Would you guys think it would be weird if your (male) boss put his hands on either side of your thighs like... in line with that crease of the top of your leg and butt, but from like behind you..

Like you were standing in front of him and to the left, and he was sort of squatted down diagonally to th right behind you about to open a cupboard to look into it and he just briefly puts his hands there for like two seconds..

Yes. I would think that that was weird. Why are you asking, please?

Because it happened to me a little while ago and I am just curious to know of it was considered appropriate or not.
Also I am only `17 and he is in his 30's which might make it a little bit more weird?

Did you feel comfortable with him touching you in that way?

Yes.. I didn't actually mind at all.
But for everyone else just generally is it normal?
I mean he is not at all a touchy-feely type guy, I've never even seen him pat someone else on the shoulder/arm before, not even his wife.. which I guess is why it surprised me a little.
Like the first time I have seen him touch someone else for the 5 months I have worked for him was me...

Do you think that it is appropriate for a boss to touch an employee in such a way?

Well I don't know, I'm not really experienced in these matters.
Which was.. why I was asking the same question.

It's one thing to pat a person on the shoulders or even give them a hug from the side. However, in the workplace it's very inappropriate for a manager or a boss or even another employee, to touch an employee or fellow employee in the way that you have described.

Does this answer your question?

Yes it does, thank you.
There you go, at the time I didn't think anything of it, but I thought about it after and thought it might have been inappropriate but had no idea, and actually it was.
Also I was wondering if anyone else on here agrees/disagrees, or has any sort of opinion or experience on this type of thing?

Yes, it was inappropriate behavior. I am sure that there will be others who will come along to voice their opinions also.

Yeah that's inappropriate. It is better to nip these things in the bud as well. I was harassed at work by another employee the same age as me (and yourself). I was inexperienced and put it down to youthful exuberance/ flirting. It was another younger girl than me who was pinned to a wall and fondled that got him the sack. I feel guilty for not being brave enough ot have done something sooner myself.

Don't allow this to continue, it never gets better. It starts like this and once you accept one thing as 'normal' they move onto the next.

It is called sexual harassment. Look in your company policies and hopefully you will see where that is addressed. You tell him no, you do not appreciate his attentions. If he does it again, file a complaint.

By the way, is this guy married?

Yes he's married.

Heavens. He is married and is your boss and is placing you in a very unhealthy situation. Workplace sexual harassment is against the law. That touchy feely stuff he is doing is a violation of your rights. You are young and naïve to believe in any honest intentions of his. As his intentions and actions and motives are purely lust and totally toward his own gratification.

I really hope you document what he does. Dates and times and things he says. Then turn him in. He gets what he deserves, which would be a number of things, not the least a termination. He is wrong to do this to you. So inappropriate it is not even funny. If his wife finds out, he could be in for more.

Take control of yourself and of this situation. You do not have to be a victim of his. Even though you say you enjoyed his touching - do not go further. Often the girls in the workplace, that get the "come on", get fired later on, when the heat turns up on the one who started it all (the guy in this case).

Seems odd but could be a lot of reasons... maybe he got dizzy, thought you were going to bump into him, lost his balance, or something else... When working in close proximatey to others things can happen. I would not make a big issue unless similar accidents keep happening... You say you haven't seen anything similar in the past, so try to look at it as an accidental thing unless you have reason to think otherwise.

I think you have received some good advice in the previous posts. Yes, it is inappropriate for him to touch you in that way. If he needed you to move out of his way, he should have said "Excuse me" and not touched you at all. Also, I'm sure this man knows that what he is doing is inappropriate.

The next time he tries to touch you in any way firmly tell him "You do not need to be touching me. It makes me uncomfortable and I want you to stop." If he claims he didn't mean anything by it and makes excuses, stand your ground. Often guys will say "I didn't mean anything by it" when they know darn well what they did was wrong. So you just tell him "I don't care if you didn't mean anything by it. Don't do it again. I'm letting you know right now that that is inappropriate."

Document what happened and when. If he doesn't listen to what you tell him, go to his supervisor and tell him/her about what happened. Look up online about sexual harassment and your rights as an employee. If his supervisors don't do anything, they could be in a world of trouble legally, esp. because you are still a minor.

Also, even if you didn't mind it or have a little crush on him or something, please do still tell him to leave you alone. It is true that girls who date their supervisors often end up getting canned at work. Not to mention the fact that if he is flirting with and touching you, he could very well be like that with other employees also. They might be miserable and too scared to speak up, and you could help them with that.

Good luck and let us know what happens. Hope this creep gets the message and cuts it out.

Just a thought - you are still a minor - 17 years old. This guy is an adult, in his 30's and darn well knows what he is doing is illegal in many senses.

Well that's the thing.. he isn't a creep at all, besides this incident I have never seen him even put a finger on someone else, let alone flirting etc, he just isn't that type of guy.
I wonder if the type of workplace has anything to do with it... like he is the 'boss' and everyone else there works for him or with him, yet he is actually one of the more 'civilised' ones... like there are a lot of sexual jokes, and some talk about some people... but in this workplace its considered normal.

Like when I started work there I didn't think anything of it, as I wasn't offended and nor was anyone else.. everyone is really nice and decent, and even though some things are said and people act certain ways.. no one person there is creepy or sleazy in any type of way whatsoever. I would honestly feel comfortable alone with any one of them as I have been before.

But its just the type of place where things like workplace laws and sexual harassment stuff would be laughed at becauase nobody really cares.
But I will still write everything down just in case.

Could it have been accidental? Are you possibly reading more into it when nothing was intended?

Just watch yourself... the behavior is inappropriate, though perhaps accidental.

I taught classes with college women and men... one time a student came to me in lab for help and I unintentionally placed my hand at the small of her back toward the curve of her hips as I would have done with my wife, as she kind of turned into me to show me a page she needed me to see. I COMPLETELY didn't mean to... it was an absolute reflex.

Thankfully, she didn't freak out and I pulled back the sec I realized it. It honestly was nothing id planned.

So could it be nothing? Yes.

Should you be careful to not let this be the norm? Yes. Sexual harassment happens, and just because it didn't bother you this time doesn't mean it shouldn't.

Id not go overboard, but id quickly end any further physical contact with a stern warning at a minimum.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by candle_light

Well thats the thing.. he isn't a creep at all, besides this incident i have never seen him even put a finger on someone else, let alone flirting etc, he just isn't that type of guy.
I wonder if the type of workplace has anything to do with it... like he is the 'boss' and everyone else there works for him or with him, yet he is actually one of the more 'civilised' ones... like there are alot of sexual jokes, and some talk about some people... but in this workplace its considered normal.

Like when i started work there i didn't think anything of it, as i wasn't offended and nor was anyone else. everyone is realy nice and decent, and even though some things are said and people act certain ways.. no one person there is creepy or sleazy in any type of way whatsoever. I would honestly feel comfortable alone with any one of them as i have been before.

But its just the type of place where things like workplace laws and sexual harassment stuff would be laughed at becauase nobody realy cares.
But i will still write everything down just in case.

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oneguyinohio did make a very valid point that maybe it was an accident. If so many types of ways of thinking and behavior are accepted there, as I have made bold in the body of your post above, I am wondering what kind of job it is where you work? Knowing that may help to explain some things.

Just because no one really cares about workplace laws against sexual harassment does not give an excuse for the behavior. Some day something will happen that will wake people up. It is not a joke. Nor something to make excuses for. Yes, there could be the accidental incident but that accidental incident could also be the precursor for the next step.

Glad you came here with your concerns as young females(and males) who don't know better can be taken advantage of by older more experienced co workers. Be alert and watch yourself. Do not hesitate to tell someone not to touch you in a familiar way, that usually solves the problem, but still be careful.

Although I never take sexual harassment lightly, I've got to say I initially agreed with oneguyinohio, that it was unintentional. Sounds to me like you were slightly in his way, and he was gently hinting that you move further left so he could get in the cupboard without losing his balance. I think that's it; however...

Hardly a man in his right mind would touch a 17-yr old girl on or around the buttocks region, whether he's a teacher, boss, or other figure of authority, as it could be construed as sexual harassment. Sounds like this laid-back workplace needs some HR training on appropriate behavior, because such an unstable environment can--as you have already noticed--be very confusing for a young person at their first job who might feel hesitant or uncomfortable when put in the awkward position of having to assert her boundaries.