Not feeling strong enough to do NC
Hello - after reading some other posts it is clear to me that I need to go into NC, but I just don't know how I can do it!
It's a long story so I won't go into all the details. Basically for the past year we have fought and fought, broken up numerous times. This time he had told me he is moving out and that he is "done". He says he still loves me but that love it not enough and that we are not good for each other in a relationship. We were friends for years before this so that makes it even harder.
Our last fight he said that he is moving out because he is in his last year of university and said the only thing that would make him fail is "us". He said that him and I equal fighting and that being apart from us is the only thing left to do.
So I pushed him to define what moving out was. And he said that he needed the next year without us but if we work after that we work, if we don't, we don't.
I have made the mistake of calling him everyday since trying to talk to him and understand whether there is a chance in the future or if this is it and I need to move on. He says its not fair to make me wait and that I should go be happy and do what I need to do.
So last call went bad and he was basically like "why are you calling me? You have an agenda and are thinking that all will be fine and I will move back in. But I am not. I can't be with you right now - we are so bad for eachother. I am going to change my phone number if you don't stop calling". -- last week he was calling me to chat like normal but after our talk where I was pushing him as to whether this was a "break" or a "break up" I feel I pushed him to far.
SOOOOOOO - NC is the only answer I think. I just don't think I am strong enough to do it - or strong enough to tell that little glimmer of hope to shut up and that it is over. I am soooooo lost right now.