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-   -   I like my co-worker but she has a boyfriend! What do I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=172101)

  • Apr 12, 2008, 07:37 PM
    qwerty108
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by the_gentleman
    she's a tough one! sounds like more of a friend relationship though. You are making the efforts and she is taking them and not giving anything back in return, but sees nothing wrong with it. It might just take time. keep doing what you are doing and hopefully she'll come around

    I know, but I'm tired of all these games. I don't like that she only talks to me when her boyfriend is gone. I don't like that she says she wants to hang out and then we never do. I don't like when she is very flirtatious then expects me to just sit back and not take it as some sort of sign. This has been going on for close to 5 months now, and she's just driving me nuts! Lol. I know there are others out there, but I just seem to find good people at the places I work. I don't get out too much, so it's a little harder to find a good person.
  • Apr 12, 2008, 07:43 PM
    the_gentleman
    Get some of your guy friends at work and go have a night on the town, and don't answer her calls! If you're tired of how she treats you just tell her you are not taking the Bull anymore. Also tell her that you don't want to get between her and her boyfriend (even though you wish he didn't exist), might get her thinking.
    I know how you feel about the flirtatious part though. One of my friends who is a female is always wanting to lay on my lap, but when I try to flirt with her she gets mad... lol
  • Apr 12, 2008, 08:07 PM
    talaniman
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2670548, this has been going on for 3 months so read the whole story.
  • Apr 12, 2008, 09:16 PM
    qwerty108
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2670548, this has been going on for 3 months so read the whole story.

    I know how you feel about all this talaniman. Just quit posting on what I have to say.
  • Apr 12, 2008, 09:39 PM
    Scleros
    If you won't listen to Tal, listen to me. I was in a similar situation for ten years with a high school buddy. The odds of her coming around are non-existent or very, very, very, very low. In fact, she may come around faster or at least re-evaluate you if you get yourself a girlfriend. Counter-intuitive I know.

    A good person? Ha. Good people aren't friendly only when their boyfriend isn't around or between guys. She's keeping herself entertained with you at arm's length while the guy she's physically intimate with is absent. Wait 'til she invites you out one night along with her boyfriend and you get to sit there and watch her be all over him. Just "friends" do that sort of thing.

    You said "she's just driving me nuts!", well keep it up, it gets much worse, you might actually start to love her, then you'll learn what misery really is.

    You really only have two choices:
    A) Force the issue and try to steal her. Probably won't go well, but at least you'd have no regrets, and can move on and stop thinking about her all the time.

    B) Continue being her girlfriend.
  • Apr 12, 2008, 09:52 PM
    qwerty108
    Ok, I hear you. I know my odds are not in my favor. I know she won't invite out with her boyfriend. I've seen those 2 together before, and I know how they act. Since we've been texting and calling each other, she keeps us both apart from each other. He once even told her to take me to go run errands with her one night when he was out of town. She didn't want to go out of town by herself, so he recommended I go with. She was really surprised by all of this. We wound up going out to eat and then leaving town. We both had a good time. Since then things have changed. I'll admit I feel used when she only talks to me when he's not around. I know I'm like a girlfriend to her. She'll call me when she's in her car by herself. It's just a weird situation.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 08:16 AM
    Faithpal28
    I totally understand how you feel cause I have been in the same situations where I like a female but she was either with someone or she was totally straight at least from her lifestyle. My advice to her is to just go with the flow and she where it takes you. Trust me I have found that if they want more they will tell you. But for me if I get closer enough to them I let them know eventually that I was attracted to them because girlfriend or best friend what ever they should respect who you are. Because if your real close friends don't know you who will than anybody can say anything about you. I am just all about honesty that is the only way you can make it in any relationship heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and even Asexual because sometimes the hardest part is being able to accept yourself and behonest with yourself. So don't worry if this person means a lot to you tell her how you feel but not expecting anything.

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