Why am I so obsessed and jealous of my husband's past? HELP...
My husband and I have been together for a year. Two years prior to our relationship, my husband got out of a one year and a half long distance relationship with his ex-Fiance'. They were in love but things didn't really work out due to the pressure of being far away from each other, over time things got worse and she broke it off with him two weeks prior to the wedding !
I am sure he was crushed but he also moved on. I know he loves me so much; he expresses it in words and actions. But every time I ask him about his past he gets kind of upset and tells me that past is past and that choosing to be with his ex was a mistake and he regrets it and hates to be reminded of it !
My question is why am I so obsessed and Jealous that he was in love with someone before he loved me... What if he STILL loves her or loved her more, what if they were more compatible, what if they had more fun together or what if he was attracted to her more, and if it was a mistake just like he said, why did he stick around in that relationship for a year and a half? I know she was gorgeous and definitely was his type... What if what he had with her was more special that what we have now?!
I just want this feeling to go away and start living a good marriage.. I'm tired and paranoid all the time cause of this subject, I keep wondering what if...
I may sound childish but I really need some help cause this is starting to affect my marriage... btw I'm 27 and he's 32 years old, Thank You :)
Comment on talaniman's post
You're right,, it may be related to issues I have from my own past and not his..
Comment on jessi72's post
The thing is, I'm 27 and I've never been dumped before ! I really don't know how it feels. I was in a couple of long relationships few years back and I was the one who ended them... I don't know where all this insecurity is coming from ! The lack of experience may be what making me so insecure and paranoid
Comment on talaniman's post
I was in love with someone for a few years but I had to let him go for some personal reasons. A few months after our break up he got married to someone he didn't even know. Although he's married but it didn't stop him from sending me messages telling me how much he misses me and will always love me... I stopped any sort of communication with him but it scares me that my husband turns out to be the same as this guy and might still have feelings for his ex... that's my issue
Comment on jessi72's post
The lack of confidence is making you paranoid. Look elsewhere in your existence, you are definitely not satisfied with something - education/career/looks/etc. I used to be insanely jealous when I was dissatisfied with my education or my career. Once you get everything on track, you'll see there's no need for jealousy as you'll see yourself as a great asset and he will look at you in the same manner.