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-   -   My coworker wants me to take days off from college to work for her. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=421112)

  • Dec 4, 2009, 01:46 PM
    justcurious55

    That's kind of weird. Maybe it's their way of making what they believe is polite conversation? 5'3" and 123lbs is slender. Could they be concerned that you are heading towards anorexia? It doesn't sound like you are, but maybe they are worried. I've noticed some people seem to be a little obsessed with protein and believe that we needs tons and tons of protein to be healthy. Maybe if you started educating them about how much protein you really need and how much protein you can get from non-meat sources they'll leave you alone. If every time they bother you they get a nutrition lecture, maybe they'll get the hint and leave you alone.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 02:32 PM
    Evgb

    Thank you, that is some good advice. The only thing is, I have responded before with telling them that someone my age should get 45 grams of protein per day, I get plenty, and tried to educate them. It really is so annoying because it is every day if they are around. I feel like telling them I am going to eat T-bones for lunch. LOL. I shouldn't have to deal with this crap. I'll try what you said &speak up and educate them until they don't want to hear it anymore.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 02:44 PM
    mudweiser

    What exactly do they say?

    Is it like:

    "That's all your eating?"

    "Eww salad"

    "Wow just a ____ you need some meat-- that's so bad"

    ---

    If it's anything like that you can say:

    "I respect your food choices could you respect mine- thank-you"
  • Dec 4, 2009, 04:06 PM
    Evgb

    They say things like,
    "What's for Lunch?"
    "Just salad?"
    "Oh, veggie calzone; is there any protein?"
    "No Protein?", or "Where's the protein?"
    "How many calories", "How much protein?"
    "What do you eat for protein?"
    Today, this was the conversation with my boss:
    Boss: "We're gonna go get some subs down the street, do you want anything?"
    Me: "No thank you, I brought my lunch."
    Boss: "You sure?"
    Me: "Ya, I brought a salad, thanks anyway."
    Boss: "Oh, just salad? You should eat something good."
    Me: "I like salad."
    Boss: "Where's the protein?"
    Me: "I get plenty of protein."
    Boss:"Did you bring like 3 almonds, or some what do you call them, legumes?"


    (I bring lentils and rice sometimes, and it took a while for him to understand what lentils are (legumes) and that they have protein)
    The last comment he made really made me kind of upset. "3 almonds" I snack on almonds and chocolate chips sometimes (almonds also have protein and monounsaturated fat, which I tried to educate him on, but only to be made fun of) I don't understand the interrogation.
    Also, the other day my supervisor (the manager) was in the office when I was ordering a veggie calzone, and I asked him if he wanted anything, to which he replied, "No thanks, what are you getting?!", then asked me what was in my "thermos" which is a stainless water bottle, to which I replied, water. Then, when my lunch arrives, he is standing in the exact spot that I eat lunch every day, putting #'s in his cellphone, so I put my lunch on the counter and kept working, waiting for him to leave. He wouldn't move from that spot for 45 minutes. It was like he was waiting for me to eat so he could see what I had and comment. (There was no other place to eat; it's a small office and I would've had to be about 2 inches away from him to eat). I started vacuuming and then he finally left after 45 minutes of typing in his phone, @ 2pm. I normally eat around 12:30 or 1:00, and I was starving. Of course, my manager is really a different story, he has some serious issues-control freak, passive aggressive, workplace bully, etc. etc.
    BTW-They don't eat in the office, they get to leave for lunch. Except that the manager eats a single clementine or orange every morning.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 04:12 PM
    jmjoseph

    I eat a lot of Lebanese food at work and people are always asking me what it is, or making smart remarks. I offer them some, and then I ignore them.

    I think you should do the same, I mean purposely ignore them. If they keep on, tell them ENOUGH. You'd like to enjoy your food, and it's not your fault that they don't eat healthy.

    I'm sure you're a nice person, because most of us would have already told them off. But sometimes you have to take care of things like this, in a direct manner.

    Don't let them drive you crazy, or ruin your lunch.

    You'll get the last word, because you'll out live them all.

    Now you go enjoy your bird food.

    Just kidding.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 04:14 PM
    mudweiser

    When they start bothering you say:

    "Please stop questioning my food choices. I feel offended and frankly I don't like defending my food choices on a daily basis. With all due respect you don't see me telling you how bad meat is for you and how you should change your eating habits. Thanks"

    Maybe change it up a bit-- make it sound more like you but you get the point.

    You need to stand up to them or else the comments will just keep coming. It may not stop completely when tell them but it won't be as much.

    :) Good luck. Hope all works out well for you-- I know it can be annoying.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 04:15 PM
    Evgb

    Thanks. I think you're right; the moral of the story is I just need to stand-up for myself and address it directly. However, how do I do that, I mean ignore them-w/o seeming disrespectful?
  • Dec 4, 2009, 04:17 PM
    mudweiser

    Smile at them, go "hmm", shake your head while smiling and keep eating.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 04:48 PM
    Evgb
    Mudweiser: Yes, I agree. I need to say something. In fact, there are many other things that I am going to address, and I will address this at the same time. Thanks.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 05:28 PM
    JBeaucaire

    Hope you don't mind a dissenting opinion here. Sometimes, especially in a closed bubble environment like the workplace, you have to "go along to get along".

    I'm not sure you're going to gain anything except ill-will by trying to train them to leave you alone on this topic. I can state with 98% certainty they do not mean anything offensive by it. And as such, being offended is actually a personal decision. It is just as reasonable for you to opt to not be bothered.

    Not wanting to debate the merits of your eating choices is fine, and I agree you can find ways to not engage them when they bring it up. But I have to suggest that you do it without a confrontation.

    The first best approach is always going to be humor. You can indicate you're not interested in talking seriously about a topic by NEVER answering with anything other than a silly comment back.

    Boss: "What you eating today?"
    You: "Whatever the warden packed"

    Boss: "Where's the protein?"
    You: "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to eat you."

    Boss: "How many calories in that?"
    You: "Probably none, you have to pay extra for calories and I'm still waiting for my raise to come through. Bite?"

    Boss: "Just a salad?"
    You: (looking down in shock) "Holy cow, someone stole my lobster!?"
  • Dec 4, 2009, 11:36 PM
    Gemini54
    My husband's a veggo - has been since he was 16 and he HATES people asking him about his eating habits. I've slowly encouraged him not to take it so seriously and to either ignore it or respond with humor. He's slowly getting it. (old dogs learn new tricks slowly)

    JB has the right attitude - don't engage in the conversation - just laugh. They know exactly what you have for lunch every day (they do this to annoy you and get a response) - so just say - 'I'm having the usual rabbit food', ha ha.

    Don't talk about it, try to justify or explain it or get into any discussion about protein, calories, etc, etc. The more you allow them to drive you crazy, the more they'll keep needling you. If you react with less annoyance, they'll get tired of it eventually.

    PS Sorry to be pain, but you're not a vegeterian if you eat chicken.
  • Dec 4, 2009, 11:50 PM
    mudweiser
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Gemini54 View Post
    Sorry to be pain, but you're not a vegeterian if you eat chicken.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Evgb
    I am a vegetarian, but even before I became a full-time vegetarian they always had some kind of comment about what I was eating, like:
    "Just a salad?"
    (big salad w/tons of veggies and either chicken or chickpeas plus snacks)

    Did you catch that Gem ;)
  • Dec 5, 2009, 07:37 AM
    Evgb
    Why does my supervisor smile at really inappropriate times?
    My supervisor is really serious and gruff most of the time. However, whenever I tell him something serious or we're talking about something that is serious, i.e.. Talking about when I was really sick with the swine flu, he smiles; I mean gets a grin/smirk on his face. Sometimes he laughs under his breath at inappropriate times as well. What is his deal?
  • Dec 5, 2009, 08:18 AM
    jmjoseph

    The older I get, the more I realize that many people have strange habits and behavior.

    Is he a hateful person? Do you really think that he actually enjoys hearing about the bad things that you experience? If so, then he is just a jacka$$.

    It might be that he reacts to certain situations in an odd way. I know a guy that blinks when he is told something serious. In a recent meeting, I couldn't help but notice his eye lids were flapping like a Hummingbird's wings.

    I also know someone who laughs when he is being disciplined.

    Some people have strange habits. I hope he is just one of them.
  • Dec 5, 2009, 03:29 PM
    FlyYakker

    You haven't said (that I know of)... how much do they need you? You may have more leverage than you think in this... although you need to be careful applying it.

    No matter what, you can't take off during finals.

    Don't worry about the side issues like eating habits, they are distracting you from the main issue. Just laugh at them when they comment.
  • Dec 5, 2009, 03:36 PM
    justcurious55

    Have you looked around for other jobs yet?
  • Dec 6, 2009, 01:48 PM
    Gemini54
    I just think that some people are not comfortable being one-to-one with other people and the grin or smile is an indication of their discomfort.
  • Dec 8, 2009, 11:56 AM
    Evgb

    That could be the case. However, I think he has deeper issues. He is mean and nasty a lot of the time.
  • Dec 8, 2009, 12:03 PM
    Evgb

    Well, I'm not sure how bad they need me. I know they probably don't want to look around for someone else. (and I do my job well, but I'm not sure if they realize this.) I haven't looked for another job yet, because I have literally no time at all. As soon as I go on my Christmas break, I am looking for a job. I'll have a month to find one before school starts again.
  • Dec 8, 2009, 12:07 PM
    Evgb
    Oh, and now my boss says I don't smile enough now. He jokingly said he's worried about me because I don't smile, and he thinks I'm sad. I told him I smile all the time, and I'm not sad. He said, "Don't take me picking on you personally because I'll never stop."
    Did he ever think that maybe because I never get positive reinforcement, and he only picks on me, every time he sees me-maybe that's why I don't have a huge grin on all the time? Maybe it bothers me?

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