Ask Me Help Desk - This is really killing me inside I feel like

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownGirl123

Well, no birth control is 100%, but the pill is pretty reliable.

True, but just ask my 2 oldest children, they were conceived on the pill and I took it at the same time every day religiously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownGirl123

Or maybe I could get the nuvaring. That way I won't have to worry about taking the pill everday.

That's possible, but it is not infalable either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownGirl123

I mean it's worth a shot to go natural with a guy if he's clean.

How do you know he is clean? Not to sound harsh, but many people either don't know if they harbor a virus or they are untruthful about the results.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownGirl123

During sex, yes I do fantasize but my mind starts to wander like crazy. I can only fantasize for so long then after awhile I literally get frustrated. And i just go blank. From there I am just waiting for the guy to ya know finish..

Have you tried porn?

Yes, I have tried porn. I do get really turned on but the thrusting doesn't do anything for me.

Right now, I am desperate to try anything. If having unprotected sex is what it will take I surely will do it. This is affecting myself esteem. If I don't do something about it then I will never have a healthy relationship ever in my life.

I think the problem is you're too focused on having an orgasm instead of having a good time. Focus on that moment being together with him, not the orgasm.

First of all, you need to relax.

Not appreciating your own body will hinder you from enjoying any physical activities with a partner. Many women also tend to enjoy sex more (or only) with a partner they are in love with or trust 100%. Many women you talk to may also be exaggerating how much they actually enjoy the deed. Everyone is different, but MOST women cannot orgasm from penatration alone. A woman's body is meant to be stimulated the way you described yourself.. . that's natural!

It may also help you to find partners who are willing to meet your needs and show patience, rather than just race toward the end.

The part of sex that many people find most enjoyable is the person-to-person (touching, etc) contact... not just the genital cotact, which leads back to being with someone you love (whom loves you back).

For your comments about nerves inside your vagina... there really aren't any. What you're describing is completely NORMAL! Physically, for childbirth, the vaginal canal does not have many nerve endings in order to help deal with pain... which also means sexual contact will not stimulate you in the way you think.

Sex feels good, when you are emotionally ready. Even as a married woman there are good and bad days! Right now, I think you need to take time to embrace your body... because it sounds like there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownGirl123

Well, I've spoke with a guy and I told him my problem. His advice is that the reason I don't enjoy sex or feel anything is because of condoms. He suggests the next time I have sex I should go all natural. Sex can decrease pleasure for both men and women. That could be the reason. I should go on birth control pills so i won't get pregnant. Therefore the next time I have sex I'll be safe. I'm wondering is he right??

You've seen condoms, I'm sure? They are so thin they are almost invisible! That's a classic line used by dullards of all ages... easy way to get a girl pregnant.

By the way, most if not all birth control pills actually have a common side effect of decreasing women's libido. I'm sorry to say that nothing in his comments were accurate.