I am just out of school and had an interview with a big company. A couple of days after the interview, I was called to have another interview for another position and I was hired for the second position. Now I have been working in this company for about 3 months. The other day I went to ask a question to the guy who interviewed me for the fist position. He told me that he wanted me for his opening, but because some other reasons he couldn't, so he recommended me to my present boss and HR. So I got my present job. He said he has been tracking me. I thought he was joking. Then he started winking at me sometimes, he is always nervous around me. Always say that I should go to work in his department. I start to wonder if he really likes me. Does he really like me?

Maybe they just have a hard time finding qualified people, so they're trying to lure you there by being friendly?

And if he did like you, it would be better if you didn't work in his department, to avoid conflict of interests.

Thanks for replying , I know it is better that I do not work in his department. I know I am very lucky that he helped me a lot by recommending me, this is a dream job for me. I don't want to screw it up. I had previous experience when I was working as an intern during my second year of university that the boss harassed me, he grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go, I freaked out, do not want same things here.
My problem is that I kind of like him, he is 15 years older than me and always so nice to me, I couldn't thinking about him.

Just take it slow. There's no reason to rush something like this. If you have some interest, then get to know him better.

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Originally Posted by GAGA2009

Thanks for replying , I know it is better that I do not work in his department. I know I am very lucky that he helped me a lot by recommending me, this is a dream job for me. I don't want to screw it up. I had previous experience when i was working as an intern during my second year of university that the boss harassed me, he grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go, I freaked out, do not want same things here.
My problem is that I kind of like him, he is 15 years older than me and always so nice to me, I couldn't thinking about him.

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I couldn't stop thinking about him. I must be crazy. I was told he was married, but he told me the other day he was going to find his mrs Right. Then another coworker said aren't you married? Where is your ring? He didn't answer,just smiled at me. I still don't know if he is married.

It is a very tricky situation to get involved with someone you work with.

It is also a factor that the man is fifteen years your senior.

You aren't even sure of his intentions, but I would hope that his life experience has also made him aware that dating in the workplace is not in his best interests for his career.

I would be careful about reading and hoping that your infatuation is shared. Try and focus on your work, let him make the advance if he is daring, but I would keep myself at a distance, if it were me.

EDIT: Last and final RED flag to get out of Dodge with this idea. He is possibly married, possibly split, trying to pass himself off as single for the young new thing that entered the office.... GIRL, think about all these flags... this is a dangerous situation for you!

I know this kind of things are tricky.He always says I am smart, have good personality, should have been working for him, remembers every details of my interview answer, when I asked him questions, he would spend hours to help me. I really don't like guys at my own age, they are so not mature. At the same time I am so afaid of finding out that he is married.

You need to back off...

There are a few billion men on this earth (me included)... and I'm thinking you can do better than a guy who may me married...

It's a GREAT feeling when you know someone is interested in you... I've always been most attracted to women to were either forward/direct/whatthef*ever... show me you are interested and it amps up my interest. Period.

But really... this guy seems to be playing you and you seem to be feeding into it...

Which is fine if that's what you want... but I'm guessing this guy is bad news for you and you ought to back off...

Workplace romance is tough to do well... even tougher when the guy is likely married...

So...

If it was your best girlfriend in the same situ, what would you tell her to do?

I know I may be getting myself in big trouble. What if he is married? What am I going to do? But I do see him everyday and have to work with him sometimes. He is kind of weird too, I think he is trying not to be so closed to me as well, maybe he really is married and does not want to get into this trouble.

Why should my response be any different?

You suspect he might be married.

You think he is weird.

Workplace dating is complicated at best...

Seriously... why this guy? Because he likes you??

To be honest, I am not even sure if he is intered in me or just being nice to a new girl at work.

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Originally Posted by kp2171

why should my response be any different?

you suspect he might be married.

you think he is weird.

workplace dating is complicated at best...

seriously... why this guy? because he likes you???

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I don't know, he is just that type, he is mature, he is always always helping me, big time, whenever I have questions, ptroubles, no matter how busy he is. He made me feel special and his life expereince is so attractive to me, I like to hear his stories. Well, I guess all my exes were either teenages or early 20's , he is just different.

The answer applies whether he is married or single.

THIS MAN IS UNAVAILABLE - for many different reasons.

We all have infatuations, you need to supply the distance, focus on your department and stay away.

You are risking
Your dream job (in an economy where jobs are very difficult to come by)
Your morals (married man)
Your career (only takes one black mark)
His job
His morals
His career

You do not even truly know this man. If you can not avoid him, then start the job searching now, because you will either become unemployed for the affair or you will need new employment because you don't know how to avoid him.

He is clearly your superior at work and many employers will terminate for fratenization.

Well... he could very well be interested in you and at the same time unavailable...

My question is why is he so interesting to you? Because he has shown interest? Is around you?

I'm not saying its wrong to be intrigued... I've always been more interested in women who showed some interest in me... I'm willing to chase, but I like some backbone too...

So... you are new at work... single... and a guy, who might be married to not, shows interest in you...

Fine...

First... you need to know is he married or not... if you are remotely interested...

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Originally Posted by GAGA2009

I don't know, he is just that type, he is mature, he is always always helping me, big time, whenever I have questions, ptroubles, no matter how busy he is. He made me feel special and his life expereince is so attractive to me, I like to hear his stories. well, I guess all my exes were either teenages or early 20's , he is just different.

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This comment makes me wonder what your relationship was like with your father.

He is probably doing all these things because he wants in your pants, not because this is 'the man' for you.

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Originally Posted by kp2171

well... he could very well be interested in you and at the same time unavailable...

my question is why is he so interesting to you? because he has shown interest? is around you?

im not saying its wrong to be intrigued... ive always been more interested in women who showed some interest in me... im willing to chase, but i like some backbone too...

so... you are new at work... single... and a guy, who might be married to not, shows interest in you...

fine...

first... you need to know is he married or not... if you are remotely interested...

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I don't understand myself either, why couldn't I stop thinking about him? It all started with him telling me that he helped me get this job, he said he told HR that "get this girl a job". We started talking a lot and I got to know him. He makes me feel I am special. I still go out sometime with other guys, they would say nice things about me, but that would make me think they only want get into my pants, but not with him.

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

This comment makes me wonder what your relationship was like with your father.

He is probably doing all these things because he wants in your pants, not because this is 'the man' for you.

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I have a very good relationship with my father.

I really don't think he only wants sex, sometimes I think he is trying to control himself not to be around me that often.

I am getting myself into big trouble.

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

The answer applies whether he is married or single.

THIS MAN IS UNAVAILABLE - for many different reasons.

We all have infatuations, you need to supply the distance, focus on your department and stay away.

You are risking
your dream job (in an economy where jobs are very difficult to come by)
your morals (married man)
your career (only takes one black mark)
his job
his morals
his career

You do not even truly know this man. If you can not avoid him, then start the job searching now, because you will either become unemployed for the affair or you will need new employment because you don't know how to avoid him.

He is clearly your superior at work and many employers will terminate for fratenization.

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You are absolutely right. I couldn't afford to lose this job. Just seeing him everyday makes my life so hard, it is even harder if he really likes me.

Forget about sex... it can be incredibly exciting to simply control or manipulate another person...

Look...

You KNOW you are in over your head.

You've made it clear with a few comments in this thread.

So... you own it.

You can jump into the deep end or you can step back three paces.

You own it.

He doesn't control you.

You aren't in his spell.

His interest in you is, well, interesting.

Fine.

Get used to it.

You are going to spend the rest of your life around people who find you interesting.

Not all of them... but enough to make you wonder and think and fantasize.

It happens.

All the time.

I am not the only man who can make my wife's blood warm and make her skin want for a touch.

I'm just not that special. Sure... I might be a kick arse guy who treats his woman well (or not, ask her)... but there's too many other men out there who can do the same.

If I get hit by a train tomorrow, someday, some good man would do right by her. I believe that.

So... about your romeo... you are way too eager to have him into you, mentally speaking...

Your posts show your eagerness.

That's fine. Human nature. But you'd better be aware of yourself... and NOT just say "im out of control" and accept that that is, well, acceptable.

You own your panties. They are cute. You get to choose who takes 'em off and who doesn't...

If you want to have an affair with a married man, I can't stop you.

If you want to have an affair with a single man at work, again, I can't stop you.

But really... you posted here for a reason.

I think you are genuinely conflicted... so why complicate it too much? Get used to the idea that men are going to be interested in you... over and over... its going to happen. But so far, I don't see any reason why you should put yourself at risk for him...

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Originally Posted by kp2171

forget about sex... it can be incredibly exciting to simply control or manipulate another person...

look...

you KNOW you are in over your head.

youve made it clear with a few comments in this thread.

so... you own it.

you can jump into the deep end or you can step back three paces.

you own it.

he doesnt control you.

you arent in his spell.

his interest in you is, well, interesting.

fine.

get used to it.

you are going to spend the rest of your life around people who find you interesting.

not all of them... but enough to make you wonder and think and fantasize.

it happens.

all the time.

i am not the only man who can make my wifes blood warm and make her skin want for a touch.

im just not that special. sure... i might be a kick arse guy who treats his woman well (or not, ask her)... but theres too many other men out there who can do the same.

if i get hit by a train tomorrow, someday, some good man would do right by her. i believe that.

so... about your romeo... you are way too eager to have him into you, mentally speaking...

your posts show your eagerness.

thats fine. human nature. but youd better be aware of yourself... and NOT just say "im out of control" and accept that that is, well, acceptable.

you own your panties. they are cute. you get to choose who takes 'em off and who doesnt...

if you want to have an affair with a married man, i can't stop you.

if you want to have an affair with a single man at work, again, i can't stop you.

but really.... you posted here for a reason.

i think you are genuinely conflicted... so why complicate it too much? get used to the idea that men are going to be interested in you... over and over... its going to happen. but so far, i dont see any reason why you should put yourself at risk for him...

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Everything you say is so right. I am just thinking too much, I need to clear my head. I need to get myslef out of this nonsense, shouldn't have turned down a date and stayed here thinking about him.

Hopefully when I see him on Monday, I will not think anything else other than coworkers. Thanks,

I think it's best to avoid him until you sort out your confusion. If you see him at work, just say hi politely and continue walking. Do not say anything more than necessary.

Until you stop interpreting every little detail or every little sign, it's not a good idea to talk to him.

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Originally Posted by I wish

I think it's best to avoid him until you sort out your confusion. If you see him at work, just say hi politely and continue walking. Do not say anything more than necessary.

Until you stop interpreting every little detail or every little sign, it's not a good idea to talk to him.

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Actrurally, this is what I am doing right now and I will never make any move to him.

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Originally Posted by GAGA2009

Actrurally, this is what I am doing right now and I will never make any move to him.

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Yup! Just re-assuring you that you're doing the right thing!

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Originally Posted by I wish

Yup! Just re-assuring you that you're doing the right thing!

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Right things are always hard to do.