Ask Me Help Desk - Any ideas for my song?

Any ideas for my song?

Okay hey guys, it's the summer and I'm bored and I love music and nothing to do.

Perfect opportunity to write a song. I've been writing A lot of lyrics and music but they are bits and I give up on them. Its time to write one FULL song and I'm not starting on a different one until I finish my first song.

I need your help on helping me write some lyrics.

This is what I got so far.

Chorus:

I've always been the same
Its you not me who's changed
You're falling out of place
I hope you find your way

Its kind of a song for the ex.

Any imputs would be nice and will be recognized if this song somehow makes it big lol (I doubt it though, I am not a professional I'm just a musician ready to be found)

How about something like this... it doesn't rhyme, but its just an idea:

I remember the day we parted
I didn't say a word
You said you had to leave me now
I wasn't what you wanted

You told me how I used to be
You told me how I'm not
I stood in front of you in silence
But I was screaming my own thoughts...

(Chorus)

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackVY

How about something like this... it doesn't rhyme, but its just an idea:

I remember the day we parted
I didn't say a word
You said you had to leave me now
I wasn't what you wanted

You told me how I used to be
You told me how I'm not
I stood infront of you in silence
But I was screaming my own thoughts...

(Chorus)

Wow lol is that your own work black? It sounds pretty awesome! Lol I don't know if I can pull it off though I might have to rearrange some stuff lol

Are you in a band or something? Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

Wow lol is that your own work black? It sounds pretty awesome! lol i dont know if i can pull it off though i might have to rearrange some stuff lol

Are you in a band or something? lol

Haha.. yeah its my own stuff... I'm sitting here at work and just read your lyrics and just thought of putting a few words together. Lol! Didn't even know the tune or rhythm of your song, but oh well, if you could use some of those words, then go for it.

Yeah I expected you to change some of the words around, but I just wanted to give you a possible idea of how the song could go. Since the chorus is that you haven't changed, well, there had to have been a break up and she must have said you changed and the reason you are singing the song now if to let her know things you didn't say when she was breaking up with you...

Haha! Nah, I'm not in a band, I'm a boring software engineer... Lol! But I used to play the guitar a few years ago... just for fun... :)

In a way I don't care
,in a way I do
Back then if you left,
I knew id miss you

Times change my dear
And people do to
That we cannot change
... ill never forget you

(just throwing that in there don't know if you wanted it to rhyme or not :D)

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackVY

Haha.. yeah its my own stuff... I'm sitting here at work and just read your lyrics and just thought of putting a few words together. Lol! Didn't even know the tune or rhythm of your song, but oh well, if you could use some of those words, then go for it.

Yeah I expected you to change some of the words around, but I just wanted to give you a possible idea of how the song could go. Since the chorus is that you haven't changed, well, there had to have been a break up and she must have said you changed and the reason you are singing the song now if to let her know things you didn't say when she was breaking up with you...

Haha! Nah, I'm not in a band, I'm a boring software engineer... Lol! But I used to play the guitar a few years ago... just for fun... :)

lol I would ask you if you wanted to create a band but you live in australia, on the other side of the world. =P Canada here lol

But yah here's a little background information. She told me I wasn't the same person as when she met me and things aren't the same anymore. She was cheating on me behind my back and was telling me lies of where she was. Her friends became more important and they told her how she doesn't go well with me and kept setting her up with this guy in their groupie. I chased her for a while and realized there's nothing I can do and its time to go on with my life. She looked for every excuse to leave me and I begged her not to go and things just got too bad I couldn't take the pain anymore.

Yah sorry it was a little long but yah that was the situation. First love and everything and it was the hardest thing I had to do in my life.

Now I only found her as an inspiration for this song I'm writing. =P

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

in a way i dont care
,in a way i do
back then if you left,
i knew id miss you

times change my dear
and people do to
that we cannot change
....ill never forget you

(just throwing that in there dont know if you wanted it to rhyme or not :D)

Awesome albear! I like some of the stuff. Do you mind if I throw in a few lines here and there from it? =P and ill throw in some from black's too and see what I can mix up! Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

lol i would ask you if you wanted to create a band but you live in australia, on the other side of the world. =P Canada here lol

But yah heres a little background information. She told me i wasnt the same person as when she met me and things arent the same anymore. She was cheating on me behind my back and was telling me lies of where she was. Her friends became more important and they told her how she doesnt go well with me and kept setting her up with this guy in their groupie. I chased her for a while and realized theres nothing i can do and its time to go on with my life. She looked for every excuse to leave me and i begged her not to go and things just got too bad i couldnt take the pain anymore.

Yah sorry it was a little long but yah that was the situation. First love and everything and it was the hardest thing i had to do in my life.

Now i only found her as an inspiration for this song im writing. =P

Haha... yeah, on the other side of the world, so unless it was an internet band, that might not work out too well. Lol! But all good, if I can help with the lyrics, I'm glad

Sounds like the typical story of guy meets girl, all is good, but girl falls out of love and finds someone else, leaving guy with his heart ripped out. But its nice that you do wish she finds her way, most guys wouldn't.

Musicians get their inspirations from lots of places. Just imagine you make it big one day and this girl hears the song... she will be so shocked and embarrassed. Lol! But I like albear's lyrics too. Maybe should try to incorporate some of that too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

Awesome albear! i like some of the stuff. Do you mind if i throw in a few lines here and there from it? =P and ill throw in some from black's too and see what i can mix up! lol

HOW DARE YOU MUTILATE MY POETIC CREATIONS.! :mad:... can you imagine :D

Anyhoo in all seriousness its your song mate, if some of it can be put to use go for it :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackVY

Haha... yeah, on the other side of the world, so unless it was an internet band, that might not work out too well. Lol! But all good, if I can help with the lyrics, I'm glad

Sounds like the typical story of guy meets girl, all is good, but girl falls out of love and finds someone else, leaving guy with his heart ripped out. But its nice that you do wish she finds her way, most guys wouldn't.

Musicians get their inspirations from lots of places. Just imagine you make it big one day and this girl hears the song... she will be so shocked and embarrassed. Lol! But I like albear's lyrics too. Maybe should try to incorporate some of that too.

I know! I hope she hears this one day on the radio and be shocked! Lol. Actually when I mean I hope she finds her way I kind of mean that and I kind of meant if she can actually do it with such a cold heart =P but I would say I'm over her now, well accepted that its over.

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

I know! I hope she hears this one day on the radio and be shocked! lol. Actually when i mean i hope she finds her way i kinda mean that and i kinda meant if she can actually do it with such a cold heart =P but i would say im over her now, well accepted that its over.

Then it's a good idea to use the first stanza of albear's lyrics, Maybe you could change the end of it to be something like I'm really over you...

Quote albear:

In a way I don't care
,in a way I do
Back then if you left,
I knew id miss you

Times change my dear
And people do to
My feelings for you cannot change
Because girl I'm over you...

Lol! Just thought might shock the girl even more... lol

Yea to me that sounds much better :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

HOW DARE YOU MUTILATE MY POETIC CREATIONS.!!!!:mad:.....................can you imagine :D

anyhoo in all seriousness its your song mate, i tried to help and if some of it can be put to use go for it :)

lol albear! You do have awesome poetic creations ill give you that but sometimes I can't pull something that good off lol!! I got to do it my own way =P

Okay guys ill play around with your contributions and ill post it here whenever to see if you guys like it or not. XD

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

yea to me that sounds much better :)

Haha... I'm sure it could sound better than that, but this is just rough stuff.. just throwing around ideas.. I guess we are trying to get across the fact that this girl thought the guy changed and so she left, but she is the one who messed up and now she has to face the music so to speak... lol

Songs of scorn are always fun... the best part is the punchline... always unexpected in a long that starts all loving and romantic... :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

Okay guys ill play around with your contributions and ill post it here whenever to see if you guys like it or not. XD

Lol sounds good... play around and go crazy... :)

If I could describe the relationship it was like one step forward and two steps back. Im caught between what she's wanting from me and if I give that to her I just might disappear. It was never enough and I couldn't change her mind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

lol albear! you do have awesome poetic creations ill give you that but sometimes i can't pull something that good off lol!!! i gotta do it my own way =P

Fair do's, no worries :)
Good luck :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

if i could describe the relationship it was like one step forward and two steps back. Im caught between what she's wanting from me and if i give that to her i just might disappear. It was never enough and i couldnt change her mind.

So mention something about that.

I gave you all I could,
It never was enough,
I tried my best to be the best,
But you never saw my heart...

okay! If you guys come up with something that sounds cool let me know =P

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

okay! if you guys come up with something that sounds cool let me know =P

Cool cool... work hard... enjoy, and let us know what you come up with when you do :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackVY

Cool cool... work hard... enjoy, and let us know what you come up with when you do :)

Imagine if she hears this song on the radio one day, I would love to see her facial expression lol.

AHHHH no more day dreaming!! >_< Ill just work on the song for now =P

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

Imagine if she hears this song on the radio one day, i would love to see her facial expression lol.

AHHHH no more day dreaming!!! >_< Ill just work on the song for now =P

Haha... I'm picturing the dropping of her jaw... and the reddening of her face... lol!

All good... work on the song... see how it goes... best of luck... :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

okay! if you guys come up with something that sounds cool let me know =P

Will do :)

Okay guys I decided not to write a song about the ex. Im currently working on a new piece and I hope this will finally be the one I complete.

This song is about a journey through life, only the simple things matter the most, reaching out for your dreams.

Any ideas on what are some things I can sing about? I like something classy, well worded yet simple and original.

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

Okay guys i decided not to write a song about the ex. Im currently working on a new piece and i hope this will finally be the one i complete.

This song is about a journey through life, only the simple things matter the most, reaching out for your dreams.

Any ideas on what are some things i can sing about? I like something classy, well worded yet simple and original.

Are you looking for a title or a subject within life?

Cause I kind of liked 'simple things' as a title

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

are you looking fora title or a subject within life?

cause i kinda liked 'simple things' as a title

Well I kind of got a chorus down. I got a title too. Just need some stuff to talk about in the verses. Thanks!

k, any chance of seeing the chorus, it would probably help with writing things that link to it

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

k, any chance of seeing the chorus, it would probably help with writing things that link to it

Sure. It goes likethis

Ill be damned if you came all this way,
And you're still not free.
All you got to do is believe,
And reach for your dreams.

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

Sure. It goes likethis

Ill be damned if you came all this way,
and you're still not free.
All you gotta do is believe,
and reach for your dreams.

Hmmm maybe a verse per stage in life

Quote:

Originally Posted by albear

hmmm maybe a verse per stage in life

hmmm well I haven't exactly been through all the stages yet lol

but you got any ideas of what are some stuff I can write? =P

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

hmmm well i havent exactly been through all the stages yet lol

but you got any ideas of what are some stuff i can write? =P

Child stage - big events and your dreams

Young adult stage - big events and dreams (notice the change)

Adulthood - what you think your dreams will be, kind of looking to the future sort of thing (and notice the change)

Old age - what your dreams would be then and maybe regrets if you didn't manage to ahieve them before you die

That's a rough out line of what I was thinking of, soz my minds blank on lyrics

Wow! I wonder how I missed this thread when it started?

Thanks!

Thanks albear. It started a few weeks ago I reckon, clough lol

No worries :)

I'm sorry that I haven't been around much, all! Have been ill an been in the hospital like I was before for a brief period.

I hate it when they stick me with all of those needles!

Thanks!

Alrighty guys its been a while but I've finally written some verses on top of the chorus I had before guys.

Here's how it goes I hope it doesn't sound too lame lol

All This Way:

Just move along when hope is gone tonight
You take a walk in something called life
It has its ups and dows and slides
Dont you fall apart this time

Ill be damned if you came all this way
And you're still not free
All you gotta do is believe
And reach for your dreams

Just sing along when pain is gone tonight
The stars are shining bright for you
Dont you carry on this lonely fight
And fight for what is true....

Ill be damned if you came all this way
And you're still not free
All you gotta do is believe
And reach for your dreams

What do you guys think? Any touch ups do you think would make it sound better? And also I need some help on the bridge =P Thanks!

All right guys, here's a raw version of my song. Thanks for all your help, special thanks to amhd. I hope I'm not that very bad of a singer =P. Some support and constructive crticism would be appreciated lol.

YouTube - All this way Acoustic (original)

That's not half bad none, like it, maybe a bit of work on getting the right pitch towards the end of the lines, but other than that, t'was all right :)

Lmao albear. Was it horrible? XD

I need some real honesty here, if its really bad I need to know lols