically (male brain) thought that if you helped her she would appreciate you more. She has an emotional (female brain) brain that was carrying around a lot of emotional baggage because she's to stupid to see when a guy is using her and had to find an outlet to get rid of it. You became that outlet. Now that is your fault, but when I was 5 I didn't know how to ride a bike and fell over and got hurt. I could have either said that was my fault, how stupid of me to think I can do this (which would have been true) or I could have said "That hurt, but when this heals I'm going to conquer this. 25 years later I know how to ride a bike. This pain can can suck for no reason, or this pain can be, "this sucks now, but when I conquer this and demand more of myself as not to put myself in this position in the future, I will be in control at all times." Just like riding a bike.

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Originally Posted by wreck

I guess in time, i'll find the strength to write my own book and stop reading hers. :)

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Exactly. WHile you have already started writing yours. It has gone something like "guy show loyalty to woman who uses it against him. Guy cares more about her then himself." So that's essentially chapter 1. The rest of the book can be, "guy gets message and turns into a confident man that is only as loyal as woman are to him. Guy becomes his own man where time is valued by all those around him. Guy offers solutions to problems one time and one time only. If woman refuses to take advice, guy no longer wastes his time as that is a sign of disrespect. Guy no longer takes disrespect. Guy becomes hero to other woman who appreciate that he is so emotionally strong."

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Originally Posted by chuff

No a problem. Sometimes we have the answers but we ignore them.




Not probably. You will. Everybody goes through this. I've been through this, the guy sitting next to you at work has been through this, Brad Pitt has been through this. It feels like you are alone in the feelings but you are not.



Yes and No. Yes it's your fault you built most of your waking moments around her, and yes it is your fault......to a degree. You didn't know the rules or dynamics of this type of relationship. That is not your fault. You logically (male brain) thought that if you helped her she would appreciate you more. She has an emotional (female brain) brain that was carrying around a lot of emotional baggage because she's to stupid to see when a guy is using her and had to find an outlet to get rid of it. You became that outlet. Now that is your fault, but when I was 5 I didn't know how to ride a bike and fell over and got hurt. I could have either said that was my fault, how stupid of me to think I can do this (which would have been true) or I could have said "That hurt, but when this heals I'm going to conquer this. 25 years later I know how to ride a bike. This pain can can suck for no reason, or this pain can be, "this sucks now, but when I conquer this and demand more of myself as not to put myself in this position in the future, I will be in control at all times." Just like riding a bike.



Exactly. WHile you have already started writing yours. It has gone something like "guy show loyalty to woman who uses it against him. Guy cares more about her then himself." So that's essentially chapter 1. The rest of the book can be, "guy gets message and turns into a confident man that is only as loyal as woman are to him. Guy becomes his own man where time is valued by all those around him. Guy offers solutions to problems one time and one time only. If woman refuses to take advice, guy no longer wastes his time as that is a sign of disrespect. Guy no longer takes disrespect. Guy becomes hero to other woman who appreciate that he is so emotionally strong."

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Awesome words chuff. Thank you SO much for this. :)

Bit of an update:

So it's official, she and the guy are a couple. I've actually accepted this. Bit of a question though, last Saturday when we went on a company outing, the girl was sort of teary eyed (as relayed to me by one of our friends) when she saw that I was standing alone outside the restaurant where the team ate. She told one of our officemates that she wanted to run outside to talk to me, but she didn't know what to tell me. One of our common friends talked to her about us and she got teary-eyed when talking to him as well. I have no idea why, as I've not yet talked to her since the time we had "the talk" ( I believe that this would not be the proper time); I've been reading into the NC threads and it seems that this would be the proper thing to do since I am focusing on myself right now and taking all of your opinions to heart.

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Originally Posted by wreck

Bit of an update:

So it's official, she and the guy are a couple. I've actually accepted this. Bit of a question though, last Saturday when we went on a company outing, the girl was sort of teary eyed (as relayed to me by one of our friends) when she saw that I was standing alone outside the restaurant where the team ate. She told one of our officemates that she wanted to run outside to talk to me, but she didn't know what to tell me. One of our common friends talked to her about us and she got teary-eyed when talking to him as well. I have no idea why, as I've not yet talked to her since the time we had "the talk" ( I believe that this would not be the proper time); i've been reading into the NC threads and it seems that this would be the proper thing to do since I am focusing on myself right now and taking all of your opinions to heart.

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If you remember nothing else from this site please remember this. HER PROBLEMS ARE HER PROBLEMS. Do not get concerned with her crying. Do not start to make it mean something it is not. Do get focused on what she does or says.

She has created enough issues for you to learn from at the moment and now she's adding to her own cruelty by bringing more drama to this situation. A crying woman knows her actions are going to get back to her ex. That's no mistake. It is now up to you to man up. Showing concern, even if you are, to this person is no longer your problem. HER PROBLEMS ARE HER PROBLEMS.

Sounds like you still have some hope that you can get together. I think this thread is an appropriate read for you: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html now that she's in a new relationship.

Chuff said it all, her problems are her problems. I know you care about her, but you do not need to concern yourself with her problems. You said it yourself in an earlier post, she's not some child that needs to be taken care of.

To all the people who posted, Thank you again for the great advice. I actually reread the posts from time to time to reinforce the thoughts and opinions my friends chimed in with as well. I'm actually making these words my "watchwords" (as originally posted by chuff):

"guy gets message and turns into a confident man that is only as loyal as woman are to him. Guy becomes his own man where time is valued by all those around him. Guy offers solutions to problems one time and one time only. If woman refuses to take advice, guy no longer wastes his time as that is a sign of disrespect. Guy no longer takes disrespect. Guy becomes hero to other woman who appreciate that he is so emotionally strong."


BTW @I wish, I read your thread/story; I saw some similarities between your situation and mine.

This line hit me straight on:
Finally, this is a bittersweet one though, but at the end of no contact, we get a better idea of who your true friends are. The ones who were willing to stand by us, as oppose to the ones who turn away.

Cheers :)

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Originally Posted by wreck

To all the people who posted, Thank you again for the great advice. I actually reread the posts from time to time to reinforce the thoughts and opinions my friends chimed in with as well. I'm actually making these words my "watchwords" (as originally posted by chuff):

"guy gets message and turns into a confident man that is only as loyal as woman are to him. Guy becomes his own man where time is valued by all those around him. Guy offers solutions to problems one time and one time only. If woman refuses to take advice, guy no longer wastes his time as that is a sign of disrespect. Guy no longer takes disrespect. Guy becomes hero to other woman who appreciate that he is so emotionally strong."

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You are emotionally a lot stronger then you give yourself credit for. The funny thing is I think you actually know it but you are also stuck in a situation where you care too much for someone who doesn't care about herself and who has no idea how to care for somebody else. I won't lie, I've been there myself. I also know that I've eventually had to man up and say, "I'm better off alone then to be sucked her emotional baggage handler." You are better off alone. Now where you can be smarter then me, and believe me I hope that you are, is you can let the emotions die down, and then you can look back, ask questions, and clearly study what happened here. Then you can learn from it and do the exact opposite for the next girl. There are 3 billion woman on the planet. I can promise you there will be a next girl despite what you think at the moment. At the end of the day, with any female you are with, you give only what you get, and in fact you may want to only give 40%. You never, ever take her disrespect. Trust me, if you stand up for yourself in a firm but not angry way a woman will take note and she will start respecting you. If you tell a woman that is b!tching at you about her ex to go get a therapist she will take note. If you tell a woman you do NOT have 6 hours for her she will take note. If you tell a woman who is talking about her ex all the time that maybe she was the problem, she will take note. Let me be clear, I'm not suggesting you become a jerk but I am suggesting you tell a woman exactly where her limits are. If you do, and then you follow them she will not give you the grief you received from this one.

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Originally Posted by chuff

You are emotionally a lot stronger then you give yourself credit for. The funny thing is I think you actually know it but you are also stuck in a situation where you care to much for someone who doesn't care about herself and who has no idea how to care for somebody else. I won't lie, I've been there myself. I also know that I've eventually had to man up and say, "I'm better off alone then to be sucked her emotional baggage handler." You are better off alone. Now where you can be smarter then me, and believe me I hope that you are, is you can let the emotions die down, and then you can look back, ask questions, and clearly study what happened here. Then you can learn from it and do the exact opposite for the next girl. There are 3 billion woman on the planet. I can promise you there will be a next girl despite what you think at the moment. At the end of the day, with any female you are with, you give only what you get, and in fact you may want to only give 40%. You never, ever take her disrespect. Trust me, if you stand up for yourself in a firm but not angry way a woman will take note and she will start respecting you. If you tell a woman that is b!tching at you about her ex to go get a therapist she will take note. If you tell a woman you do NOT have 6 hours for her she will take note. If you tell a woman who is talking about her ex all the time that maybe she was the problem, she will take note. Let me be clear, I'm not suggesting you become a jerk but I am suggesting you tell a woman exactly where her limits are. If you do, and then you follow them she will not give you the grief you received from this one.

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Thank you chuff. I'm actually about 80% healed by now, and every day the sun seems to shine brighter. If I encounter this again, I'll firmly remind that someone that I am not her emotional Skycap or bellhop :)

There will indeed come a time when she will talk to me about what happened; I know this for a fact. And when that time comes, I've already analyzed and thought about what to tell her. I plan on telling her in a nice affirmative way about what happened, and should she need any more advice, that if she walks all over me with her issues and DOES NOT listen to what my advice is, that to not come to me ever again as indeed that would be a sign of disrespect (of course all told to her in a positive manner). And I'll also tell her that I've found peace in that and I hope she can find hers. :)

Well, it's been 2 weeks of NC; and strangely I feel better. I go out with my friends more and I have coffee once a week with one of my female friends who helped me through with what happened on the 15th (when they officially came out as a couple on our company outing); we basically decompress and talk to each other about her problems and mine, sort of a mini "support group"; and I haven't checked anything about her online (FB or any other social networking sites that we may have common accounts in) for 2 weeks as well. Probably just kicking back for some "me-time" until the time "the talk part 2" rolls around; by then I'll be ready with what to tell her. :)

Thanks I wish, will do :)

Why does there have to be a talk part 2. Just don't talk to her.

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Originally Posted by chuff

Why does there have to be a talk part 2. Just don't talk to her.

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Yup, I'm not talking to her at all; I'm currently exercising NC at the moment.
Knowing her, she will eventually initiate first contact. It's not that I'm waiting for it, I'm just prepared with what to say when the time comes. :)

(I'm actually wondering if what I typed just came out right :confused: )

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Originally Posted by wreck

Yup, I'm not talking to her at all; I'm currently exercising NC at the moment.
Knowing her, she will eventually initiate first contact. It's not that I'm waiting for it, I'm just prepared with what to say when the time comes. :)

(I'm actually wondering if what i typed just came out right :confused: )

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Let her intiate contact. In fact I know exactly when she's going to do it. I can tell you with pin point accurancy and I've never met her.

She's going to contact you the moment the guy she is currently screwing drops her. Then she is going to come running back to you and want you to listen about how much she's learned and how much she's grown as a person and how she wants you to pretend like this break never happened. I know this because like I told you before, I used to let myself get used a lot and I heard those lines... sadly sometimes more then once. What you need to do is get it now, not years from now, but right now. You are to valuable to be her or any other woman's personal emotional garbage dump. The moment she contacts you, all you have to do is say I'm in the middle of something, let me call you back. Then you never call. If she calls again, repeat.

I know what you want. You want to tell her off. I agree with you that she needs to be told off, but if you start playing that game you are going to play into her. What hurts you most isn't the fact she moved on, it is how she was so cold about it. So you have earned the right to do it back and that is by NOT engaging her in a coversation or argument and at the same time letting her know you've moved on, by not providing any of your valuable time to her.

Point taken, chuff. Aside from that, what do you think would be the right thing to do? I know that "the right thing to do" may be very subjective at the moment especially in situations like these; I was thinking something more along the lines of me doing something that would leave everyone in this situation happy and without regrets. Or at least everyone walks away from this having learned something (BTW I have learned A LOT from the previous posts, thanks once again to the people who posted their take on this). Or is this impossible? :confused:

My apologies again for the numerous questions :)

As previously posted, I would also like to come out of this "the better man", and not come off as a jerk. :)

Oh I know who the jerk here is and jerk is one of the nicer things I'd call her. But you are so worried about everyone being happy in this situation, but you are not focused on YOUR happiness.

You have it set up in your mind that if you make her happy in the end that will somehow make you happy. But that sets you up for failure. What if she never calls back. Then you'll feel like you wasted your time waiting for her. What if she does call back and dumps more of the "men are pigs" BS on you. Then you feel used and disrespected. None of those benefit you. You don't have to worry about her happiness. Focus on yourself. It is not selfish to take care of you. If I asked you for money every day, maybe at first you'd give me some, but at some point you'd be like, "Dude, your capable of doing it on your own, do something for yourself."

That applies here. You do not need her to make you happy. You do not need a certain situation to make you happy. Focus on yourself and what brings happiness to you. Focus on how you can build a stronger core, focus on how you can notice when you are being disrespected and then correct it. You gave hours of your life for this "woman" and she abused it. Okay, no biggie it happens. But now you must say "I was gracious enough to give her the one chance, now I'm going to start being gracious to me." Give to yourself. Give yourself the time you want to give to her. Give the permission to yourself that you can move on. Give the strength... actually just notice it, you've got all this but you just want to believe it comes from her or a situation involving her. It comes from internally.

Digesting the above replies, and it's slowly dawning on me. I'm one of those guys whose gears grind slow but exceedingly fine if you may. :)

Trust me it took me about 10 years and finally it dawned on me that a pattern kept repeating itself before it clicked with me. Don't take 10 years.

Thanks chuff. Cheers :)

Going on 3 weeks of NC. No checking social networking sites, chats, text messages, zip, zero, nada, zilch. For all intents and purposes, I've gone off the grid (except to my real friends and of course this site).

Granted, there are the hard moments such as seeing something or doing something that we used to do together; those still hurt like jabs to the side, but the pain passes. I guess my saving grace in times like this is thinking that I will find someone better; someone who will not treat me like that and someone who'll see my true worth. I will RISE ABOVE THIS. :)

Geez, if my past self from 10 years ago could meet my present self, my past self would probably kick my present self in the arse hahaha! :D

Been going around the site reading other similar stories and gleaning lessons from each of them. Also starting Muay Thai (kickboxing) training next week hehehe for fitness and basically "mind-clearing" purposes. :)

One of my female friends said something to me that I fondly remember:

"If you're going through hell..

..keep going."

:)

Update:

We have this company thing this weekend, and the girl told one of our mutual friends that she'd like to talk to me on either Saturday night.

Mulling over what and what not to do, but not to the extent that I'm losing sleep over it. :)

BTW still enjoying NC ;)

We're leaving in a bit. Wish me luck; I'll update this thread when we get back from this weekend's trip. :)