Originally Posted by
joypulv
I too am stuck on "I guess I thought he was more interested in me than he was," and "I admit I was a bit attracted to him as well as wanting to be friends."
I still think that you liked all the attention and even the possibility that he was interested in more than an office flirtation, but denied it to yourself the minute he went through his routine with your co-worker, and that the conversation about your husband was designed to be overheard by him.
It's possible that his actions weren't based on being scared away by your 'I'm here for you as a friend.' It's possible that it was exactly the opposite, that he was expecting you two to jump into an affair. The more I think about it, the more I think he thinks you were leading him on. And that you were.
You wanted advice. My advice isn't so much about being more worldly as it is to get to know yourself better. I think you are pulling the wool over your own eyes.
We know nothing about the situation you were in when depressed, how long it lasted, whether it was during your marriage or before, how your husband dealt with it - another whole ball of wax. Depression that is not situational is very rare. Perhaps your marriage isn't all wonderful, and that's part of these goings-on at work.
I just drew two conclusions about you (fooling yourself and marriage not so great), based solely on what you write here, or leave out. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong.