Ask Me Help Desk - Who is most likely the father?

If I were in your situation, I would wait until the child was born then determine the father through paternity. A smart thing to do is just pray that your child is going to be raised in a good home. Whatever problems/dilemmas you and your husband have, you guys can work through them like adults. You guys are married. Children are blessings no matter how we look at it. It is something you cannot take back so use this to help strengthen yourself and your marriage. You do not have to explain your marriage to anyone. Your husband is your husband period. If you guys are willing to leave your past in your past then everything will be fine.

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Originally Posted by kp2171

i hope that is true, and i can understand the strain its putting on you, irregardless of the fact it is your child, no matter who the father is.

there is only one other thing im compelled to mention, and i say this because my wifes brother has sometimes made choices that hurt his family... as in he sways back and forth from being a family man, and then being selfish and not centered on the family.

i am a reasonably religious person. i have faith, im not as public about it as others, and im more active than some too. i am not saying what follows to be preachy... take it for what its worth.

the only thing i want you to do is remember, God giving us free will is not fate. we are not on a helpless path. and the reason i say that is my sister in law often says "its in God's hands" when shes in a jam. i am in NO WAY minimizing or belittling belief in God and the trust that one should have in Him. it is in those difficult moments that that trust lifts you up and can keep you standing.

i am, however, asking you to not make the mistakes she has made. ...by using "Gods will" to get through bad decisions she has made and some her husband made, she has sometimes falsely validated those bad decisions, and repeated them... saying thats just the path God has planned for her.

baloney.

use of common sense and good judgement are not contrary to faith in God. i only say that because ive seen how it can be devastating when its used to validate bad choices. after a decade of struggle, and many bad decisions on both sides, my sister in law has finally left her husband, filed for divorce, and, so sadly, filed a restraining order this last week.

Gods will was for them to honor their vows. they failed on so many levels over and over. i think shes finally seen empowerment of action and self-direction through faith is what she needed all along.

i think youre getting yourself centered, and you have some things to work through. make good choices and your life will be good.

again, sorry if that came off preachy. i never want to see what happened to my sister in law happen again in the name of Gods will.

allllllright. on that happy note im going to go play with my son. best of luck.

I just mean I have prayed and still pray for my relationship with my husband to work out. Marriage is favored by GOD and I believe that he will bring us back together of course with us putting in our work as well. Just last week my husband asked me if I wanted to move in together again and we are. I put it in GODS hands and he fixed something no man could fix on their own. Despite who the father turns out to be I love this child and I believe my husband loves me enough to love a child that is not his because it is mine. If I am wrong I still have a child who needs my love and it will be there. But I believe GOD is with us and love is going to conquer all the destruction that me and my husband caused to ourselves and our marriage. Love has brought us back together.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma226

If I were in your situation, I would wait until the child was born then determine the father through paternity. A smart thing to do is just pray that your child is going to be raised in a good home. Whatever problems/dilemmas you and your husband have, you guys can work through them like adults. You guys are married. Children are blessings no matter how we look at it. It is something you cannot take back so use this to help strengthen yourself and your marriage. You do not have to explain your marriage to anyone. Your husband is your husband period. If you guys are willing to leave your past in your past then everything will be fine.

Thanks Emma that was inspirational. Some of the other posts have made me feel like Im the only person who has made mistakes and just been plain confused about matters of the heart. But you are right me and my husband are working it out. We are living together again despite what our friends or families may think(mine is a lot more loving and accepting than his). And I know who I belong with and I can't wait for our romantic wekend together on my birthday. Ill be 25 a bit older and a lot wiser

Do what you think is best for you and your unborn child. After all you will be the one to live with the decision. Families can sometimes think that they are doing the right thing by interferring. I like to think that it is out of love and concern. Good luck. When is the baby due?

No matter what. This child is yours. Do you want to have your child. No matter what the tests may show. You have a living being inside of you. This baby is part of you. Please do not do any kind of tests that can harm the baby. No matter what. In my opinion. There is not a need for these sometimes recommended tests by doctors. I agree with everybody. Wait until the child is born to find out for sure. Good luck with everything.

Cheers.

Joe

As for the biological aspect, only a DNA test can tell for sure. The odds probably favor your husband but nothing's certain. Legally, however, having been married at the time of conception, your husband is presumed to be the father of the child.