Ask Me Help Desk - I want to write a song

I want to write a song

Heyy
Can any one help me write a song I want to write one for my mom but I'm not very good please help me

Sam
Xx:confused:

Hi, ArticMonkey!

Thanks for posting something here as I suggested on the other thread. I will be back on later tonight in around three hours. I'm not home on my own computer.

To start the lyrics of the song, please just post here some ideas in words or sentences about how you feel about your mom, like maybe things that you like about her and why you are writing the song.

The thoughts don't necessarily have to be in any order - just random ideas, sentences and single words by themselves are even okay. Then, we can go from there to develop the song.

Just let your ideas flow and please don't get caught up that everything might need to be perfect right off the bat.

Okay? :)

Thanks!

I'll be around here on Friday night Sam, in case you would like to work on something. I am looking forward to working with you on your song!

Thanks
Do writing songs just start with writing sayings or a coupple of words that have been made up ?

I can sing other artists songs fine but I just can never come up with one of my own

Why do you call?
Why do you stare?
Why do you tell me to beware?
Why do you hug?
Why do you kiss?
Why do you always miss?
Is it because you love me?
Or is it because you don't?
Or is it because you won't?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArticMonkey

Why do you call?
Why do you stare?
Why do you tell me to beware?
Why do you hug?
Why do you kiss?
Why do you always miss?
Is it because you love me?
Or is it because you don't?
Or is it beacuse you won't?

Hi, Sam!

I'm here right now. Are those questions above the ideas for your song? Also, why are you wanting to write the song?

Knowing the answer to especially the second question will help me to know which direction we need to go here.

You already appear to have a good knack for forming some kind of structure with what you write.

Thanks!

OK I love writing poetry and that's justa poem I wrote but I want to write songs because music is the only way to express myself and I want to no what it feels like to have everyone on who you are

No that's a poem and I was wanting to put it in to a song OK forget about the one for mom I can do that later but I just want to make a song and have music and be able to name something as mine insteed of singing some one else's work it gets kind of boring like I want my own label

Quote:

OK i love writing poetry and that's justa poem i wrote but i want to write songs because music is the only way to express myself and i want to no what it feels like to have everyone on who you are

You can have a lot of people know who you are by the poetry that you write and not just by doing music.

Writing poetry is an art and something that takes practice in order to get really good at it. You already use it as a form of self-expression. You also have a good start at doing it. I know that you could be really good if you practiced it more and learned how to do it better!

Do you have a school newspaper?

Thanks!

No I don't really wirte anymore it kind of bores me so I sing insteed

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArticMonkey

no thats a poem and i was wanting to put it in to a song ok forget about the one for mom i can do that later but i just want to make a song and have music and be able to name something as mine insteed of singing some one elses work it gets kind of boring like i want my own label

Okay, then let's just work on writing a song. I'll re-write your poem in such a way that it would work well set to a rhythm and also meter.

No we don't have a school newspapper
I don't really write poetry anymore it's a little boring
I sing to keep myself entertained insteed
I'm getting tierd of sing other peoples music and want to sing my own if you no what I mean

OK how would you do that though?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArticMonkey

ok how would you do that though?

It's not all that hard, once you know how to do it. The re-write of your poem into a song will be in my next post. Please be sure to answer any questions directly that I ask so that I can help you the best.

Thanks!

Quote:

Why do you call and why do you stare, and why do you tell me to beware?

Why do you hug and why do you kiss, and why do you always seem to miss?

Is this because you love me, or because you don't, or maybe because you won't?

What do you think? It would work, musically.

The above would be a good first verse for your song. Any idea as to what you would like to be the title of your song? My initial thought for a title would be, "Do You Really Love Me?"

Also, is this song about someone that you like, or just some random thoughts that you have and wanted to make into a poem?

Thanks!

Heyy are you still there?

Yea it I like that name and its just some ranodm stuff
I like the re write to thanks

I just had a thought about your school not having a newspaper, a lot schools have them and they aren't all that hard to do and because having such a thing will help the students to learn in various ways, I'm sure that teachers and administration would be supportive of that kind of thing.

If you and bunch of your friends from school got together and talked together about how it would be a good thing to have a newspaper and then spoke with some teachers and also the principal, having a school news paper once a month or even once a week might become a reality!

Students could become reporters covering and writing articles about school events, writers of opinions about things, writers of things like opinions, essays, poems and also the lyrics to songs, photographers, etc.

Having copies of a school newspaper would also become a cherished keepsake in time. It's kind of also like having a yearbook.

If you become a student staff person on a school newspaper, that's something that you could also add to your resume someday so that you might have a better chance at getting a job because a potential employer will see that you not only did the school work that you were supposed to do, but were willing to do something extra outside of the usual school day.

Ill ask the teachers but I won't be going to the school much longer as I am getting a full time job

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArticMonkey

heyy are you still there?

Yes, I'm still here. I just wrote you a pretty long post and it took me a little while to compose it. You do have my attention here and I do want to help you!

I'm tierd of looking in the mirror and only seeing me when your right next to me
I'm tierd of waiting for your calls the times you said you would call and you didn't
I'm tierd of waiting for you to pull me out of the water so I don't drown
I'm tierd of running after you when you turn your back

Quote:

Clough Why do you call and why do you stare, and why do you tell me to beware?

Why do you hug and why do you kiss, and why do you always seem to miss?

Is this because you love me, or because you don't, or maybe because you won't?

Quote:

Clough What do you think? It would work, musically.

The above would be a good first verse for your song. Any idea as to what you would like to be the title of your song? My initial thought for a title would be, "Do You Really Love Me?"

Also, is this song about someone that you like, or just some random thoughts that you have and wanted to make into a poem?

Thanks!

Quote:

ArticMonky yea it I like that name and its just some ranodm stuff
I like the re write to thanks

Since this thread went on to another page, I decided to quote some things from previous posts so that the thread would be easier to follow and read.

How about us working on a chorus for your song?

It might begin something like the following:

Do you really love me, and do you really care...

If you'd like to do this, would you please write something to continue the chorus? You can always change anything that I've written. I'm just trying to give you some ideas and tips. It is your song and need to reflect how you think and feel.

Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArticMonkey

im tierd of looking in the mirror and only seeing me when your right next to me
im tierd of waiting for your calls the times you said you would call and you didnt
im tierd of waiting for you to pull me out of the water so i dont drown
im tierd of running after you when u turn your back

Is the above the second verse for your song? Please let me know.

Thanks!

Umm ill work on it to night I have to go now have a good evening thank you
Xx
Sam

I guess I'm not quiet sure if it would fitt any way I have to goo good bye

Do you have school tomorrow?

Okay, I can see that you're no longer online here. So, I do wish you a goodnight and pleasant dreams!

If what is below what you intended for the second verse, then there is a re-write of that below it. Musically, it will fit better with your first verse.

Quote:

ArticMonkey I'm tierd of looking in the mirror and only seeing me when your right next to me
I'm tierd of waiting for your calls the times you said you would call and you didn't
I'm tierd of waiting for you to pull me out of the water so I don't drown
I'm tierd of running after you when you turn your back

Tired of looking in the mirror, only seeing me there, 'specially when you're right here beside me.

Tired of waiting for your calls, when you said you'd call, 'specially when you said you would.

Tired of waiting for you, to help me out of water, so that I might not drown.

I also dropped the last sentence so that the stanza would be better to match the first verse.

Things are developing here and you're doing a good job! Please keep trying!

I would like for you to check out the virtual keyboard that' on the following site. VIRTUAL KEYBOARD - PIANO

When we're on here at the same time sometime, I can show you how to play your song.

Thanks!

Chorus
Do you really love me
Do you really miss me
Or is this just a dream I'm living?
If not won't you send someone to wake me from my night mares

v3

Can you see I'm stronger now
I've made myself move on
I won't keep running back
I'm now justa stranger on the street
I won't let you pull me down any longer

v4
So don't cry when you wake
Cause I won't be there to comfort you
Cause I have gone I have moved on now babe

How's this?

Hi, ArticMonkey!

Thanks for doing so much additional work!

Please give me a some time to look at and work on what you have added.

Looks like you have some great ideas!

What did you think of my revision to verse #2, please?

Thanks!

Yea I like it

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArticMonkey

ill ask the teachers but i wont be going to the school much longer as i am getting a full time job

I don't know where you're located, and I don't need to know that. However, don't you need to be in school until a certain age where you are located?

Thanks!

I'm in [edited]

Sam, because of your age, I needed to remove your location from your post in order to protect your privacy. I would hate to have someone who you didn't want to contact you, try to contact you, because of knowing your location and because of information they already might find out about you because of your being on this site.

Thank you for your understanding.

I would still appreciate knowing if you are required to be in school until a certain age.

I'm also working on your song right now.

Thanks!

Yea until your 16 I'm leavn next year to get a full time job

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArticMonkey

yea until your 16 im leavn next year to get a full time job

Thanks! Do you live with both your parents, and if not, what is the relationship of the person or persons to you with whom you are living, please?

I'm done with the revision and compilation of your song and will be posting it shortly. It's not perfect and will most likely take some additional work.

Thanks!

Below, is your song with the suggested revisions. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

Verse 1
Why do you call and why do you stare, and why do you tell me to beware?
Why do you hug and why do you kiss, and why do you always seem to miss?
Is this because you love me, or because you don't, or maybe because you won't?

Verse 2
Tired of looking in the mirror, only seeing me there, 'specially when you're right here beside me.
Tired of waiting for your calls, when you said you'd call, 'specially when you said you would.
Tired of waiting for you, to help me out of water, so that I might not drown.

Verse 3
Can you see I'm stronger now
I've made myself move on
I won't keep running back
I'm now justa stranger on the street
I won't let you pull me down any longer

Verse 3 Revision - Please let me know what you think.
Can't you see I'm stonger and made myself move on? I won't keep running back...
To you I'm just a stranger now, walking down the street, I won't let you pull me down any longer.
(Needs one more part here to complete it.)

Verse 4
So don't cry when you wake
Cause I won't be there to comfort you
Cause I have gone I have moved on now babe

Verse 4 Revision - Please let me know what you think.
So, don't cry when you wake, and I'm not around, 'cause I won't be there for you anymore
I have moved on now, a thing I had to do, but still don't really know inside of me.
It's a choice I've made, because I never know if or whether you really care. (to chorus)

Chorus
Do you really love me
Do you really miss me
Or is this just a dream I'm living?
If not won't you send someone to wake me from my night mares

Chorus - Revision - Please let me know what you think.
Do you really love me and do you really miss me? Or, am I living just a dream?
If it's not a dream, but to me it seems it is, would you send someone to wake me from my nightmares?

I live with my dad and his evil wife

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArticMonkey

i live with my dad and his evil wife

It sounds like there are more things that need to be discussed here, Sam! Please know that I and others here really care about you. If needed, depending on how things go here, I will call in others to this thread who will be able to give you excellent advice concerning anything that might be troubling you. You are safe here, and much safer than you might be on many other sites!

I take it that his wife isn't your real mom. Is that true?

Yea that's true and thanks for the support but I'm OK and I like working with you I have me mates and some adult mates that I can go to but thanks for the concern