Ask Me Help Desk - Losing time when drunk.

Oneguy is right, justme.

Its time to get off the merry go round, take responsibility, and get help.

How you feeling this morning? Had enough?

This is my 8th night drinking... in a row... I think... wine again. I've been waiting all day to drink. We are suppose to take shots before my class tomorrow. I've gone to class drunk a few times... its fun but risky. Sort of.

I know I should talk to someone... or go to AA. I just cant.

Hun, we have helped you all we can. It is now up to you. YOU have to take the first step. You have to step through the door of AA. If we could do it for you, we would... but we can't.

The decision is now yours.

Do you want to stop or not?

In all honesty, coming from a family of alcoholics myself, I can tell you that we have done the best we can.

It is you who has to take responsibility for your actions, and you who has to take that leap to sobriety.

We have tried to help, we have tried to talk to you, but you seem to take our advice for a day or so. Having a sponsor, someone you can talk to face to face is soooooo much better than those of us who are faceless, and basically nameless. We can't knock on your door when you are wanting a drink... a sponsor with AA can.

The time is now for you to make the decision to quit or not. We have been through 123 posts now, and you are nowhere next to quitting.

I know it sounds harsh, and sometimes it has to be... But either get with the program or quit dragging us with you.

I understand. Thank you all for your help.

You know what to do when your ready, There is no point in posting, until you are. Asking for help you don't need, is unfair to those that do, so keep this thread to remind you that people care, and tried, but its your turn to do what you got to do, Suffer some more, until you get enough.

I'm sorry for wasting all of your time.

Doesn't feel like wasted time to me, you can act on the info anytime you may choose. The advice won't go bad... You're just not convinced for your own reasons to act on what you're thinking about right now...

I agree, hon. We all want to help you, we've given you the steps that you need to take to kick this addiction, AND we all care enough to still answer your posts... but, we are being realistic.

This is your decision. Your body is rejecting this addiction and is showing you through the physical problems that you described on the early pages of this thread. You are killing brain cells every time you "just drink a little" - there is no "little" when it comes to your addiction.

I wish you luck... and a backbone. To do what you know needs to be done.

Quote:

Originally Posted by justme005

im sorry for wasting all of your time.

You are not wasting my time at all, I am where your trying to go, so its not a waste of my time, but your own.

I hope that you will be ready to get help soon. Please consider all the bad things that could happen when you drink too much when you make that decision. Go back and read your posts on here. Sometimes just saying that you're going to stop something isn't enough. You need to get help until you are strong enough to resist temptation on your own. I think that a rehab program would be the best thing for you. Also please talk to a doctor about what you are doing to your body.

I think everyone has given you lots of really good advice, but it is up to you to make the decision to change. It is your life and your responsibility. If you aren't willing to go to a rehab program now, then at least please consider it when classes are over for the semester and it's summer break. I wish you the best and please stay safe.

I think that things won't get better until you quit drinking, and I hope you realize this soon. Where do you see yourself in 10 years if you keep drinking like this?

No I don't see myself drinking. I see myself having a good job and drinking freely, not having to worry about being addicted and getting cancer.

But Darlin, you've got to survive college first...

You have an awesome future ahead of you... when you get ahold of this addiction. You can have your dream, but you have to take responsibility for now. If you end up being raped, or in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, or blacked out somewhere, you seriously jeopardize your possible bright future.

Its all in your hands.

But you already know that.

All I have to say about that is pace yourself, in my town we're all really heavy drinkers it's crazy so it's easy for people to try and go overboard at times. I used to love doing shots which pretty much killed me so now I drink only mixes and if I feel too drunk I just stop mixing and have straght 7 up and nobody knows a thing it's good your surrounded by good people though just make sure you don't let alcohol ruin your life because it can and will eventually if you drink too much I've seen it happen a lot . The red face is because you drink and alcohol makes you feel warmer so you go red in the face and out of the shower your probably warm again . That's just my opinion though

Thanks. I just can't stop. I can't do it. It surrounds me. Its so much harder than all of you say. Oh yeah go to AA, get a sponsor... am I going to tell my friends? They will think I'm retarded. Its a lot more than you think. Trust me. I tried. I went I didn't like it. I don't want to go bak

Ahh! I have the worst headache ever... but it hurts real bad for like 3 seconds then goes away... then comes bak.. and so on and so forth.. is up w. thisss? Everyone here as a cold so maybe it's the start of one... but it's a weird kind of headache.

Thank you for giving us a look at how easy it is to fall into being a drunk, and the denial that goes with it. Maybe you can't help yourself, but you are helping others see how powerful that stuff is, and how powerless we are against it.

Great.

Just so you know, because I'm not picking on you at all. I have been there and done that, and they way I stay sober is helping others as a sponsor, (among other things) so I see people like you ALL the time. I have seen them come, and go, and come back, some live and sadly some die. Not to be harsh, but the ones who haven't made their choice either die, go to jail, go crazy as betsy bugs, or all the above. Its okay you haven't made your choice, because its obvious you haven't suffered enough to WANT to change. I think all of us were just trying to save you a lot of misery and pain, is all. But we know, sadly, you will have to feel it for yourself. That's why I don't mind telling you to have one on me.

I see.. your a sponsor? That's cool. Can I get one? Do I have to pay? Can I get one w.o going to AA? Haha

Ohhh so beat.

Your messing yourself up honestly get help ! If not then your going to look and feel like crap permanantly! You might even go insane but who knows your choices and you seem to make pretty bad choices lol sorry but it's trrue have fun drinking though.. see you

Fair enough.

I used to drink in college, went to a lot of parties. My friends slowly went away though. There were new ones then, they'd hang around until I was drunk enough to give them money, or let them borrow my car. More than 10 years out of college, I had lost all of my friends, cars and jobs and, and.

They say that you have to hit bottom. Bottom is where, and when you stop digging. I should have stopped in college, but it was all around me and what would I tell my friends? The lesson can take hold in college, or it can become clear later.

It became clear to me when I worked (hungover) in a state run nursing home. Over 30% of the people living there, were there because of alcoholism. All the alkies were 35 or older. (That gives you what, about 12-15 years?) There was one man there who was in a wheelchair. His mouth was always open, because he didn't remember to shut it. He could not talk except in grunts and he ate whatever he could grab. Wrapped sandwiches went right in, plastic and all. He was 55, and his only real problem in his whole life was alcohol. They had plenty of wheelchairs, one for me, one for you.

AA is both anonymous and free. Sponsors do not charge and if you really want help, you've got it. AA however, is not for those who need it. It is there for those who want it. By going, you will meet other girls just like you. Then you will have friends who do not drink. There, you can get to know people who understand just how hard it is to quit.

I see...

OK so I am having this relationship thing going on rite now and it kind of ties into the whole alcohol and drugs thing.

This guy Brad has been friends w. me for 3 yrs now. He liked me frosh yr and asked me to date him. I rejected him, because I wasn't feeling into him. Now 3 yrs later we hooked when we were durnk the other night. Now he's asking me again if I can give him a chance... I kind of didn't respond and he got the vibe I didn't want to... he pouted, bicthed and asked me what I was feeling... I can't really put it into words, I just don't think he's rite for me. He drinks a lot... smokes pot and ciggs... he's not to into school. He's been introuble w. the school... and he moves very fast. He is all about sex and I am not. I'm always too scared w. the pregnancy thing. I've got so much on the line. He's very pushy and likes public affection... I never really had a "boyfriend" so I think I'm also feeling nervous to go into something especially w. him. I just think he's trouble, esp for me. I just don't know what to do because I do like him at times and sometimes I don't... but all he wants is a chance. He said we'll quit pot and alcohol together. But I no he can't he's tried before...

I'm sorry this is so long I just got bak from smoking w. him and having a long talk and I'm confused... and high... and I need some advice. You all have been so good to me and I trust your opionions.

Thanku.

Honey! You can't say anything about or base any argument upon the fact that he "drinks a lot, smokes pot and cigs" because Darlin, you know your own addiction to alcohol (and, as you're writing this you admit to being "high" after coming back from smoking with him).

It sounds like you are seeing yourself in him and rejecting him because he is what you don't want to become...

Bottom line: you don't need to be in a relationship with anyone until you are well enough to be IN the relationship. You need to take care of yourself before you even think of a guy.

I have already read your other posts, and being inexperienced has caused you to focus on the wrong things. When you are ambiguous as you are to a relationship, then Don't do it. Leave yourself open to other options that may be healthier, and more emotionally rewarding. Why screw up with the first thing that shows you attention?

You need to focus on your mental health before you worry about a relationship. Once you are sober and on track, then you can look for a guy with the attributes you want. You should steer clear of this guy. Don't be with someone you don't feel that way about. Tell him that the only reason you "hooked up" was because you were drinking and, no offence, he isn't the guy for you. Tell him it was a mistake and you are sorry if it led him on. You won't get him to quit, he will get you to drink and use drugs more. When you go into the relationship trying to change someone, it usually doesn't work. More often than not, the person you are trying to change drags you down with him/her.

Wow.. thanks for the advice... I think I will tell him.. no ofense your just not for me... when he asked why what should I say? Lol

Just tell him the truth. Tell him that you aren't attracted to him in that way. Tell him that you don't think being in a relationship with someone who drinks and does drugs is a good thing for you. Tell him that you aren't ready for a relationship right now and that he moves too fast for you as far as sex. Hope this helps! :)

Wow... thanks again. I hope this works... he's the last thing I need. I think this is the rite thing to do. Hopefully I can tell him...

The truth is you only like him when your drunk. It may break his heart, but he can drown that in a bottle. (most people look better when your drunk, that holds for all of us)

Quote:

Originally Posted by justme005

i think this is the rite thing to do. hopefully i can tell him...

No. Say it this way:

This is the right thing to do.

I will tell him.

In fact, don't tell him anything. Stay away from him.

OK even better. But thatll be tough

It'll be tough but it's the best thing for you. And the best thing for him too, although he may not see it that way at first. Otherwise he will be hanging around you, hoping that maybe he has a chance, when in reality he has none. He might be sad, but I'm sure he will appreciate your honesty.

Who ever said life was easy??

I did. Haha

I need help.

We know.

Drrrrrrrrrrrunnnnnnnnnnk again. Talking to mymadviors tomorrow. If I have the balls.